First Star, Worst Star: April 10th, 2016


Here we are at the end of another NHL season. There were ups, there were downs, and if you were a fan of any of the Canadian teams you mostly just hoped that the entire season would be wiped out and everything would start over again next year. We’ve all had a lot of fun, and let’s never speak of it again!


Professional hockey teams, especially those in the lower ranks, are always trying to find ways to entertain the fans during those times when the players aren’t out there trying to take each others heads off. And with all due respect to those cute lil’ Timbits players chasing the puck around centre ice for five minutes, my personal favourite has always been the “shoot a puck through this tiny hole to win a prize” style of intermission entertainment. Which brings us to last Thursday night, in the noted hockey-mad city of Orlando, Florida! 

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What a shot! According to Fox Sports this sniper only need one attempt to drain this 115 footer, and took home a cool $100,000. Just another typical Hockey Night In Orlando! 

Also, a right handed shot from the blue line, EH? *Scribbles another note to throw onto Peter Chiarelli’s lawn*


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Oooof. That was… ugly. I haven’t seen a collapse that bad since the 2015-16 Vancouver Canucks! 

For those who spent their Sunday afternoon outside (WHY?) or who just aren’t into golf, Jordan Spieth had been leading the tournament since the first day, and was looking to be the first person ever to lead wire-to-wire in back to back Masters. He had a 5 stroke lead heading into the 12th hole, when this happened:

Spieth finished the hole with a quadruple bogey, and was never able to recover, handing the green jacket (after almost suffering his second collapse of the day) to Danny Willett, which also happened to be his first PGA Tour win to boot. Not a bad way to arrive on the scene!  

Eh, but what are you gonna do? He’s only 22 (the same age as Ryan Nugent-Hopkins), has won 2 majors already and in three visits to Augusta the worst he’s ever finished is 2nd! He’ll be fine, and I’m sure we’ll all look back on this day and think to ourselves “Wow, remember that one and only time Jordan Spieth blew a huge lead to lose the Masters? What a time to be alive that was! Now fetch me my flying car, I have to go buy more soylent capsules!” 

Either that or he’ll never recover from this and will go down in history as a “What Could Have Been” story that they’ll make a 30 For 30 about. I don’t know, I’m not Zoltar, get off my back!  

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  • Dirtski

    I don’t like him but I love him…somehow. Hope “first star worst star” sticks around for the off-season, his head-scratching / eyebrow raising / squinting eyes while shaking head at the computer screen in disgust… antics are needed while we dream about what’s to come at the draft (like trades). So…Um….for all you do, jeanshorts, thanks (??????). No that doesn’t sound right.
    Jeanshorts exists.
    That is a fact.
    Jeanshorts exists.He also does things.
    Yup, that about sums it up.
    Keep doing…things…jeanshorts. Keep doing things.

    idk. Too early for a jeanshorts. Still recovering from this season hangover. My heads spinning. Jeanshorts is tripping me out. Jeanshorts always trips me out. Noooooo…come back oilers! Connor!!! I don’t want the season to be over. but I want a new season where we’re awesome to start now. This is too soon for a jeanshorts article! I’m now going to throw up in my garbage and cry under my Mcdavid poster. Bad move Oilersnation…way too soon for a jeanshorts. Way too soon for a jeanshorts.

  • HardBoiledOil 1.0

    i’m happy for the guy that won the $100,000. could the hole have been any smaller? but he still drained it ! i can see the folks who did this promo crying in their beer because they have to pay up now and are now just realizing they should have made that hole even smaller!! kind of the size of hole the nets sometimes are when the Oilers are trying to score goals….

    • Here’s the inside dope. They DON’T have to pay the whole thing. Insurance policies are purchased based on the probability of the guy actually making the shot. It might be maybe 20% of what was actually paid out. #TheMoreYouKnow