This afternoon, Wanye and I locked ourselves in the war room at Nation HQ and went through over 50 photoshop entries to come up with the finalists. The sad part about it all is that we were only able to choose 6 finalists. So many of you had great entries that Wanye and I almost blew up in fisticuffs over who would make the final six. After many laughs and heated debates, here are your finalists.
DUDE, WHERE’S MY CENTREMAN
Good old Dude where’s my anything. We can grind jokes out of this movie poster for years. Hell, I bet we’ll be using this in movie shop photoshop entry contests in 2045*. This is a great entry, but bonus points would have been awarded if he had Hall wearing a Nation tee. However, the dog is wearing an Oilers tag. Don’t think that missed our cautious working eye.
*Oil Change 2045: Will Ryan Nugent-Hopkins Jr bounce back?
This is an entry that Ashton Kutcher would be proud of. No, we don’t know Ashton personally, but we think he would be impressed none-the-less. I love the joy on my sweet Nail’s face as he holds on to the steering wheel that is attached to nothing. As Wanye noted, bonus points are awarded for having the dog rock an Oilers tag. So good!
If I had been wearing a hat when this image came up it would have been blown off. But I wasn’t wearing a hat. I was wearing my pants as a chapeau. But that was just to impress Baggedmilk who claims he has “seen it all in his years on this earth.” But enough about BM’s worldly ways – how bout this poster?
This is such a nice entry I would gladly wear it on the back of my Tuxedo at my eventual marriage**. I’d get a skywriter to reproduce it over the blue skies of YEG. But these aren’t options are they? No. Then this is my favourite.
**Oil Change 2099: Robot Wanye takes a Robot Bride.
Sweet baby Nugey, this entry is fantastic! Does it get any more Canadian than photoshopping over Bob and Doug McKenzie? Not that I’ve seen in my earth years. I’m also thinking that Yakupov should adopt this look. I’d love to see him scoring goals with flowing locks waving in the wind – my goodness, he’s handsome. I really do love this entry. It is the OilersNation photoshop contest version of ordering a Tim Horton’s coffee while wearing a Canadian Tuxedo. *standing applause*
NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER
Wow. Just wow. I don’t know how the hell Andrew made this but it is amazing. Look at the Nuge! How is he 90 but still looks like a toddler. Look at Hall’s frown lines! It’s like he has seen his career unfold in it’s entirety by this point. Look at Eberle! I’ll still love you when you are covered in liver spots and your squinty glare is plagued by cataracts. This is a top drawer entry despite the fact it depressed the hell out of us both.
Even though Lil Nugey appears to be a 70 year old man, I would still be willing to bet that his mom drove him to the rink for this one. Unfortunately, seeing our young heroes aged like this was an awful reminder of how much time we’ve wasted on this rebuild. We need to see progress. If not for me, then for Wanye who is still shaken up by seeing his sweet Prince as an old man without a playoff game under his belt.
GAME OF TRADES
I haven’t seen a single episode of Game of Thrones. I guess I am waiting for a time of my life where I am confined to Wanye Manor by Mrs Wanye*** But even a clueless cat like myself can see the beauty in this entry. Look at you MacT. Sitting on your throne of spikes, silver hair glistening in the moonlight, knowing that you are one season away from being fired. (Whispers in ear) Oh, he can’t be fired? Tambo got five seasons at the helm before getting gassed? Well MacT, here’s to you anyway. May our shared enemies’ bodies clog the North Saskatchewan before the end of the season.
***See robot in Oil Change 2099
Everyone tells me that I should watch Game of Thrones. I haven’t seen any of it despite being told about the plethora of bosom that appears in high definition. Regardless, this entry is fantastic. Look at Craig MacTavish… he’s sitting there like the hero this team deserves. As a side note, after this article has been posted, I will be scouring the Internet for replicas of the throne for the office.
STILL WONT RUN
Point taken from our fellow judge baggedmilk that this photo is a stock image with a heading attached to it. It just gives me a feeling of peace is all, knowing that soon the sands of time will envelop the rusted out hulk of the Oilers 2009-present and will eventually be forgotten by history. This is a nice entry.
At first, I wasn’t sold on this entry because it is obvious that the heading is the only thing that has changed. Wanye really sold me on it by commandeering my laptop and forcing me to stare at it with Enya slow jams playing in the background. It really is peaceful! The more I look at that old car, sitting alone in the desert, I am reminded of what we’re all feeling on the inside – dead and possibly dehydrated from the Oiler Related Tears that have been flowing for the past 8 years.
THE DEFINITION OF INSANITY
This is genius. Firsly, Kevin Lowe is never going to live down making that face at a Carnival Of Champions back in the early 1990s. Didn’t you know that it would have a massive second life 20 years later? Didn’t you understand that what was once simply a non-staged photo for personal use would be “scanned” by lazers and then “uploaded” to the “cloud” where it would haunt you “forever?” COULDN’T YOU PREDICT THE RISE OF A GLOBALLY NETWORKED COMPUTER ARRAY THAT WOULD ENTERTAIN OILERS FANS FOR THE NEXT HUNDRED YEARS?
Well Kevin – that’s MY definition of insanity.
I love that MacT looks as though he’s been on tour with Cypress Hill in this picture. And as Wanye mentioned, the Kevin Lowe face always brings a smile to even the most dejected Oiler fan. When you add those two images together, what you get is a little piece of hilarity wrapped up in one image. They say that a picture tells a thousand words, and the face of management seems to say it all.
To vote for your favourite entry head over to the poll and say your piece. The voting will be closed on Sunday night at midnight, and the winners will be notified. I will send out the prizes as soon as possible once I’ve been in touch with the contestants. I will also be posting all the entries that didn’t make the cut on the Nation Instagram page, so keep an eye out for that.
After you’ve voted, head over to the OilersNation team page for the Walk a Mile fund raiser that is happening on September 23rd. Don’t forget, we’re still looking to people to join our team! If you’re man enough to Walk a Mile we’d love to have you on our side. Everyone that joins Team OilersNation will get a free Nation gear tee, and an opportunity to laugh with us as we waddle around Churchill Square.