WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER

"You are a stump. Almost as much of a stump as a person, who will go unnamed, that hasn’t posted the Photoshop winner yet. *CoughWanyeCough" – Lead Hands McLezy – July 06 2011, 01:50AM

"@WanyeGretz Lead Hands also wants to know how/when he can get that oodle noodle GC, that is if it actually exists #rypunzel @marco6160" -@SHMcSteeley on twitter around 1:10 PM MST

You know we get lipped off around a lot around here. "Wanye post the radio show faster." "Wanye, post the contest winners faster." "Wanye get back from your date with my sister so you can take my mom out to the parking lot for a jolly rogering."

Cry, cry, cry.

DON’T MESS WITH WANYE

You may not realize this but we are extremely dangerous. Not as dangerous as ol’ MJ here sending Mr. T into a panic for his life, but certainly dangerous enough to kick the crap out of a few folks before we get tired, or get bored, or get severely injured in the melee. 

If everyone keeps chirping us we have half a mind to return to the river valley and make our fortune collecting cans once again. We can’t deal with all this pressure, its getting to be too much*

We have been working so hard trying to get jetsnation.ca ready for launch later this weekend. So you will have to excuse us if we can’t be doing everything all at once** replying to tweets in seconds*** and gawking at pictures of celebrities in bikinis online ****

THE WINNER IS

What’s this? The artist responsible for what is easily one of the best photoshop pictures we have ever seen is a member of Team Fist? So that means that everyone who chirps the Fist Faction for being "morons" and the like can now eat crow because one of their members has beaten the pants off of all the other photoshoppians capturing 36% of the popular vote in the poll?

Yeah. That just happened.

Second place goes out to Lord of the Rink, followed by Mullet Force, and a tie between History will be made and Back to the Mullet. But there is sweet, sweet comeuppance for the Fist haters today Nation. Lead Hands McLezy has dominated this contest and has won the $94 gift card from Oodle Noodle Downtown.

A big thank you to everyone who entered the contest. We cannot express with words currently in the English language how impressed we are with the entries and thank you all for taking time out of your busy work days – putting aside real work though it pains you – to go to the trouble of making such sweet posters.

We are going to harass our sponsors for more GCs to give away as prizes and have another contest soon. Then we will announce the winner 2 days later than expected, upload the radio show 10 hours later than expected and laugh the entire time.

Damn it feels good to be a gangster****

ANOTHER SIGN THE CURSE IS LIFTING

Check out the total at the pump that Citizen of the Nation thesquireyeg had earlier today at the Esso on Stony Plain Road and 157 Street. "I take this as another sign that Smytty’s return is reordering the universe back to the way it should be. Normally I give the nozzle an extra squeeze but when I saw the total I said ‘No way Jose’ that will do just nice"

$94.94 on the pump?! That is crazy. It is a sign. An omen if you will.

If anyone else has Smyth Omens they see around town, take a picture and send em to your ol’ pal Wanye on the twitters or on the emails at wanyegretz@gmail.com.

FOOTNOTES

*We can

**We can

***We do

****We are

******It really does.

  • John Chambers

    How can I help with the Jetsnation site? I’m willing to create up to 6 avatars debating the merits of the Andrew Ladd signing just to start the dialogue.

    PS – congrats to Lead Hands. That, my man, belongs in the Louvre.*

    *Louvre = Black Dog or maybe a Boston Pizza

    • Would you like to have the honor of making the first article picture ever to be displayed in the history of JetsNation?

      As the fine gentleman you are you are welcome to make it if you’d like. Something nice welcoming all the Jets fans into the scrum and what not.

      If not, I have a picture of a dancing cat for the first article which I have half ready*

      *10% ready

      • John Chambers

        Hmm, that’s a toughie. I live in Winnipeg but grew up in Edmonchuk so I don’t think of any proud Jets moments aside from Selanne shooting his gloves. But that was just regular season fireworks … These Winnipeggers know nothing of playoff heroics aside from the Mighty Oil crushing their dreams spring after spring.

        I thought maybe an article that stimulated debate about Cheveldayoff being some kind of mad scientist or damn fool for going off the board at the draft, or a Zona-type bitch article about how the Jets aren’t addressing their overwhelming weakness at Centre…

        But I’m not into stats or clever art. Winnipegs version of Willis or Lead Hands will emerge, I’m sure.

        Edit: thanks for the offer, Lord Wanye. Make sure to come by the Chambers manor for Half Pints beer and Bison steaks before the Oilers’ February crushing of Ladd et al.

        • You live in Winnipeg??

          I shall take you up on this offer sooner than you think.

          First picture on JetsNation welcoming them into the fold is still up for grabs. Any takers from our photoshop genius battalion?

        • Jodes

          Well actually I started hanging out there in my late 20s, so maybe it is about the “age” thing. So it wasn’t like I was a “kid”.

          Bitter, maybe back then, I’m just more sarcastic and angry now lol..

          I’ve discussed it with many people, and they’ve said since the fire it hasn’t been the same. The patio upstairs was great the way it was.. It didn’t need the uppity “new bar”.

          Ah Frak it.. I guesss I am old and bitter!

          Damn I need a pint at BD before I head to Skynyrd!

          Maybe not going for a few years will help me change my mind and get me remembering the good times, not the bad.

          Oh yeah.. I’m up for this photoshop contest as well!

      • Bucknuck

        I took my wife there on one of our first dates (before she was my wife, of course). I think it’s different now for a couple reasons.

        1. We’re older.

        2. We are no longer single so we can’t scan the crowd and scope for lovely ladies to chat with.

        3. Kids these days wear their hats sideways. There is something wrong with that. I just don’t “get it” I guess.

        • book¡e

          I am pretty sure that if someone is wearing their hat sideways that you are legally allowed to light the brim of their hat on fire*

          *I am not responsible for this legal advice – Wanye is.

          • Bucknuck

            Excellent! I shall begin this program immediately. I just have to buy a lighter and a little can of accelerant to apply covertly on the target hats prior to lighting.

            EDIT – Wanye you should put a call in to your lawyer. This could get messy.

    • book¡e

      Wanye – you really should seed the comment sections at the various sites with some commentators – I mean, even the posters don’t comment on the other Nation sites.

  • I tip my Jofa to Lead Hands MzLezy. That was a beautiful photoshop. I’d love to see the runners up.

    That said, I am still devoutly anti-[word redacted] and will do all that is in my power to forever stamp it from the interweb.

  • Brownlee loves the word meow

    Meow I look forward to running over the competition in the next contest.
    No matter what the idea for the next one is..im making sure to include Brownlee’s face in it.
    It is time Brownlee got served some FIST!

    • Ender

      Congrats, Lead Hands. You totally deserved to win. My entry was Lord of the Rink, and even though I was proud of it I had to admit that your entry was incredibly creative.

      [hat tip]

      The bar has been raised.

      • Max Powers - Team HME Evans

        And a hat-tip to you good sir for your own quality entry. The Gollum/Tambo collaboration was epic.

        Bar raised indeed. These fisters with various types of heavy hands can be creative.

      • Brownlee loves the word meow

        Meow a hat tip to you too good sir, and a thank you..Yours was the one i was most worried about. Very solid Ps’ing

        We will see who gets the upper FIST next contest..

  • Brownlee loves the word meow

    Meow thank you thank you your far too kind.

    Mine and Softhands bellies should be full of noodles sooner than later! Cant wait. $94 dollars worth of free food..cant complain!

    It was a team Fist idea collaboration so i cant take all the credit.

    Softhands and Stonehands Deserve a lot of the credit coming up with the weird idea!

  • knee deep in it

    The reason Mr T is looking at him like that is because he is thinking – Dude, you hit me with that girly fist and you are going to end up with a broken thumb.

  • Max Powers - Team HME Evans

    winner winner SHEEN dinner. I know I know he’s played but that is one sentence that will live on forever, if only by me. Winning? pfft.

  • Bucknuck

    Remember the sea of white in 1990 when the Jets were up three games to one on our beloved Oilers? That’s when Ranford made a pact with the devil and stopped everything thrown his way from then on in and the Oilers stomped them.

    Then they had nice white kerchiefs to cry in.*

    *My favourite Jets memory.

    • book¡e

      I hate the Winnipeg Jets and look forward to their team breaking the record for the most losses while their fans break the record for the most losers. Stupid scum sucking pathetic excuse of a team and organization.

      Yay, the Jets are back!

    • paul wodehouse

      hey Bucknut with regard to The Infamous Sea of White in the ‘peg…Grant Fuhr once said that he loved playing in Winnipeg in that Sea of White …he could track&see the puck a hundred times better on the white background…wonder…is that why the Oilers swept the Jets sooo many times back then?

      Fans use to bring their ‘sweep’ brooms to the first two games of any series we played the Jets…most times we wouldn’t see the Jets again but the fans back then were hardcore confident…yellin’ at Slats to decline penalties!!!or when they were on a power play and they’d yell out who was gonna take the penalty to go 4on4 because it was more fun wheelin’ 4on4…you saw that team play, unreal

  • Brownlee loves the word meow

    Meow some say that some of the posters should be made into wallpapers for people to download…just saying that the one down-loadable wallpaper looks mighty lonely up there

  • paul wodehouse

    …was that an audible gasp i just heard from the collective when citizen chambers respectfully blew the Dictator for Life off?

    K …no there are going to be thunderstorms later this evening…i was wrong

  • Dan the Man

    My dream is to have “Damn it feels good to be a gangsta” play every time I enter a room.

    Also outstanding work on the Ryan Smyth Photoshop contest thingy.

  • Quicksilver ballet

    As a guy with 20 yrs experience at being 25, what is Jolly Rogering….does it have something to do with this new planking phenomena Jason mentioned, or a segment of the new Robin Brownlee show debuting in a few weeks?

  • DJ Dynasty Handbag

    @ Quicksilver

    this may be explained best through the song stylings of chef

    i don’t have the skillz to make it a proper link, so cut and paste will have to do.