STARS THRU THE AGES

It`s the best day of the season when you are cheering for the 30th place team two years running. The Oilers enter the game undefeated. Tom Gilbert is as good as anyone on paper. Memories of last season`s opener echo in our minds and hearts.

Not only is it game day bitches, but it is also time to talk the 2011-12 Stars on the Oil.

STARS THRU THE AGES

It has been a long and tortured path for your ol`pal Wanye when it comes to picking stars on the Oilers every year. Don`t believe us? Take a look:

2005-06: Chris Pronger (that went well until that thing at the end of the season which caused us to cry tears of rage)

2006-07: Ryan Smyth (traded at during the season, caused a grief so strong OilersNation.com was born and caused us to cry tears of bitter disbelief)

2007-08: Shawn Horcoff (lit the lamp like crazy, got hurt, caused us to cry tears of revenge for the ultra violent 2008 All Star game)

 

2008-09: Erik Cole (played like crap, demanded to go back to Carolina, caused us to cry tears of shock as Brownlee called the trade like months in advance)

 

2009-10: Mike Comrie (led the league in preseason scoring, spent majority of the year on the shelf, signed elsewhere in the offseason causing us to cry tears of – er no, this actually wasn’t that bad)

 

2010-11: Jordan Eberle (was awesome right out of the gate as an NHL rookie scoring a goal in Game 1 that was so sick our hair stood on end and caused us to cry tears of redemptive joy)

It was only the wise selection of young Jordan Eberle as our star – though he had not appeared in a single NHL game when we made the call – that has redeemed 5 years of heart ache on the star front. And even though our favorite modern Oiler of all time has returned to the lineup we are calling the following audible:

2011-12 STAR: JORDAN EBERLE

But seriously.

You think this Jordan Eberle fan worship business is a joke? You think we squee all over hells half acre only to punt him aside when our hero Ryan Smyth comes home? Shame on you. We are far more loyal than that.

As seen above in a crudely drawn artist`s impression we would imagine that this honor inspires Eberle to the point he pots another jim dandy of a season opening goal tonight. We will be in attendance in our finest Eberle attire, smashing Rexall "Beers" and dancing about wildly.

And whom do you pick?

    • justDOit

      I would be inclined to agree, but he hasn’t exactly shown good chemistry with his center for tonight – Horcs. I hope Lander gets some time between MPS and O!.

    • Krusher

      Couldn’t agree more. He is underrated and will finally start to get talked about as a very good goalie and one with great promise for many years to come. Let’s go Oilers!!!

  • Golffun420

    Ill take Smyth for you Wanye. By the way this is me starting to post on the Nation 😉 Couldn’t use the other name as i couldn’t remember my password

  • Sam Gagner

    This is his year, once he decides Anton Lander has had enough of the NHL he will walk down from the press box and play on a line with Hemsky and Hall. Pushing RNH down a line so he can eat the lesser competition alive and he’ll even drive Lander to the airport cuz hes a good guy.

    He’s in his 5th pro season at the ripe old age of 22 and its a contract year. This guy is going to take his offense to the next level. Even missing the first week or two I still think he’s good for point totals in the mid 50’s. Once Hemsky is traded at the deadline the team will move him to the wing and elevate RNH, but the move will be beneficial for everyone.

  • Krusher

    oilers 7 penquins 2.hall gets 2 goals,eberle nets hat trick and hemsky and smyth each get a goal,hopkins gets 3 assists,dubnyk has a great game and everyone is happy.squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • I will counter with a resounding vote for Sam Gagner (Please note grammatically correct spelling for future reference > G.A.G.N.E.R.) as my star.

    He will crush the hearts of all Gagner-haters and crest 60 points this year. And when he does, I will take great pleasure in repeatedly mentioning that fact in every “Trade Gagner” 300 comment blog post.

    Every. Single. One.

    #LikeABoss

  • John Chambers

    Nikolai Khabibulin. Believe ‘dat.

    This year The Bulin Wall, Charlie Sheen, David Hasselhoff, and Amy Winehouse make big comebacks, prompting us to wonder how high their star might’ve risen if it weren’t for their terrible afflictions.

    By “Star” Khabbi will post a satisfactory .912, earning the go-to guy moniker as we stay in contention for a playoff spot until St. Patricks day. Then the wheels will fall off and our Spring Reward will be Matt Dumba.

    • Wanyes bastard child

      Psst… Amy Winehouse passed away*

      As for my star, I was originally thinking of picking Barker as my darkhorse but I think I have to agree with Arch and David S on this one and go with Gagner.

      This is his year to prove the haters wrong!

      Also a couple important notes to share;

      1) ITS GAME DAY BITCHES!!!!

      2) SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!

      3) BOOBS!!!!!

  • Oilers G- Nations Poet Laureate

    My Star for this year is the love child of Ted Nugent and Anthony Hopkins……RNH with 60 points!!!!!!!!!!!

    My gameday prediction is Wanye will consume 11 Rexall Beers and purchase all the Eberle swag he can get his robotic hands on!.

    Oilers 4 Penguins 2

  • Skidplate

    I pick Hall as one of the obvious choices for star.

    And Barker for goat. (even though I hope he does well). I just couldn’t take the obvious pick of Khabibulin. (you have one large set Mr. Chambers sir to pick him as your star)

    • John Chambers

      Its like picking a longshot horse: if you’re right you get to drink the $15 glass of whiskey instead of belting wild turkey in the parking lot, and you get to gloat about your God-given clairvoyance.

      If I’m wrong, which stats, history, and the naked eye all tell me that I will be, I’m sure I’ll get asked: “Were you drunk when you made this pick, Mr. Chambers?”, at which time I’ll respond “Why yes. Yes I was.”

    • John Chambers

      Its like picking a longshot horse: if you’re right you get to drink the $15 glass of whiskey instead of belting wild turkey in the parking lot, and you get to gloat about your God-given clairvoyance.

      If I’m wrong, which stats, history, and the naked eye all tell me that I will be, I’m sure I’ll get asked: “Were you drunk when you made this pick, Mr. Chambers?”, at which time I’ll respond “Why yes. Yes I was.”