SCHULTZ CHOOSES OILERZ

It’s summer time in the OilersNation and we only know how to do that one way.

Big.

Worldwide Twitter traffic experienced a 0.0000035% bump this afternoon as Oilers fans from all over the world fretted and speculated about a 21 year old D man who has yet to play a single game in the NHL.

That don’t matter no way no how – not when the overall pride and self worth of a City was on the line as a Free Agent did the unthinkable and picked the Capital city of Alberta over all other destinations.

Now the 2011-12 winner of both the Spike Carlson MVP trophy and the Dr. Joseph Coyne Most Consistent player is ours, all ours. Now we just need to figure out who the hell he is and why we are all so excited.

POP QUIZ

As the biggest Justin Schultz fan in the entire world* we feel completely qualified to administer this test.

Which player among the Wisconsin Badgers shown above is our new collective hero?

Bit of an easy question if Mark Zengerle is your tight buddy or you have played backyard baseball with Joel Rumpel many a time but a head scratcher for the rest of us to be sure. Can you even pick him out of a lineup? It’s pretty hard all people living in Wisconsin look alike to us. But we do have a feeling that by Christmas we will all know who we are dealing with here.

Does this guy make the team right out of the gate? Who does he boot off the Oilers d-corps? Will the Nuge be confused by yet another new face in the dressing room?

The questions positively pour out of our brain through the keys on the board at the moment.

PROPS TO BIG GENE

Big ups to the nicest guy in the world for breaking the news of Schultz signing with the Oilers on twitter. In what was most certainly a 15 million way gunfight among the MSM Principe was the first on our feed to get it down on electronic paper:

Atta boy Gene!

HOW ABOUT THIS GUY?

 

Rumours abound that 99 called up the newest Oiler and made a pitch for him to join the team. You know if the Oilers are determined to throw bags of cash at Senior Management types, perhaps they could convince the Great One to work in some sort of capacity for any sum of money he can name?

When the Great One calls up a potential Oiler player and so much as breathes into the phone it adds a level of credibility to the pitch that is unrivaled. Though incalculably rich, this guy is currently without NHL affiliation. Kay-Z should try and remedy this.

AND SO

Welcome to Edmonton Justin Schultz. We have no idea really who you are or why we are all so excited but if you fall even a single centimetre short of our huge vague expectations for you expect a shipment of w-r-a-t-h to be delivered in bulk to your door.

*As of about 1 hour and 15 minutes ago

  • Max Powers - Team HME Evans

    I agree with Smokey, where’s edmonton sports radio when we need it?
    For those who are saying “hes a rookie, calm the #!u+ down! He might be the next matt gilroy!” I say..he played on the same team as Gardiner with and without him and put up better numbers, how can u not expect his game to translate to the NHL atleast as good?
    Even if he only maxes out as a 5th dman with PP quarterback capabilities on the second unit its a win for the oilers..great job tambo and oil management!

    Now please dont sign Suter to ten years 80 mill, he aint that good..Suter at 5.5 per ok..6 maybe but now we need a badass that plays smart yet a lil reckless on the blueline, I dont think Suter is one..(a badass that is)

  • Max Powers - Team HME Evans

    Also would like to add, I think oilers should do some kind of a conditional trade with the ducks..kinda as a thank you, or maybe they would take the offer as a slap in the face? Either way sux for the ducks(as it did for us when pronger left)…

  • justDOit

    This could be almost like winning the lottery for a SECOND time this year. Unbelievable. The Oilers could have two Calder nominees next season (but still won’t win it!).

    So Yak and Schultz are pretty much guaranteed roster spots. I’m more than comfortable with forfeiting some improvement in the standings this season to watch this team with two more first rounders on it. Will the Oiler faithful feel the same way? Or do you think that they can accomplish a significant improvement and ice a younger roster?

    And if it’s going to be one more year of a significant youth (and talent) infusion, do we include Klefbom on the roster as well? Looks like he has the skills, at least.

  • Abby Oil

    Very much looking forward to a wonderful Canada/FA Day! Regardless of tomorrows transactions, I am happy to be an Oilers Fan today! Born and bred Oil fan for the last 32 years and coming to you from Abbotsford British Columbia. A very short trek up the #1 from Rogers Arena!

  • Reg Dunlop

    If Gardiner was feeding passes to Hall, Ebs, RNH etc. with PP time he doubtless would have posted better numbers. Schultz, with similar skill, could easily out-do Gardiner 2011-12 numbers. But, the voice of reason Bob Mckenzie is preaching patience as Schultz is a raw rookie. The way he entered free agency, Schultz may have a target on his back but luckily the way Yak is, Schultz will be left alone while opponants chase Yak riding his stick after scoring. We better beef up soon to protect these guys or ON faithful may have to jump the boards at Rexall to intervene.

    • Quicksilver ballet

      Hahaha got my first laugh of the day reading your comment about yak riding the stick haha! Good stuff, but so true, oil must bulk up and In a BIG way..they need at least one big “mf’er” in the top six, another one in the btm six..on defence we need one super mf’er that can protect the kids after they over celebrate