Capilano Rehab Centre Injury Report – February 9, 2016

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Now that Connor’s back (and better), I’m not sure if I’m more concerned for the health status of the rest of the Oilers, or the health of the staff inside the walls of Nation HQ.

Nation Injuries


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While I am typing out this Injury Report, stalling while I think of injury stuff to write about by rambling about Nation HQ stuff, Jeanshorts and Baggedmilk both are making Darth Vader sounds. Jasper and #TheNationSkiTrip didn’t treat their immune system too well, as they are currently feeling all the pain that I felt in the last two weeks from my sickness. Obviously, they are trying to blame their flus on me, but I’ve determined that my constant illness is not contagious – don’t ask why. Anyways… Darth Vader. I’m not wearing headphones, but if I was at the moment, I’m sure I would be able to hear their sniffling and mouth-breaths over my Beyonce playing in the background.

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Their work performance has taken a considerable impact as well since the ski trip. Baggedmilk forgot how to drink from a coffee mug this morning at the weekly Nation breakfast meeting as he spilt it all over his chest trying to take a sip. Jeanshorts’ illness has made him delusional as he walked up and down the Little Brick stairs a few times forgetting why he went down there in the first place. Okay that didn’t happen – He hasn’t done anything funny yet, but I will be sure to report back when it happens, because it will happen. All he has done so far is become a nuisance, coughing all over the office and potentially getting me sick again. He claims he’s never gotten this sick this often since I started working here. I wouldn’t deny it for a second, cause I’m pretty sure I’m sick 12 months a year, it just has bad phases and good phases. I’m currently in a good phase right now which makes watching these two struggle all that more entertaining.

Oiler Injuries


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In real life news, nothing has changed on the Oilers injury reserve as Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, Andrew Ference, and Oscar Klefbom are still hogging the IR time to themselves. I’m not even sure if we can count Ference anymore as he is out for the rest of the season getting a bionic hip implant. Nuge is currently waiting for his bionic hand surgery to recover. We should see him continue to do bionic things in the last couple weeks of the regular season if we’re lucky. At least he’ll be well rested and we’ll have him right in time for playoffs! LOL!

Oscar Klefbom is our only hope at the moment of seeing an injured player return sooner than later. His staph infection has not yet healed, and unfortunately we don’t have an immediate timeline yet. It was originally said that he will return shortly after the All Star break. The thing with staph infections though, is that you can’t really estimate when it will go away, even if you think you’re getting healthy. The one thing we know for sure, is that he can’t come back soon enough.

Fan Injuries


You wanna know what else is injured? My heart. My heart is broken after watching Ben Scrivens stand on his head against us and then throw dirt in our organization’s eyes after the Habs game on the weekend. Though he was just venting, and kind of had good reasons to be mad, (kind of – the part about us sending him down without a visa), but it still hurt hearing it! Along with that, all of oil countries soul’s are day-to-day after losing 13-2 collectively over the weekend. I’m sure a big cup of W tonight would fix us all up again. I apologize for the lame analogies here, I’ve drank a lot of coffee today.

The Capilano Rehab Centre probably can’t fix our broken hearts. But I hear they do a pretty awesome job at healing common sports injuries. For any of your injury needs, visit their website, or give them a call at (780) 466-1104.

North x NorthGretz Podcast


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Haven’t listened to the Jasper version of the podcast yet? Well here it is. The almighty TowelBoy joined us in Jeanshorts’ hotel room as we recorded the 15th episode of North x NorthGretz. We had a few cocktails prior to the recording so discussing the Nation Ski Trip, Oilers, and McDavid has a nice spin put on it.