GDB 21.0: A NON WILD AFFAIR

Rest assured a game against the Minnesota Wild will be anything but a wild affair. The team plays a defensive style so boring the Pentagon is looking to develop a way to weaponize it and bring it into battle. "Project: Lethal Boredom"  is expected to be a fully functional option in the aresenal of freedom within a decade.

Boring or not the Oil are going to have to figure something out and walk away with some points tonight as this lockout shortened season is already hanging in the balance. The Wild sit comfortably in 10th place in the Western Conference at 10-8-2 and our upstart Oilers are temporarily in 12th place at 8-8-4 and looking to rocket up the charts.

The Oil are going to have to find a way to win without the services of Taylor Hall, who is still feeling the effects from a sore hamstring injury suffered last game agsint the Blues. Says Coach Krueger, "Taylor is still feeling a strain that we want to err to the cautious side. This type of injury, we can give him four days of rest as opposed to forcing him in today. He’s day-to-day but we expect him back very soon."

Which also means we can scratch "watch Hall hammer Clutterbuck to show he ain’t afraid" off the OilersNation Game Bingo Cards for tonight.

LINEUP

According to Jason Gregor who texted me "here are the lines in advance so you don’t screw it all up like you did last game" these are the non-screwed up lines for today.

F

91-89-14

64-93-83

94-20-28

55-54-37

D

5-2

15-19

6-24

Starting goalies have not yet been announced.

PREDICTIONS

GAME DAY PREDICTION: Despite the Wilds’ ability to smother teams with a blanket of defence before sending them into a 90 minute coma we have a feeling the Oil will wiggle free and find a way to win 4-2. Two goals by the J Leslie Eberle collection (naturally) a J. Schultz special from the point and a Ryan Jones garbage goal will make up the offense for the good guys.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Cal Clutterbuck comes flying off the bench midway through the first period looking for revenge on Taylor Hall for giving him a charlie horse last time these two teams faced off.

"DERP WHERE TAYLOR HALL AT?" the cro magnonian man will scream whilst awkwardly lumbering around the ice. After being told Hall is already out with an injury Clutterbuck will confusedly cross check himself from behind into the boards. Minnesota fans will quietly applaud before rolling over and going back to sleep in the stands.

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION:  Wild fans – who have inexplicably paid to watch Minnesota Wild hockey for years now – will see what exciting hockey looks like for a few brief flashes tonight. "What was that? An end to end rush?" they will whisper to each other in the seats. "Where is the dump and chase? Where is the neutral zone trap? This isn’t hockey!"

Wild GM Chuck Fletcher will be forced to address the fans at the end of the first period on the scoreboard. "We realize that you have seen some tic-tac-toe passing and one time top cheddar goals from the Oilers tonight. As the General Manager of the Wild I can assure you that the Oilers will be gone shortly after the game and we are committed to returning to the 1-0 hockey Minnesota fans deserve."

  • Alsker

    Embarrassing, Insulting, disgusting,no heart no guts no nothing, but hey Klowe put this team together in his image of heart, soul and ability right, we challenged nowhere but to get onto the bench. Not sure if i feel worse for us Oil fans or the people in Minny who paid good money for that crap.Think its time for batman to flap his wings and clean house!!

  • Wax Man Riley

    This team does not deserve to be wearing the oilers logo. Zero pride. If trades aren’t made this is gonna be a long season. I pray too god they fire somebody this week . This is an embarrassment to the game . We don’t deserve another draft pick again. might have to throw this jersey in the closet for the year and get a blue jays jersey.lol

  • For the love of god will someone please tell cheds play by play announcer that 20 points in 20 games IS NOT playing .500.

    With the loser point – based on last year’s data – .500 which means winning half of the avg points earned per game is 1.12 points per game or 92 in a regular season. Thus at 21 games played and twenty points earned the oil is playing .424 hockey.

    They suck in other words. And have for a while now.

  • The poster formerly known as Koolaid drinker #33

    Whoever fixes this team (gm, coach, new player(s)), will be officially known as Viagra to me.

    Watching the Oil is like having ED. No matter how much you want it and no matter how promising it may sometimes look, you still can’t get a freakin’ boner.

  • Slapshot

    The end result is that the Wild win again. No excuses. Not enough pucks in the net. Backstrom is the best goalie in the western conference.He does not get the love because he plays in Minny. The guy is a freak.He is just so solid. There just does not seem to be a lot of flaws in his game. Tough to win when the other guy makes only one mistake or two(Suters own goal). You could put 70 shots at Backstrom and he’d probably still only let 1 in. I wish we had a goalie that good.DD is not even in the same ballpark as Backstrom. Move on to Columbus.Detroit. Does not get any easier. A lottery pick is looking more like a reality. I still think we wind up 26th.The price to be paid for our guys learning to play first line minutes against the big boys the other teams have.

  • Slapshot

    Tambellini has fired how many head coaches? It’s time he get’s fired and they bring in a real GM who can build a winner,until then get used to ELPHA because that’s all Tambellini and Lowe have been good for these past few years!!!

  • Alsker

    There was a time mediocrity was excepted “we couldnt afford a real team” but that time has passed and so the team culture has changed(yes),coaching staff(yes),trainers(yes),scouts(yes),ownership(yes),gm(yes), well whats left?? Hmm a hard working guy with the last name Moss and …oh ya the guy in charge…..need I say more

  • Alsker

    Don’t say anyone will be better than their precious nuge dsf. Stauffer says he’ll be a too 10 forward in the league so it must be true !! Doesn’t matter how soft he is! Bottom line is this team sucks

  • Gilmore Tuttle

    Stink, stank, stunk.

    Don’t know which I believe more – that the Oilers have had a consecutive sell out streak over the past years or that they are in the first year of the “rebuild” – for the 10 consecutive season.

  • Sammy

    “The Edmonton Oilers, are proud to select, first overall, Jonathan Drouin. He’s 5 ft 11, 176 lbs, and we think he will fit in well to the small, noncompetitive roster we have assembled, and we are looking forward to drafting in the top five next year.Man, this is an easy job!”

  • DSF

    Wild 4 Oil 2

    0 shots in the 2nd

    “They didn’t lie down and completely die…” – Coach

    Time for this team to hit the trenches. Dig in boys.

    This is a young team. Green. Some pieces missing. But, I hear what the coach is sayin’.