GDB 79: CALIFORNICATION

Really, what could be more appropriate on April Fool’s day 2012 than having the Edmonton Oilers face the Anaheim Ducks?

Having already burned the gag where the Oilers called up Magnus Paajarvi from Oklahoma City of the AHL when they weren’t allowed to a day or so early, and with the Columbus Blue Jackets unavailable, a game between two outfits hopelessly out of the Western Conference playoff race and crawling toward game No. 82 on their hands and knees is the perfect stunt, no?

With fans in Edmonton clinging to hope the Oilers don’t mess-up their second seed in the NHL Entry Draft lottery with a late spasm of life and a win or three and most Anaheim fans — let’s face it, they don’t give a squirt of sun tan lotion what happens — already a couple blocks down the road at the Big A watching the Angels, this is not a match-up that holds much intrigue.

For the Oilers, 14th in the Western Conference with 71 points from a record of 31-38-9, tonight marks the first of two quick games in California – they face the Kings in Los Angeles Monday – before they take on the Ducks one more time, at Rexall Place Thursday. The Oilers/Spoilers/Coilers close out the season, their sixth straight out of the playoffs, in Vancouver Saturday.

Is it too blunt to simply say, "Get on with it?"

ROAD RASH

If you want to consider it progress, the Oilers 13-21-4 road record with three road games left to play, gives them one more victory away from home than they managed all last season, when they went 12-23-6. This juggernaut has four more wins than 2009-10, when they were 9-28-4. The team is on pace to reach 20 road wins during the 2013-14 season.

THE LINE-UPS

The Oilers didn’t skate in Anaheim this morning so nobody got a look at Tom Renney’s forward line combinations or defense pairings, but you can count on several changes to the line-up, even if Paajarvi won’t be one of them.

— Colten Teubert, recalled from Oklahoma City, and Cam Barker, who has been a healthy scratch for 15 straight games, will both be inserted on the blue line for injured Ladislav Smid and Jeff Petry. There is a possibility they will be play together in a third pairing – a possibility one can only imagine the Ducks await with great anticipation.

"It’s great to get back in," said Barker, who hasn’t played since Feb. 29 vs. St. Louis. "It’s been a while, so I’m looking forward to it and the next three. It’s tough not playing. You want to play, compete and help the team. I’ve got to keep working hard and hang in there."

— Expect Ryan Whitney, Nick Schultz, Andy Sutton and Corey Potter to get the vast majority of the ice time as Renney tries to hide Teubert and Barker manage the ice time of his overmatched back end.

— Renney indicated this morning that centre Eric Belanger could make a return to the line-up after taking a seat in the press box, meaning Chris VandeVelde might get a place in the cheap seats.

— Renney was non-committal when asked about inserting Linus Omark, so it seems unlikely the shifty Swede will get a chance to be lost in the Belanger Triangle against the Ducks in his final days as an Oiler. It seems more likely Omark will play in Los Angeles.

— Devan Dubnyk gets a chance to carry the roll he fashioned in March into April as he’ll get the start. Dubnyk, who went 6-2-1 with a 1.95 goals-against average and a .934 save percentage in March, is 19-18-2 with a 2.71 goals-against average and a saves percentage of .913.

The Oilers will face Anaheim’s top stopper in Jonas Hiller, who is 29-28-11 with a 2.53 GAA and a saves percentage of .912.

GAME DAY PREDICTION: The Ducks won’t roll like they did in a 5-0 rout of the Oilers at Rexall Place Jan. 13, but they’ll be more than good enough to prevail and make it three straight wins over Edmonton in the season series. Think along the lines of 5-2. The rematch is here Thursday.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: With Teubert and Barker forced into action on Edmonton’s blue line, don’t be surprised if Bruce Boudreau plays Corey Perry, Ryan Getzlaf, Teemu Selanne and Bobby Ryan until the wheels fall off.

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Having the 41-year-old Selanne skate circles around him on the way to a four-night as his career goes deeper into the dumper causes Barker to snap after the game. A distraught Barker throws himself under the Oilers bus as it pulls away from the rink on the way to LA. He finds Omark there.

Listen to Robin Brownlee Wednesdays and Thursdays from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. on the Jason Gregor Show on TEAM 1260.

  • Wanyes bastard child

    Calgary misses playoffs – Check

    Toronto misses playoffs – Check

    Oilkings make second round of playoffs – Check

    Phoenix makes playoffs on the back of Ray Whitney – Check?

    Oilers draft first or second – Check?

    • Minyon

      Not so fast,my friend. The Oil are now in 28th, drafting in the third spot as we speak. Those Habs are making a mighty run for number29, and we own the tiebreaker. This was a win they couldn’t really afford.

  • Stocc

    GDP- Selanne torches the Oilers for the trick, throws his glove in the air and shoots it one last time before he skates off into the sunset of hockey lore.

    The Nuge pots two and Eberle undresses two defenders and goes shelf on Hiller for the winner late in the third.

    Sutton nails Perry on borderline questionable hit, in response to someone looking at one of the smurfs, and then fights Parros, well probably not, but I’d like to see that tilt.

  • DoubleJ

    Why is Omark not getting into the games? Seriously. Is it Renney’s decision? I don’t get it. The last two games have been amazing without him. Palm face. I hate this group running this team. It’s a joke.

  • vetinari

    All I can say is this: Suck it Flames! The Oilers already have all the best off-season tee times which serves you Flames guys right for delaying the inevitable…

  • Giant Squid Overlord

    Listening to the radio broadcast and is my connection lagging or does Stauffer sound like he should have not got that extra beer with dinner?

    I’m sure I’d be half cut this late in the season having to call the game we all were expecting.

    Just an observation of a little slurring/stumbling over words, I totally have respect for the job he does. Did anyone else notice this?

  • Time Travelling Sean

    Habs suck. There goal differential is better than the Panthers yet they’re worse than us?

    The Wild picked a good time to start winning though eh?

  • Bryzarro World

    Off topic but if you have any insight I would appreciate it. With this election being held and the chance the wrp will form government, do you see this screwing up our plans for a dt arena? They don’t seem to “pro edm” or for spending on things like that. Do we have a backup plan?

    • book¡e

      I am going to start chewing straw, burn my degree, and go back to being a good ol’ rural Albertan again – I am hoping this saves me when the purges of the intellectuals occur. I still have my old 79 dodge 4×4 at the farm, that should buy me a little credibility.

      • Minyon

        Hmm, political equivalent of the zombie apocalypse. Hopefully they take the bit about Bread and Circuses to heart. Hands off our gladiators chumps don’t make us get up and vote next time, you wont like it.

        I’ll make this real simple for the political parties.

        We the hockey people need only a few things from you.

        1. Quit lying
        2. Clear the roads so we can get to and from work / hockey games / practice / pimped out garage man caves where we drink beer and watch hockey.
        3. Leave us enough tax dollars that we can spend it on hockey related activities and items.
        4. Quit Lying
        5. We are not stupid we are just too polite to tell you what we really feel (hence no pitchforks).
        6. If you make us mad enough to vote en masse, you will not like the outcome. We are oil fans we will suffer for what we believe.
        7. Did I mention don’t screw with our hockey team. Our gladiators need a proper arena in which to spill their blood for team and money.

        I hope 7 rules wasn’t too much for these yahoos.

    • Just because “Bath” signed up near midnight yesterday to jump into a conversation that had nothing to do with hockey, are you suggesting something is amiss? Are you implying Bath’s interest is something other than hockey, the preservation of free speech and the exchange of ideas? How jaded and cynical.

      I’m perfectly willing to give these two new members — they are here to talk about hockey and not about me — a heartfelt welcome to our little site and clean slate to start with despite the fact we seem to have got off on the wrong foot. I look forward to countless comments about hockey and the Oilers from both of them.

      As a token of good faith, I’ve already edited out a reference Bath made to me and the use of Viagra, but I didn’t delete the rest of the comment (sadly, another comment questioning my motivation for writing at ON, a remark using a reference another recently banned poster seemed to favour, had to go). Now, let’s talk hockey!!!!!!!!!

  • Minyon

    Oh Icy god of blood sweat and beer, we name you hockey. May our team play with continued pride against LA and may you bless us with health … and at least one more goal than them . . . ummh while we are at it would you mind showing up to a home game here and there next season?

    Oh yah, go Oil

    Amen

  • Reg Dunlop

    That was some fascinating dialogue between minyon and bathguy, 2 obviously different people. From douche nietzsche to bath schopenhauer, whats next? clense heidegger?

    • Minyon

      Are you being sarcastic? I’m unsure from the tone. If you are though, please explain how I have offended you so that i can apologize.

      In the meantime, Good to meet you Reg. I hope U R funny. I like funny ppl lol.

      Minyon Out.

    • Minyon

      OK I get it now … heideggar cuz you are uncertain, funny! little highbrow for me. If not what you meant then funny accident so i’m gonna reuse it. Later . . .

    • Reg, you too? Why are you and Pelhem so, uh, suspicious of Bath and Minyon?

      Are you suggesting that just because our man Douche continued posting from multiple IP addresses after he was blocked for being an ass with me (and others), he is trying to pull a fast one by returning with a new address and new fake name just hours after getting the bum’s rush, the knucklehead express to Loser City, the old heave-ho?

      Are you implying that Minyon, who signed up March 31, and Bath, who joined The Nation April 1 with the carcass of Douche barely cold, might be the same person? That they aren’t really here to talk hockey? Why else would they be here? But, but . . .

      Goodness me.

  • Minyon

    settle down and talk hockey with me guys. If you read the posts, the diction, style, and aggression levels don’t match. I am Minyon. There is only one. I am it. Let’s talk hockey folks.

    • Against all odds in a city this size and remarkable as it seems, a quick check of the logs here at ON shows you and our man Douche have the same IP address.

      Minyon
      137.186.194.5

      Douche Nietzsche
      137.186.194.5

      Maybe it’s a coincidence. Maybe you live in the same building or frequent the same coffee shop. Or maybe, just maybe, you’re done here — under any name or any IP address.

      Yes, I think that’s the way we’ll go.

  • Minyon

    Hey where did the rest of this thread go? there are 23 msgs in my local cache but only 20 on the site. Is this one of those heavy censorship sites? I don’t even understand what got them removed. . . is there a rule book around here somewhere??

  • Wanyes bastard child

    Nope, I think it was someone that got kicked awhile back and was trying to circumvent the rules. Robin is awesome just don’t try and mess with him eh.

  • The rest of this thread? You mean three comments from your pal who calls himself Douche?

    As remarkably staged as your question seems — I think you know exactly what happened and you either know or are the poster involved — I’ll answer it.

    Here’s the “rulebook.” It’s short and it applies to everybody:

    — If you have your IP blocked, and that can happen at the discretion of any ON writer, you don’t get to come back whenever you feel like it by changing IP addresses, which is what your man Douche (and others) have attempted.

    If an IP block is requested, it applies to the person doing the posting, not just the address. I keep a list of those people. If they try to skirt the rules by posting from a new IP, the comments are removed and that IP gets blocked too.

    Your man Douche is blocked. He might post here again from a new IP, but those comments will be removed and the new IP will be added to the list. When you’re done, you’re done.

  • By the way, your latest comment is caught up in the “Pending Comments” section, which is something I have no control over, so it hasn’t appeared here, at least not yet.

    Your story is you’re just looking for a hockey website where you can chill out and have your say, but you don’t have much time, so you want to make sure this ON site isn’t too oppressive in terms of censoring what’s written. You don’t want to waste your time with a site like that, and me banning your man Douche has you wondering. That’s the only reason you brought him up at all, right?

    What I’m wondering is this: how is it that a guy who doesn’t have much time and is just looking for a casual internet hockey joint took the time to post the comment that’s caught in the pending section four different times from three different IP addresses? That seems awful time-consuming and a bit more pointed than a casual inquiry. It doesn’t pass the smell test. Maybe that’s just me.

    This might not be the place for you.

  • I didn’t mind Teubert or Barker tonight.

    It’s not like Barker was taking an easy touch by going with Getzlaf. The writing is on the wall for Cam and I’m guessing he knows it, so that shows some character on his part because he could simply mail it in right now.

    As for Teubert, I like him in the context of what I see down the road. Looks like a mean, physical third-pairing guy to me. Could morph into an Andy Sutton type.

  • Wax Man Riley

    He was even over 12 minutes and didn’t make any glaring errors. So many people have written him off in these forums, but it still looks like there is a professional hockey player in there. Where do you think he goes? Mark Giordano had to go to the KHL to find his game. Should Cam do the same?

  • I realize the circumstance were different, but Giordano certainly seemed a different player when he came back, although that could have been the development curve he was on anyway. Who knows how these things are going to pan out? Sure points out how difficult it is to hit a home run with a dman as a lottery pick. Sometimes a bloop single is hard enough.

  • Time Travelling Sean

    What if they use a different username and change their IP? You couldn’t tell?

    And you should be a little more lenient, you shouldn’t have to be Judge Judy, not that I like Douche, he is kind of one.

  • Minyon

    This is childish. I was a fan. I am sure there is another oilers site somewhere. For the record however. I own a smartphone, a 3g tablet, and usually have my laptop handy.

    So, when my post did not make it through on one device I assumed I had an app problem, so i tried the tablet, same deal, next the laptop. Finally thought I was blocked for some reason so gave up. Looking back here now.

    Since my post has been caught in tech limbo, would you mind posting its contents here just to appease me? It would cost you nothing and show some good will.

  • Minyon

    Thanks for letting me know what was up with the post, I was getting paranoid that I was blocked, and a little confused about the treatment as a new member. . .

    BTW the reason it was stuck is that i used the words r@c1sm, h0m0ph0b1a etc, to describe the behavior that usually gets comments removed from social media sites. I replaced the description with the word rancorous and i guess it satisfied the automatic content censor.

    Original reply (slightly modified as stated above)

    OK, I think I am in over my depth here. I don’t know what this guy did to tick, you (“I’m assuming?) off. After reading your response (pasted below and copied to my local cache) I went looking, I figured guy named Douche gets banned lol should be good for a laugh.

    Apparently all posts removed? Usually happens for hateful behavior, or rancorous behavior. So I’ll be more specific.

    I don’t want to start engaging in this community only to find that heavy handed oversight effectively becomes a censor. I want to feel free to speak my mind even if you disagree with me. Can that happen here?

    I can appreciate that you must be pretty upset. Seems like this guy really got to you. Lol whatever though I just wanna know if this is a place I can chill.

    BTW. The IP address trick is a little heavy handed. I live in a complex where we all share a single outbound proxy. I.E. there are 60 computers right now with what would seem like the same ip address if they visited your site. If this guy visits anyone in that building. and you ban him based on that ip address, you have just effectively banned a building of potential fans on the spurious evidence of the real or imagined sins of a non resident.

    The sad thing is that its just for the sake of tech expedience. Your IT guys aren’t stupid most likely, so I can only think that identity management is just not at the top of their list of priorities.

    No big who likes big brother anyway. Your hostility does concern me though. Am I in the middle of an extraordinary circumstance or is thiss your usual affect?

    Bad ju ju if you are trying to foster community. So thats why I wanna know if this place will be a good use of my limited surfing time.

    Look forward to hearing from you.

  • Bath Schopenhauer

    If your comment didnt make it on here: how did he reply to it and how did he bother to see it? Why did he bother to reply?

    What did you write? Can you try to repost your comment by chance, I would love to see got got his mojo going.

  • Minyon

    OK,
    I think I am in over my depth here. I don’t know what this guy did to tick, you (“I’m assuming?) off. After reading your response (pasted below and copied to my local cache) I went looking, I figured guy named Douche gets banned lol should be good for a laugh.

    Apparently all posts removed? Usually happens for hateful behavior, or rancorous behavior. So I’ll be more specific.

    I don’t want to start engaging in this community only to find that heavy handed oversight effectively becomes a censor. I want to feel free to speak my mind even if you disagree with me. Can that happen here?

    I can appreciate that you must be pretty upset. Seems like this guy really got to you. Lol whatever though I just wanna know if this is a place I can chill.

    BTW. The IP address trick is a little heavy handed. I live in a complex where we all share a single outbound proxy. I.E. there are 60 computers right now with what would seem like the same ip address if they visited your site. If this guy visits anyone in that building. and you ban him based on that ip address, you have just effectively banned a building of potential fans on the spurious evidence of the real or imagined sins of a non resident.

    The sad thing is that its just for the sake of tech expedience. Your IT guys aren’t stupid most likely, so I can only think that identity management is just not at the top of their list of priorities.

    No big who likes big brother anyway. Your hostility does concern me though. Am I in the middle of an extraordinary circumstance or is thiss your usual affect?

    Bad ju ju if you are trying to foster community. So thats why I wanna know if this place will be a good use of my limited surfing time.

    Look forward to hearing from you.

  • Minyon

    That was it. No big deal I thought. What did this guy do to him. Oh BTW full disclosure, it was my own fault that the message got caught in filter. I asked if there had been some incidence of r@c1sm, h@t3 speech etc. i replaced that bit with rancorous and the message went through. I should have realized the filter would flag those words for intervention.