Holy smokes. Not only are the Oilers on absolute fire but so are the entrants in the fourth installment of the photoshop contest. At first we were only going to allow 10 finalists but 31 seperate people entered the thing!
Unbelievable – doesn’t anyone work anymore?
ENTRY 1: ANGIE AND NUGIE
Imagine Angelina Jolie had birthed the Nuge so many years ago? Not only would he be a straight gangster pimp on the ice, but his father would be Tyler Durden off the ice. No offense to his real Earth parents, but that would be awesome.
ENTRY 2: ASTRONUGE
When this entry came in we had to run to imdb.com to see if there had actually been a movie released called Astro Nuge. This poster is insane and the movie – which we assume is very much real and very much on its way to a theatre near you – is going to be radical.
ENTRY 3: BABY NUGIE NUGE
See THIS is the kind of entry we had envisioned when we thought up the new contest. Look at them l’il pigtails! Look at the Cabbage Patch doll he is hauling around! EEEEEEE!
ENTRY 4: BIEBERNUGE
Obviously anything that ties the Nuge to the Biebs has us at hello. Justin Bieber is only a single year younger than RNH as our memory serves, which should put this whole age thing in scary perspective for us all.
ENTRY 5: COREY POTTER
These kids are all little wizards led by Corey Potter of late and the glasses on Eberle’s face are classic and Hall looks so fetching with his mop of brown hair that we had to include it among the finalists. Classic.
ENTRY 6: FULL HOUSE
This is just hilarious. Look at DJ Tanner-Hall! Look at the Nuge as Michelle! Bonus points for leaving Stamos untouched too. Our sides hurt from laughing at this photo for the past hour.
ENTRY 7: DRIVE TIME!
Not only is this one part hilarity and one part diabetes-causing sweet but there are bonus points for including a Jordan Eberle autograph on the stick Nugie is holding to get in our good books. This worked and we should all take note of that trick for future entries.
Smytty probably does bundle the Nuge into the van to take him to the airport for road trips. And once he wakes from his nap in the opposing City he is full of energy to destroy whomever he chooses on the ice. Well played Poppa Smyth. That’s some damn fine parenting.
ENTRY 8: LOOK WHO’S SCORING
Epic comparisons to legendary NHL players? Check. Reference to 80s classic flick Look who’s talking. Check. Yes, this will work nicely.
ENTRY 9: HALL AND NUGE
All the modifications to this classic picture are awesome. Nuge as Gary Coleman is brilliant. Taylor Hall as the Moose is awesome. And Brownlee making sure everything is legit is almost too much to bear. This is just a great entry.
ENTRY 10: SEASON TWO
This baby is ready to go as a saleable poster. If you temporarily forget that George Lucas would sue the living hell out of the Oilers for about 15 copyright infringements of course. Stupid George Lucas, always getting in the way of good Oilers posters.
ENTRY 11: PAMPERS
RNH’s agent should take note of a potential endorsement deal here. Nugent-Hopkins brand pampers would fly off the shelves in Edmonton netting the agent 10% of what would have to be hundreds of millions of dollars in revenue.
ENTRY 12: THE MANY FISTS OF THE NUGE
This entry is not only funny as all hell but bonus points are awarded for suggesting that a shopping trip with your ol’ pal Wanye and RNH would result in him dressing with the flair of a 1920s pimp. At Halloween. If his costume was "stereotypical pimp." That is exactly how we would suggest he dress.
As always the winner of the Photoshop Contest will receive a catered lunch for 10 from our friends at Oodle Noodle. If the winner doesn’t live in Edmonton we will mail him or her 10 orders of Oodle Noodle in a tupperware container. It may arrive cold and inedible, but we can’t help but think you should have thought of that before you lived somewhere other than Edmonton.