The day is finally here. Shea Weber can officially be traded. OMG.
I’m sure Craig MacTavish had a reminder in his phone to call David Poile this morning.
And the conversation went something like this….**
MacT: David, my man, what is happening. You been to Tootsies lately?
Poile: MacT, things are well. I only go to Tootsies during the season. I like to interact with the fans.
MacT: Smart. I just go to the bar outside our dressing room at Rexall. Some nights I need a beer just to watch our games…Anyways… I was thinking we should talk about a Weber deal.
Poile: Are you serious?
MacT: I’ve received loads of emails from fans outlining what it would take, so I want you to hear them. I’ve had a tough summer.
Poile: Awesome. I love fan proposals. Usually they are very fair.
MacT: How about Nick Schultz, Ales Hemsky, a 2014 first rounder and Linus Omark. He’s the best forward not in the NHL.
Poile: Good one. I’ll take two guys with one year remaining on their deals, and a guy who is great in shootouts. My fans would love it. I think my owner would be even happier. He’s paid Weber $27 million for 48 games. I’m sure he wants to sell low now. You got any other offers, I need a good laugh.
MacT: You bet. My inbox had lots, plus when I listen to Gregor’s show I hear some beauties from callers and texters.
Poile: One day I’d love to announce one of those trades. Just for fun. Too bad you can’t make trades on April Fools Day.
MacT: Okay…how about this one… (laughs)… Jeff Petry, Ales Hemsky, Teemu Hartikainen, he was just invited to Finland’s Olympic camp, Marc Arcobello, he’s a skilled forward, and Omark, the best player not in…(bursts out laughing)… Sorry I can’t even finish that statement. Best player not in NHL…Have any of those guys ever panned out.
Poile: Don’t get me started. F*&*(#)* Radulov. They should have called him best floater not in the NHL. You thought Penner was a floater, hell, at least Penner had a pulse, a sense of a humour and he’d fill up on pancakes in the morning. Radulov loved vodka and late night clubs. That prick would booze it up in the playoffs. Now I’m annoyed. Any proposals that don’t involve me bending over and holding my feet?
Mact: I love hearing you get riled up. I guess Pens wasn’t that bad after all, and he is funny.
Poile: I’m going to go on a fanboard site and say you like him and tried to sign him.
MacT: Screw you, I had some people in Edmonton actually think he’d be a good fit for our team. So… honestly what will it take to get Weber.
Poile: I’ve paid him $27 million the past 12 months for 48 (*$&#()@ games. I’d need a lot. I’d need one of Hall, Eberle or Yakupov, and then Gagner plus something else. My fans are rabid, but after Weber, Rinne and Mr. Underwood they couldn’t name two players. I need offence, and you have a lot of it. You pick which winger to give me along with Gagner and your 2014 first rounder…
MacT: That is steep. Can’t do it.
Poile: How about I take Omark in the deal.
MacT: I can’t give you one of those kids, Gagner AND Omark. The fans would revolt. Most believe he could be the main piece in the Weber deal. Good grief Dave, wake up.
Poile: (laughs)… Now you’re fired up…So one of the kids and Gagner is a no go?
MacT: Will you throw in Rinne with Weber?
Poile: We’re done. See you in late November….I’ll take you to Tootsies. I have a VIP table. Do me a favour and bring some of those emails, I’ll likely need a good chuckle.
**This was not an actual conversation…Well, we can’t confirm that it was…**