A LETTER TO THE NEW COACH

 

What up new sexy Coach of the Oilers? You are certainly making a big splash in your early days at camp. Banning doughnuts, making grim faced statements of grim determination at every turn. Working out at 2:15 AM whilst the rest of us are lazily sleeping the day away. 

Sick.

END OF SUMMER

Last week your ol’ pal Wanye was out in the mean streets of Toronto transacting Nation Business. Finalizing a deal to buy a website to add to the Nation Network, meeting some of our awesome bloggers for the first time, drinking beer by the hectolitre and ogling the babes as they marched past in the clubs.

And during that time it was brought to our attention by several folks covering the Leafs that you are a man of singular focus and determination. "It was a real kick to the beans losing Eakins" they all said in their own way. "This guy is no joke and he is going to remake the character of your team in a real hurry. Leave it to the Leafs to let a guy like that get passed over for the Head Coach job and leave town."

Leave it to the Leafs? Pfft. How about them Edmonton Oilers finally looking outside their ranks and hiring a boss to come in and run the show.

As our esteemed colleague Brian Sutherby noted earlier today:

I had the privilege of facing the Marlies and an Eakins coached team 4 times last year and I can tell you they were awesome games. We lost every single one and all of them had a playoff type feel. Not a ton of fights, maybe one or two, but scrums and intensity galore.

They made you work for every inch. I can only assume the Oilers will be a much harder team to play against this year.

YES

Finally someone who is going to come in here and spin the straw of potential into golden results. Your seriousity so far on the job has impressed Oilers fans down to our socks. I can’t think of anyone in the last 10 years who has made as many public commitments to winning as you have already and you have exactly two days of training camp under your belt. You are already our 6th favourite Oiler and you won’t even set foot on the ice.

I can’t over emphasize how important you excelling at your new job is to us Oilers fans all around the world. All we want is the Oilers to finally win again. Maybe it was because so many of us younger fans either didn’t live through the glory years or were so young that we took them for granted. Maybe it’s because we are living in our beloved sub zero wasteland of a city and our brains are partially frozen year round and we can think of nothing else.

Either way we have been living in the shadow of these great teams from 25 years ago and cheering 24/7 for scraps and wasted potential ever since. The success of your hockey team and you kicking ass at your new job means more to us than it does to most. Millions of us are squarely in your corner as you make these boys into men.

Stack the dead bodies of non performing Oilers three across and use them as a bridge to ford the river and reach VictoryLand on the other side. Run roughshod over everyone who suggests that mediocrity and borderline competing is good enough as they collect millions in the process. Hell strap on the skates, wear Ben Eager’s face as a mask and block shots on the PK if you feel it would help.

We have a sneaking suspicion you are going to do whatever it takes.

"I firmly believe you’ve got to come in with your family with the attitude that this is our community and we’re never leaving. That’s the only way you can do it. I want everybody to know I’m all in.” – You, here.

Oh man. Thank you for coming here and signing on for the next four years of your life to do the job that we all want done so badly. You could have doubtlessly gone anywhere you wanted. Thank you for picking Edmonton and going all in.

Now for heaven’s sakes please get these here Oilers into the playoffs.

Love,

Wanye