SCHULTZ CHOOSES OILERZ

It’s summer time in the OilersNation and we only know how to do that one way.

Big.

Worldwide Twitter traffic experienced a 0.0000035% bump this afternoon as Oilers fans from all over the world fretted and speculated about a 21 year old D man who has yet to play a single game in the NHL.

That don’t matter no way no how – not when the overall pride and self worth of a City was on the line as a Free Agent did the unthinkable and picked the Capital city of Alberta over all other destinations.

Now the 2011-12 winner of both the Spike Carlson MVP trophy and the Dr. Joseph Coyne Most Consistent player is ours, all ours. Now we just need to figure out who the hell he is and why we are all so excited.

POP QUIZ

As the biggest Justin Schultz fan in the entire world* we feel completely qualified to administer this test.

Which player among the Wisconsin Badgers shown above is our new collective hero?

Bit of an easy question if Mark Zengerle is your tight buddy or you have played backyard baseball with Joel Rumpel many a time but a head scratcher for the rest of us to be sure. Can you even pick him out of a lineup? It’s pretty hard all people living in Wisconsin look alike to us. But we do have a feeling that by Christmas we will all know who we are dealing with here.

Does this guy make the team right out of the gate? Who does he boot off the Oilers d-corps? Will the Nuge be confused by yet another new face in the dressing room?

The questions positively pour out of our brain through the keys on the board at the moment.

PROPS TO BIG GENE

Big ups to the nicest guy in the world for breaking the news of Schultz signing with the Oilers on twitter. In what was most certainly a 15 million way gunfight among the MSM Principe was the first on our feed to get it down on electronic paper:

Atta boy Gene!

HOW ABOUT THIS GUY?

 

Rumours abound that 99 called up the newest Oiler and made a pitch for him to join the team. You know if the Oilers are determined to throw bags of cash at Senior Management types, perhaps they could convince the Great One to work in some sort of capacity for any sum of money he can name?

When the Great One calls up a potential Oiler player and so much as breathes into the phone it adds a level of credibility to the pitch that is unrivaled. Though incalculably rich, this guy is currently without NHL affiliation. Kay-Z should try and remedy this.

AND SO

Welcome to Edmonton Justin Schultz. We have no idea really who you are or why we are all so excited but if you fall even a single centimetre short of our huge vague expectations for you expect a shipment of w-r-a-t-h to be delivered in bulk to your door.

*As of about 1 hour and 15 minutes ago