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The 2016-17 Not So Fun NHL Awards

A couple weeks ago I wrote about what Oilers fans can expect with the upcoming NHL awards. Things are exciting around these parts because for once I’m MORE excited to watch the award ceremony instead of the draft. On the topic of awards, I came across an interesting thread on r/hockey a while back about the 2016-17 Not So Fun NHL Awards. Once again, Connor McDavid is in the running for a lot of these not-fun awards so I figured I’d fill you all in on his prizes.

Shout out to u/Rubb3rDucky for doing all the leg work on these not-so-fancy statistics. I mean, keeping track of stats like this sounds fun and all and I would love to do it, but for now I’ll just continue to read and admire other people’s work. Below is a list of the 2016-17 NHL Not So Fun Awards. There are many different types so I only chose to include the awards with Edmonton Oiler players included. For the full list, you can check out the Awards article here.

The All by Myseeeeelf Award:  Most unassisted goals

  1. Michael Grabner (4)
  2. Auston Mathews (3)
  3. Troy Brouwer (3)
  4. Mark Letestu (3)
  5. 20 other players with 2

I was a little surprised to see power play specialist, Mark Letestu on this list amongst Auston Matthews and Michael Grabner, however Letestu does get a lot of penalty kill time. Tallying two shorthanded goals this season, I’m not surprised that he gets a lot of opportunities created by himself.

The Santa Clause Award: Who gave the puck away the most

  1. Brent Burns (153)
  2. Erik Karlsson (106)
  3. Jeff Petry (102)
  4. John Klingberg (99)
  5. Andre Sekera (95)

*tugs collar* Everybody else okay with pretending we never saw Andre Sekera on this list?

The Grinch Award: Who stole the puck the most

  1. Mark Stone (96)
  2. Jaccob Slavin (83)
  3. Filip Forsberg (76)
  4. Austin Mathews (76)
  5. Connor McDavid (76)

Am I surprised Connor’s in the top five takeaway list? No. Am I surprised he’s not number one? Yes. Connor’s an invisible puck thief out there and should make all his opponents uncomfortable because of it.

The Puck Magnet Award: Who blocked the most shots

  1. Kris Russel (213)
  2. Erik Karlsson (201)
  3. Ian Cole (194)
  4. Calvin de Haan (188)
  5. Mark Giordano (184)

In an unsurprising list, Kris Russell is once again the best shot blocker in the league. In the last four seasons, Russell has finished in the top three of blocked shots amongst the league. I’m pretty surprised that pucks can even find his 5’10” frame that easily. That’s worth a $5Mx5 contract if you ask me!*

*NO

The Playmaker Award: Who has the most primary assists

  1. Connor McDavid (44)
  2. Ryan Getzlaf (39)
  3. Patrick Kane (35)
  4. Henrik Zetterberg (35)
  5. Victor Hedman (34)

In other words, the sky is blue, Tim Hortons coffee is better than McDonalds, and Ryan Getzlaf is still a respectable dink.

The I Kinda Helped Award: Who got the most secondary assists

  1. Nicklas Backstrom (32)
  2. Erik Karlsson (30)
  3. Duncan Keith (28)
  4. Mikko Koivu (26)
  5. Connor McDavid (26)

Omitted from his official hockey card, Connor McDavid is also really good at ‘kinda helping’ his teammates out with secondary assists.

The Broken Fingers Award: Most slashing penalties drawn 

  1. Michael Grabner/Mathieu Perrault/Connor Murphy (7)
  2. Radulov/Hedman/van Reimsdyk/Ehlers/Gaudreau/Kuznetsov/McDavid (6)

Since he’s impossible to catch the only way you can get near him is by swinging your stick at him as he flashes by you. Moving on.

The Sit Down Award: Most tripping penalties drawn 

  1. Johnny Gaudreau (13)
  2. David Pastrnak (13)
  3. Connor McDavid (12)
  4. Nikolaj Ehlers (11)
  5. Brad Marchand (10)

The only reason I think Johnny Hockey’s leading this list is cause he’s still learning how to skate and falls down a lot. Tripping and hacking at Connor is the only way you could ever slow him down.

The I’m good at diving Award: Most penalties drawn 

  1. null (698) – These are too many men, puck over glass, misconducts, etc.
  2. Conor McDavid (52)
  3. Matthew Tkachuk (50)
  4. Tom Wilson (43)
  5. Nikolaj Ehlers (42)

Although I could go without the title, I’m not surprised Connor leads this list. Connor draws the penalties, and Mark Letestu scores the power play goals. Good system, right?

The Earning That Contract Award: Most secondary assists on the PP 

  1. Nicklas Backstrom (16)
  2. Rasmus Ristolainen (14)
  3. Giroux/Wennberg/Karlsson (13)
  4. McDavid/Spezza/Thornton (12)

Secondary powerplay assists are pretty much the last thing I think about when watching a game. Connor McDavid has earned that contract by ultimately being alive. Just like the real NHL awards, Connor pretty much dominates the fake, un-interesting NHL awards too. The kid is born to win things.