Ever have a sexy girlfriend leave you? Ever find a second lady you thought was equally divine? Ever have the original lady came back and said "I’m back. And I don’t care if there are two of us – let’s party in our bikinis?*"
That’s basically how we feel with the return of Ryan Alexander Gordon Smyth**
*Not actual bikinis
**Actual full name
It must be the offseason as an Edmonton Oilers fan. We are filled with irrational exhuberance, think the team is going to be awesome next year and are running out to buy a new retro jersey as fast as our legs can carry us.
Just think! Ryan Smyth has returned to the Oilers! Do you know how rarely that sort of thing occurs in professional sports? It happens somewhere between "never" and "less than never."
The hometown hero was forced to leave in tears, only to return triumphantly to a new GM who has off record admitted that he felt an immense amount of pressure from the fans to bring him back.
Let’s play out some scenarios here for a moment. Smyth needs to be kept in the fold for the remainder of his days and retire a good old Edmonton Oiler. While his output will certainly diminish – he is still scoring goals by the bushel – he still has a long time left on the odometer. He may need to walk using robot legs in 35 years, but they will be locally puchased from an Edmonton Robot Leg store so he will be fine.
WHAT IF THAT IS 5-6 YEARS?
Is it possible that Smyth plays a part in another Oilers playoff run? Could it be that the Mulletian One is going to tutor Hall and Eberle about the ins and the outs of being a playoff warrior? Could he teach the SuperStuds how to deflect pucks into the back of the net with their faces to win the series?
Sweet merciful Gods of Hockey. It has actually happened. What it means to be an Oiler and play Oiler hockey is coming back to Rexall Place with all of the class and work ethic that we knew and loved so long ago.
It’s fortunate that we have given our heart and soul to Jordan Eberle at the start of the season for all eternity. That is a sacred bond between stalker and stalkee that cannot be broken no matter how exciting the situation may get.
Having said that – we loooooooooooooove Ryan Smyth. Embarassingly so.
We were texted by a friend earlier today who said basically the same thing: ""if the OilersNation thinks you fluff Eberle wait till they see how you love Smyth. I remember before the Nation when we all had to listen to you gush over him. "
It may get gooey around these parts.
A CONTEST TO TOP IT OFF
Our friends at Oodle Noodle were super pumped today about the Smyth deal and offered to put up a $94 gift card to the lucky winner of a brand new photoshop contest. What contest you ask? How about a Ryan Smyth returning to Edmonton contest.
Email all your entries to firstname.lastname@example.org
We will post them on Friday we can all vote over the weekend and then declare a winner on Monday.
But really we are all winners – Ryan Smyth is home where he belongs.