AS TIME GOES BY

It’s at this point in the NHL season that Oilers fans make a decision about how we are going to pass the time for the remaining 6 weeks of the season. Early excitement and God given right to unreasonable optimism has created a black diamond rated slide into misery and if it hasn’t arrived already it is certainly on the horizon as seen in the scientific graph above.

In seasons past this was a crappy team that lived up to its billing as being crap. They knew it, we all knew it deep down in our hearts. Games were lost, tears were shed and the most dithering General Manager in sport was lauded for his ability to stand idly by while the team continued to suffer.

Now it is an entirely different beast. This is now a very good team that has some obvious holes that need filling* They know it, we all know it. Everyone with a functioning brain steam and pair of occular units knows it. Except the same hilarious front office who sit around wondering when the arena will find an additional 114 million dollars and not much else. And trading for Mike Brown doesn’t count.

It’s getting pretty old isn’t it? As we see it most Oilers fans have one of three moves at this point, assuming hope is fading faster than the tan of the lady in your office who came home from Mexico two weeks ago and is still clinging to the dream** This season certainly isn’t lost yet and we will cling to the dream until Willis and his math slam the coffin door closed with a depressing annual thud.

DISAPPOINTMENT SHE WROTE

You choose to be disappointed. This is always a popular option among Oilers fans at this juncture of the season. "I really thought this was the year" the thinking goes "surely to goodness they could be higher than (wherever they may sit) what with (insert good players) in the lineup and (insert hot Oiler) playing so well."

The list of good players continues to pile up to the rafters this season and for some this makes things all the more disappointing. People who choose disappointment often turn off the games early from here on out and start cleaning the winter dust off their golf clubs in about 2 weeks.

FRUSTRATION SHE WROTE

You choose to be frustrated. People who go this route are often a source of great amusement to us all in the comments on the site and on twitter. They can often be observed having 5 alarm meltdowns of rage and suggesting things like "Lets all burn our Oilers jerseys in a big pile and get the news helicopter to film it! I know a guy with over 1,000 facebook friends he can get the word out quick!"

As the Oilers lineup continues to stock pile the best young lineup in over 20 years frustration is starting to take the pole position as the emotion of choice among Oilers fans. Watching the team gas one against Minny with NARY A SHOT IN THE SECOND FRAME can make the blood boil real nice don’t it?

RESIGNATION SHE WROTE

You can resign yourself that this is the Oilers fate in life and that it also somehow reflects the continued failure of everyone who lives within 1000 miles of Edmonton. We see this all the time too with people saying things like "the Oilers suck, everyone sucks, there is a pothole the size of Delaware outside my house etc etc etc"

We are of the mind that this is the cowards way out of things. We believe that there is absolutely no reason that the Oilers can’t address their needs starting today and put together a supporting cast capable of making the Oil a nasty team to play against that may not get any shots in the second against Minny BUT BY THUNDER SOMEONE GONNA GET HURT REAL BAD.

But there is lots and lots of time to talk about what the Oilers are going to need to do.

WHAT YOU GON DO?

We have decided to do what we always do when the Oilers break our hearts: leave. Leave and lick our wounds. And lick limes with tequila shots somewhere people don’t have the foggiest idea of what an Oilers is or how they didn’t get A SINGLE SHOT IN THE SECOND AGAINST MINNY.

We depart for Iceland in less than 2 weeks. We aren’t kidding. And as usual we will be bringing twitter with us the entire time and have also just signed up for Instagram. Because its 2011 and we just heard of it. Give us a follow: wanyegretz.

*That’s what she said

**Not actual lady

  • Time Travelling Sean

    What happens when we beat a team 5-1 again? Are the good feelings back on? We play Columbus tomorrow, isn’t that any good????? What if we win 2 in a row?????????? IS THE SEASON LOST THEN??

  • Eulers

    Well, how did the ON 5-year party go? Anybody get anywhere with the celebrity babe? And would Wanye hit on her or J Leslie Eberle if he could only choose one?

  • Rob...

    I’ll stay on the bandwagon. My homer coloured goggles saw a lot of raised elbow head shots being delivered by the Wild in the first period with nary a call resulting. By the second period, the under powered Oilers didn’t have the tools in the tool chest to respond, never mind that if they dared respond in kind it would have resulted in 5, a game and be followed by a two game Shanaban.

    • Now is the best time to get the primo spots on the bandwagon. I for one have a seat in the front near teacher and I can see out the window and wave at other cars when we stop at lights.

      DERP DERP DERP

      • cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan

        im in the back row with the dirty girls!*

        *actually front row with the kid who chews on the seat and has ovenmitts on his hands so he stops picking his nose

        • The poster formerly known as Koolaid drinker #33

          I’ sit beside the weird kid that pulls his pants and underpants all the way down to his ankles every time he has to pee. It is roomier in here lately though.

  • vetinari

    I don’t know why everyone is complaining about
    the Oilers lack of offence in the 2nd period, As I saw the Oilers were totally offensive the entire period.

  • Rob...

    Iceland is a great time, I was there a couple years ago around this time… it’s weird seeing them not really celebrate St Patricks day, yet stay out till 5-6 am drinking.

    Enjoy some TOPAS

  • vetinari

    So for realzies, why the hell cant they play the kids against the 3rd and 4th lines, line matching as they did last year. The excuses I’ve heard are that they need to learn how to play the big linesand work one their defensice game. Why? Thats why you have experienced 3rd lines, horcoff, smyth (to some extent) jones etc or the more experienced 2nd line. I’d rather teach my young guns how to win and score against lesser competition, then throw them into the frying pan and show them whats its like to get beaten every game. They aren’t ready for the big first lines yet, we have proven it this year time and time again. You can’t match up lines every shift. BUT PUT SOME FREAKING EFFORT INTO IT. PS The “for realzies” comment was just a sad cry for attention.

  • vetinari

    Here is a list of the teams this year that had more shots against Minny in the second period than the Oil did last night: EVERYONE!

    Oilers– look how bad you are! The lady in the three photos above is the only Ice Girl that we can land who is willing to be seen in public next to you at this moment. Another game like last night and the Ice Girls will soon be just lipstick smeared on Tambellini’s left hand.

  • Also, getting back to the topic at hand, someone please explain to me just how in the name of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Eberle that Steve Tambicakes still has a job. I’m hard-pressed to find an NHL GM that’s been more ineffective and less of an overall blundering idiot than him since his reign of terror started.

    • You’re idolizing man and not looking hard enough.

      Eberle can’t even save the sorry Oilers, there isn’t much he can do for you. There exists only one reality and billions of perceptions. My perception of the NHL GMs’ reality is that none of them do very much through out the course of the season to improve or change their teams around for the better.

      NHL is a bigger joke than the hopes of an Oiler fan. The league is full of GMs, players and referees that don’t do enough to deserve and keep their jobs.

      Name me a few of these GMs that are doing a hell of a better job than ST, please. Try to include the moves they made that made you put them in that light.

      • vetinari

        Thank you. It is honestly hard to believe that some people on here think Tambo is some kind of idiot because he has not made any trades like ” Cory Potter and a 4th round pick for Datsyuk”.No one trades players for someone else’s garbage. I don’t think there has been one trade this year that I thought “Tambo” missed out on.
        the apparent lack of brain cells in the comment section is disturbing!

        • vetinari

          Most of us don’t think Tambo is a mediocre GM because of the lack of trades this year. It is taking his body of work over his tenure which includes hiring 3 different coaches and finishing dead last or next to dead last in the past 3 seasons.

          We can all be patient for a little while, but the Oilers are in 14th place in the Western Conference this morning. Eventually, don’t you have to start holding management accountable for the lack of improvement in the standings?

  • A-Mc

    The Oiler game last night cut me. Deep.
    It kicked me in the pills so hard that i haven’t an ounce of fight left in me.

    My feelings are hurt and only pitchers of beer are going to make it better.

    Congrats Oilers, You’ve driven me to Curling. I’m going to be drinking away my Oiler woes while attending the Brier sporadically through out the week.

    Even the Alberta Curling team would get more shots vs minny than the Oilers… *sad panda*

  • I am dissapointed in at least the lack of effort to add a replacement for Horcoff. I thought the team would compete for the fial spot……and if your in the running….you never know.

    We are looking a lot like we have a shot at our 4th 1st overall in a row. Would that get us in the record books?

  • The Oilers Shot Clock

    Iceland? I’m down for a vacation. I don’t even need to use up any vacation days. I’ll just get either the goal lite or the horn to sign in for me everyday. It’s cool, no one will notice.

  • If your trip to “Iceland” (LOL like that’s even a real place) doesn’t include an Amsterdam stopover then I don’t want to hear about it.

    Also, I really want to know what Angela Lansbury photo you would have chosen for my preferred response to OilerSuckitude2013: “Drunken Impotent Rage She Wrote.”