A TRADE PROPOSERS DREAM…

The day is finally here. Shea Weber can officially be traded. OMG.

I’m sure Craig MacTavish had a reminder in his phone to call David Poile this morning.

And the conversation went something like this….**

MacT: David, my man, what is happening. You been to Tootsies lately?

Poile: MacT, things are well. I only go to Tootsies during the season. I like to interact with the fans.

MacT: Smart. I just go to the bar outside our dressing room at Rexall. Some nights I need a beer just to watch our games…Anyways… I was thinking we should talk about a Weber deal.

Poile: Are you serious?

MacT: I’ve received loads of emails from fans outlining what it would take, so I want you to hear them. I’ve had a tough summer.

Poile: Awesome. I love fan proposals. Usually they are very fair.

MacT: How about Nick Schultz, Ales Hemsky, a 2014 first rounder and Linus Omark. He’s the best forward not in the NHL.

Poile: Good one. I’ll take two guys with one year remaining on their deals, and a guy who is great in shootouts. My fans would love it. I think my owner would be even happier. He’s paid Weber $27 million for 48  games. I’m sure he wants to sell low now. You got any other offers, I need a good laugh.

MacT: You bet. My inbox had lots, plus when I listen to Gregor’s show I hear some beauties from callers and texters.

Poile: One day I’d love to announce one of those trades. Just for fun. Too bad you can’t make trades on April Fools Day.

MacT: Okay…how about this one… (laughs)… Jeff Petry, Ales Hemsky, Teemu Hartikainen, he was just invited to Finland’s Olympic camp, Marc Arcobello, he’s a skilled forward, and Omark, the best player not in…(bursts out laughing)… Sorry I can’t even finish that statement. Best player not in NHL…Have any of those guys ever panned out.

Poile: Don’t get me started. F*&*(#)* Radulov. They should have called him best floater not in the NHL. You thought Penner was a floater, hell, at least Penner had a pulse, a sense of a humour and he’d fill up on pancakes in the morning. Radulov loved vodka and late night clubs. That prick would booze it up in the playoffs. Now I’m annoyed. Any proposals that don’t involve me bending over and holding my feet?

Mact: I love hearing you get riled up. I guess Pens wasn’t that bad after all, and he is funny.

Poile: I’m going to go on a fanboard site and say you like him and tried to sign him.

MacT: Screw you, I had some people in Edmonton actually think he’d be a good fit for our team. So… honestly what will it take to get Weber.

Poile: I’ve paid him $27 million the past 12 months for 48 (*$&#()@ games. I’d need a lot. I’d need one of Hall, Eberle or Yakupov, and then Gagner plus something else. My fans are rabid, but after Weber, Rinne and Mr. Underwood they couldn’t name two players. I need offence, and you have a lot of it. You pick which winger to give me along with Gagner and your 2014 first rounder…

MacT: That is steep. Can’t do it.

Poile: How about I take Omark in the deal.

MacT: I can’t give you one of those kids, Gagner AND Omark. The fans would revolt. Most believe he could be the main piece in the Weber deal. Good grief Dave, wake up.

Poile: (laughs)… Now you’re fired up…So one of the kids and Gagner is a no go?

MacT: Will you throw in Rinne with Weber?

Poile: We’re done. See you in late November….I’ll take you to Tootsies. I have a VIP table. Do me a favour and bring some of those emails, I’ll likely need a good chuckle.

**This was not an actual conversation…Well, we can’t confirm that it was…**

RECENTLY BY JASON GREGOR 

 

  • nvan97

    Weber wouldn’t command 1 of the big four. Look at virtually every single star traded in the last 15 years. Almost always involves a good prospect, an underperforming player with good potential and a solid first line, first pairing type of guy. See: Hossa ’06, Pronger ’05, Pronger ’06, Richards ’08, Luongo ’06. When you trade the star you rarely get a star back.

  • The Soup Fascist

    Yes please be better, Gregor. I would have preferred if you had broken down the rel Corsi of top 6 NHL forwards under the age of 26, who were born on a Wednesday.

    That would be far more entertaining than a fine satirical piece that pokes a little fun at all of us armchair GMs.

    Signed, Almost no one.

    • OilersBrass

      Oh, it was plenty funny, in a “look how stupid my listeners are” kind of way.

      My assumption is media types, be it MSM, bloggers, whoever, all share the common goal of getting more viewer/listener-ship, as it were.

      Now say I am your favorite blogger, and I say anyone who uses quotation marks in a comment is mentally retarded. Why in the hell would you read my articles, if I think of you as less than me, and use my position in the media/blogosphere to berate you.

      Rule in business, don’t purposefully piss off your customers.

      • French Toast Mafia

        Can’t please all the idiots…

        You would suggest sugercoating everything that a caller ever says and saying that a great trade idea when it’s out to lunch.

        Callers, bloggers, whoever, have a freedom of speech to talk about and suggest anything they want. However, they don’t get to say anything they want without being ridiculed or told that their ideas are stupid if in fact they are.

        If you don’t like being called stupid when you say inaccurate or off the wall things then don’t say them or go read a different blog.

        • geoilersgist

          This is where I feel my point is being missed.

          Please, gladly, call someone on their BS. If someone calls 1260 and proposes a dumb trade, here is what I would love to hear

          “thanks for the call, ________, but no GM would realistically make THAT trade…. what it would take would likely be _________” ….and so on.

          As a host, or blogger, if you don’t want to hear ridiculous trade proposals, ask your audience to stop sending them. Berating them doesn’t help anyone.

          Will this article stop the masses from suggesting Nick Schultz, Omark, and a 7th for Shea Weber…HELL NO.

          Then why post it?

          And I will agree, my sense of humor is generally more in tuned with things that are funny. Maybe thats the problem.

          tell you what, fellow commentors, lets redact every comment I’ve made thus far, and just assume every finger that has hit a key from the desk of Pajamah just reads the following…

          “Hmmm, this wasn’t funny at all”

          Futurama, Cyanide and Happiness, Monty Python, the Far Side….these things are funny.

          This missed the mark, badly.

          • The Soup Fascist

            This guy is great!! A new and perfectly acceptable aquisition to play on a line with with DSF and NAS. The only thing missing on the site is a negative props button – Pajamah would be giving DSF a real run for his records.

          • The Soup Fascist

            Nah, I don’t track the Canucks, or keep a running tab of Kyle Wellwood stats.

            Just trying to give everyone food for thought.

            If everyone here enjoys the article, and I don’t, then I’m not afraid to admit I was wrong. Maybe it was hilarious and I don’t get it.

            Just not my cup of tea.

          • oliveoilers

            This guy is great!! A new and perfectly acceptable aquisition to play on a line with with DSF and NAS. The only thing missing on the site is a negative props button – Pajamah would be giving DSF a real run for his records.

      • Word to the Bird

        Suppose my fave blogger was newagesystem, and he was to call me “assinine” (mentally retarded is so incorrect), I would thank him twice and wish him a good day.
        Thank you, thank you.

  • Word to the Bird

    JG, not saying that I want to do this trade, because I hate all the Weber proposals, but do you think Yakupov, Klefbom, Musil and a 2014 first would do it?

    • Craig1981

      First ask yourself if the avove are worth 4rst rounders AND 23 million dollars. That’s what nashville would need to break even. And you would need to bet breaking even by a large margin. No no no

      • Thats a bit of a misnomer. They dont need 4 1st rounders and 23 million $. The 4 first rounders are worth significantly less to nashville then really nhl players for a couple of reasons.

        1. They cant stay at the bottom of the league forever and continue to exist. They need to keep ppl coming in the door and while 4 1st rounders sounds great to us we live in the land of the draft so… In reality they cannot wait for all those assets to come to fruition.

        2. If Philly had landed Weber those first round picks basically would not be top 15 picks guaranteed.

        Im not saying that trade proposal is valid or not, just saying the logic that it has to be 4 1st rounders worth of value is flawed.

        • Craig1981

          Regardless of how you value four 1rst, Nashville turned them down AND shelled out 23mill when they are broke right now. You would need to make a proposal more appealing than that. The 23 mill is the bigger fact than the draft pics.

  • Spydyr

    Don’t get me wrong, I am the last guy here who thinks 3-4 spare parts are going to get you one of the top 10 D-men in the game today, but this article is ridiculous.

    First off, I guarantee Mac-T doesn’t listen to your show, read your blogs, or read your blurbs in the paper. The people who DO however, are typically the people you are insulting with this article.

    Sure, they’re dreaming, if they think we’ll ever get Weber, and sure their trade proposals are asinine.

    In the end though, Gregor, calling Oiler fans, and by extension, YOUR fans, idiots, is both indicative of the columns you write, show you host, and is down right pathetic.

    As you always say, BE BETTER!

    • StHenriOilBomb

      One thing I like about this site is when the bloggers and regulars demand that the commentary BE BETTER.

      If this insults someone who proves himself to have never bothered to read or absorb any of the content here by suggesting N.Shultz and Hemsky gets you Weber; so be it. The quality of content is the reason this is one of the only sites’ comment sections I bother to scroll.

    • Craig1981

      Wow…lighten up. First of all, he is only calling out a select few on their asinine trade proposals. Just because somebody proposes something idiotic, doesn’t make them an idiot.

      Second, you don’t know if MacT listens to Gregor’s show or read his articles, but more importantly, it doesn’t matter. The article was meant to be a spoof on a conversation for fun!

      Again…lighten up!!

      • Pinoy-ler

        Only my opinion, it doesnt come off satirical, it comes off pretentious and indignant.

        I run a 3-4 million dollar business, if I were to send a flyer to all my customers spoofing how they always asked “durr, how come your price is so high?” I guarantee I would lose business.

        But hey, Im not in media/journalism, if the majority of people here enjoy this, then great, Gregor did his job well. I just don’t find it funny.

        To each their own.

          • Connor Snipes

            It was hilarious. Great piece Gregor! Especially for all of us dedicated daily listeners listening to NHL 13 proposals. Pajamah runs a multi-million dollar business and doesn’t share the same sense of humour as us “not in the clouds” folk…

        • Craig MacTambeloweni

          I’m not sure who lit the fuse on your tampon, but I really enjoyed this article. It’s easy to be cranky after 7 years of no play offs but thats why these articles are fun. Eager, Omark and our 2014 and 2015 first rounder for Malkin = Stanley cup!!

        • Rob...

          Stating that you run a 3-4 million dollar company and eluding to the idea that it makes you an expert in all client/business relations doesn’t seem pretentious and indignant?

          If you’ve listened to Gregor’s show he slams Omark trade proposals on air too. The fans of the show had better expect it, because it’s not out of the ordinary.

  • Zamboni Driver

    Haha, Gregor it’s a bit early in the day to be crushing pints of Nationbeer.

    But seriously, I would hope MacT did make a call this morning. Obviously the price would be steep, but I would be willing to part with a major piece to get Weber.

  • Mumbai Max

    Do we still have the NHL rights to Alexei Mikhnov and Jani Rita? We could throw them in! Two of the top 1000 hockey players to never make the NHL. They could form an entire line with Omark.

  • Zamboni Driver

    The Omark stuff always is good for a chuckle.

    A guy who couldn’t play on the worst team in the NHL really is just misunderstood.

    Yeah, but he had all those points in SWITZERLAND or wherever.

    Feel free to correct me, but understand…I don’t know and I don’t care.

    Makes me wistful for those carefree days of thinking Robbie was going to light it up and come back to haunt us.

    *sigh*

    • G Money

      If you missed the point, then we can’t help you. We’ve had to read about asinine trade proposals regarding Weber for months. This is spoof on those.

      Good stuff Gregor, made me laugh. Especially because some fans actually believe their proposals are fair. Guys in my office are loving reading this, because one of them has argued for months we should get Weber and he kept including Omark. Awesome.

  • G Money

    This is what I read:

    “Gregor, I want … crack …”

    And I thought to myself …

    “Man, this guys on crack!”

    I wish I couldn’t not resist the urge to wisecrack.