GDB 36.0: FEASTER AND FAMINE

While the Flames shipped out Jarome Iginla and Jay Bouwmeester and replaced them with prospects that Barry Fraser wouldn’t draft, the Oilers skate into the Saddledome ready to show Flames fans what six years of sucking can do for you.

The Flames haven’t won a playoff series since 2004, the Oilers have won three since then, and in 24 days the Phlegms will be out of the playoffs for the 4th straight year. Make no mistake the last seven years have been brutal for Oilers fans, but at least they have something to show for their loyalty. The Oilers seven-year drought produced Taylor Hall, Jordan Eberle, Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, Nail Yakupov, Magnus Paajarvi and Sam Gagner.

The Flames’ plunge into suckville has garnered them first rounders like: Mikael Backlund (softer than oleo), Greg Nemisz (4th liner in AHL), Tim Erixon (oops, he wouldn’t sign in your dump of a city), _______ (didn’t have 1st or 2nd round pick when missing 2010 playoffs), Sven Baertschi (solid potential 2nd liner) and Mark Jankowski (say it slowly, Stanstead College in Quebec).

Rob Schremp and Marc Pouliot had a brighter future.

Most Oilers fans won’t poke that much fun at Calgary, okay one might in a few paragraphs, mainly because Edmontonians doesn’t possess the inferiority complex that exists in Calgary. Oiler fans won’t need to say, "At least we finished higher in the standings than you," which was the rallying cry in Calgary the last three years.

Think about that for a second.

Your team never made the playoffs, in fact they "Choked" every year in the final ten games. For the past three years, the Flames were close to the playoffs with ten games to go, and in those combined 30 games, you won a paltry 12. You averaged 4 wins in the final 10 games of the season in your annual push-to-the-playoffs-only-to-fail-and-not-get-a-top-ten-pick.

The only thing more inept than Steve Tambellini’s summer free agent signings, is the Flames management in February and March and the Flames play on the ice in March and April.

Which leads us to tonight…

The Oilers and their fans head into this game knowing they will win, which is exactly how the Flames and their fans have felt the last three years. It won’t be much of a battle, considering the Flames most effective forward these days is Brian McGrattan.

The Flames got a better return for Joe Piskula than they have for Jarome Iginla and Jay Bouwmeester. At least McGrattan is on your team and contributing. Top-notch GMing by Feaster and company.

  • Hall/Nugent-Hopkins/Eberle
  • Paajarvi/Gagner/Hemsky
  • Jones/Horcoff/Yakupov
  • Brown/Smyth/Petrell
  • Smid/Petry
  • N.Schultz/J.Schultz
  • Whitney/Potter
  • Dubnyk

The Flames will counter with a lineup that would battle stage an epic battle with the 2010 Oilers:

GAME DAY PREDICTION: Oilers win their 5th straight with an easy 4-2 win. The Oilers top line has combined for 19 points in the last four games and they will register six tonight.

OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: Many in Calgary will claim, "Awesome deal, getting something (5th rounder) for Blake Comeau." Get used to saying this Flames fans, as you enter into the phase where you think every draft pick will pan out eventually.

NOT-SO-OBVIOUS GAME DAY PREDICTION: After he admitted Monday night that he hadn’t been, "intellectually honest about his team," Jay Feaster announces during the 2nd period intermission that the Flames will indeed be a playoff contender next year. "Mikka Kiprusoff begged me not to trade him today. He’s committed to winning and we will sign him to an extension in the summer.

"Also, now that Jarome Iginla, who secretly always preferred his hometown over Calgary, is gone our core guys will flourish. Want to wager on where we finish relative to Edmonton next year? I’ll tell you very honestly. I’m getting a little sour. How many teams . . . every year, for the last 10 years, five years, eight years, have finished in the bottom five, bottom seven, bottom 10? They’ve had a pick anywhere from No. 1 to No. 10 year after year after year after year, and they still wander in the desert. And they’re no closer to getting out than they were 10 years ago. We are still positioned better than the Oilers," screams Feaster. 

Good times…

***UPDATE...Turns out the NSOGDB wasn’t that far off… An actual quote from Jay Feaster today…"Murray Edwards (Flames majority owner)  told me last evening that he expects us to be in the playoffs next year." You can’t make this up. Wow, Edwards is delusional if he believes that. 

AND NOW A WORD FROM A DIEHARD OILER FAN

Jeanshorts runs the Oilersnation twitter and when he heard I was writing this GDB he begged me to let him write a quite blurb on behalf of all Oilers fans… so here goes… 

Oh, Calgary…

Where do we even begin? 

You’re like the Springfield Tire Yard of the NHL; You’re ugly, can be smelled in 46 states (and 10 provinces) and you’re nothing but a humungous pile of burning rubble at this point.  

If this is what Jay Fester considers "retooling" then dear god DO NOT let him near your car. It’d be like Pimp My Ride if instead of putting TV’s and a new engine in they blew the car up and told you to "never speak of this again!" 

Although, it’s not like we should really be surprised that Feaster buttfumbled BOTH the Iginla and Bouwmeester trades. We’ve all seen Spaceballs; it’s only a matter of time until he accidentally locks himself in a limousine and eats himself to death. 

But hey, it’s not all no-name prospects and crying into your cousins breasts in Cowtown. I mean, at least your leading goal scorer isn’t former Oiler 4th liner Curtis Glencross. 

And it’s not like you’re relying on a guy who hasn’t played an NHL game in 4 years and only has 11 career wins to be your number one goalie next season.

Or that your hot-shot first round pick flamed out (PUN INTENDED) with only one assist in his 10-game stint. 

Or that you traded away two of your marquee players and somehow wound up with an even worse prospect pool than you started with, which was already one of the worst in the league. 

Actually, basically all that’s left is for Murray Edwards to sign Feaster to a five year extension and you’ll be set!  

 You know what, this is typical Calgary. First you steal all our business headquarters and now you have the audacity to steal the title of "Most Comically Inept Run Team In The National Hockey League"? THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS! 

Unfortunately Calgary looks like they’ll be rewarded for this absolute atrocity of a season with a top-three pick. The good thing is that with their recent draft history the nation of Bosnia will be able to celebrate their country’s first ever draft pick as the Flames select their top high school player Ahmed Mujo (56GP-0G-0A). 

We fully believe in Karma and things coming full circle. Flames fans, and management, have been ripping the Oilers futility hard for the last 4 years. I hope you brought a flashlight, sleeping bag and foamy Calgary, because the basement is dark, damp and it smells like Jerry Sandusky’s rec room. Payback’s a bitch and this one’s going to hurt. A lot. 

Tell your hot cousin I said what’s up. 

"They’re ALL my hot cousin!" – Guy from Calgary

Love, Oilersnation

 RECENTLY BY JASON GREGOR

  • Craig MacTambeloweni

    Yak city dominating that squad of cowgirls is always good, and spanking the canucks (again) shouldn’t be a problem just because hallsy has been in beast mode lately. Two or three more games like that and he will lead the nhl in points. Also I heard flames central in calgary is a gay bar

  • Franko J

    Sorry one more thing.

    The Flames fans are the one who were truly beaten down. They should be asking for a refund. The players on the Flames who played on the ice tonight showed no professionalism. The Oilers deserved the win hands down. I understand that this team is going through a tough time, but what I cannot tolerate as a fan is watching a team that doesn’t exemplify pride. Most importantly after going up 2-0, there is no excuse when this team again is so easily satisfied with marginal effort.

    This team may lack talent, but I hate watching players who give up. I work hard to make a living and when I see what I saw on the ice tonight was total unacceptable. At this point in time why would I want to support a team where they could care less about the fan.

    • Rocket

      You really nailed it there.

      Not protecting a lead, underachieving, fan apathy.

      All things Oilers fans have had to deal with for a while. Welcome to mediocrity, it sucks.

      It will hurt for a while but don’t give up those season tickets yet.

  • Franko J

    @ Buttonpusher

    It takes a couple kids from Calgary to turn your lacklustre and simply droll team from their last 6 seasons of pathetic performance.

    You know I like watching the Oilers play and I really like watching Eberle and Hall play, but I never in the past few seasons I have ever said anything negative towards the Oilers, so if you want to rip our franchise look into the mirror first.

  • Franko J

    @ The Soup Facist

    Now it is your turn to have the same success with Eberle and Hall.
    Oh by the way, it wasn’t 10 years, more like 16 years.
    The point I was implying is that the hockey Gods sure have an interesting way of balancing things out. There is no denying that the Flames enjoyed many great games and memories from Iginla, but I always found he played some of his best games against the Oilers. I see the same thing from both Eberle and Hall when it comes to playing against the Flames.

    I hope for your sake that both Eberle and Hall can lead your team to the cup.
    Because the guy from St. Albert couldn’t do that for the Flames.

    • The Soup Fascist

      Yeah that Iginla guy should have tried a little harder. But we gave you guys J Bo too and he is a proven playoff perf ……. whoops, scratch that.

      Not to look a “gift horse in the mouth” or anything and I get where Hall was born and where Ebs’ parents live, but honestly they count themselves as a proud Kingstoner and Reginaite …. um ….. Reginaer …….. no that cant be right …… Reginonian…….. er …. person from the city that rhymes with “fun”, respectively.

      But um, thanks for those two guys, …… I suppose.

  • What’s interesting in a cuddle-myself-and-giggle sort of way is the way the coaches of Vancouver and Calgary have responded in their post-game press conferences. (Apologies I do not have links, but I’m sure Google is your friend here)

    Basically, in both cases, they’ve stood there with shock on their faces, and saying “We had no response, we couldn’t compete, they are too good for us to handle.”

    Man, I hope this all is just a prelude to something awesome and not just premature celebrating – although that happens to us all now and then, and is nothing to be ashamed of – but isn’t it starting to seem that they are playing as a team.

    Anyway, with a tip of the hat to listeners of John Short back in the day, long time lurker, first time poster.

    Go Oil!
    #eatsh!tflames

  • geeker99

    was at the game tonight. oil fan living in calgary so i have taken my share of abuse. all i have to say is 3 1st rounders coming. if you have the leadership it will turn around quickly. the kids on the oil have been the best players way too long and are becoming men. your fans i was sitting by tonight were world class and know it’s tough sledding. I want 80’s battles for me and my boy to enjoy. i have to admit i enjoyed tonight and don’t lose interest in your club. head up

  • stretch14

    You know whats even better thna going to bed knowing we beat Calgary 8-2? Getting up and knowing that we beat Calgary 8-2. Its like Christmas. You just can’t get enough of that feeling of joy. And tonight we get to fly into Vancouver and hand the Nucks a little of their medicine back to the Sedin Sisters. Edmonton 5 Nucks 1.

  • Old Retired Guy (A.K.A. Die-Nasty)

    WOW! This is EPIC! a 500 post chain to ring in the new era in Alberta!

    Someone should print this chain of comments and put it in a time capsule not to be opened until 2020 or, until the Oilers win their 10th Stanley Cup…whichever comes first!

  • geoilersgist

    Gordie Howe hat trick for Whitney. A couple Yak goals like we are expecting. Good game by the Oilers.

    It was against Calgary, so as good as it feels kicking their butts – and now that that’s over, the next big test is against the Canucks. I expect it might be a tougher contest. They’re more of a NHL Caliber team.

  • Spydyr

    So 489 posts and counting and was expecting 417 involving DSF.Then not a one,Guess he fell into a bottle of scotch after the Jerred Smithson trade.

    Talk about a fair weather Troll.

  • geoilersgist

    Anyone that says they still think Whitney should have been traded needs a good swift kick in the arse. What a game that was. Keep the train a rolling boys

  • The Soup Fascist

    Gregor,
    Why is Jarome wearing Yankee pinstriped baseball pants in the photo accompanying this article? I can’t put my finger on it but I am not sure everything is kosher with this picture.

    • The Soup Fascist

      I don’t really want a response to the question above, I am just doing my bit to try to hit 500 messages responding to your GDB. I know how douchey it is to reply to my own message but I figured it was for a good cause.

      • Gitagrip

        TFS your logic is sound and shared by a Kool-Aide drinking, unabashed homer like myself. I was at the Daytona 500 this year and it was pretty cool. 500 here would be sick as well.
        Who’s with us???

  • Captain Ron

    Lets see how well the Oilers do tonight against a real team with with an NHL defence and better than below replacement level goaltending.

    Now just two more to go for the big 5 0 0

  • O.C.

    Seriously, we can’t leave this thread at less than 500 posts.

    Memo to Calgary. We empathize with your pain. If it smooths the hurt at all, Oil fans have fun with Flames fan with the rivalry. Vancouver bandwagon riders er fans are just annoying.

    Ask the majority of “fans” in Vancouver to name three players who aren’t a goalie or Swedish and you get a blank stare more often than not.