With the NHL Expansion Draft only hours away, I wanted to try and do one last sales push to convince George McPhee to take Benoit Pouliot in the Expansion Draft.
Let’s level with each other here, George. Can I call you George? Anyway, I know that Pou may have his warts but that doesn’t mean that he couldn’t make your team better, right? Besides, you need players that people actually know to help sell tickets beyond the inaugural season. Sure, Benoit Pouliot may not be as well known as Connor McDavid, but he’s still known by
a lot of people some people a few people and that must count for something. Right? RIGHT?
While Pouliot may not be the sexiest pick for the Golden Knights to take, he still has plenty of redeeming qualities that would make his selection well worth it. With that in mind, I’ve put together a list of the top five reasons why George McPhee should consider taking Pouliot for the Vegas Golden Knights*. After reading my list, I just can’t see any way that Vegas WON’T want to take on the Pou!**
*Yeah, I know that the picks have already been submitted but so what?
**I’m a dreamer
YOU NEED OFFENCE
Despite last season’s disappointing Pou, the guy can still produce offence on a semi-regular basis and you’re going to need players that can score goals. Sure, I know you’ll have a chance to steal guys like James Neal, David Perron and Jonathan Marchessault but that doesn’t mean that you can’t use a little bit more. Hell, I’d think Swag Daddy would even be willing to retain upwards of half of his salary just to give you the privilege of having another NHL player. That’s a good deal and you know it. Pouliot has averaged more than 13 goals per season over the past seven seasons and that’s the kind of consistency you need.
PEOPLE LOVE FORMER TOP FIVE PICKS
Regardless of how their careers actually pan out, people always seem to love acquiring Top 5 picks. Even though the draft shine has long worn off on Benoit Pouliot, that doesn’t change the fact that he was selected fourth overall in the 2005 Entry Draft. Not only was he picked in the Top 5, ol’ Pou was the second ranked skater behind Sidney Crosby according to the ISS that year. Again, I understand that draft rankings don’t mean anything at this point but you guys are trying to gain new fans and new fans love this kind of shit.
You know you’re going to have to play some games in Quebec this year and it would be nice for you to have another bilingual player on the roster that can act as a tour guide. How about national parks? Have you thought about what you’ll do if the park ranger asks you a question in Canada’s second official language? I mean, with the economy the way it is then keeping costs low could be very important for your new franchise and that’s why you should consider taking a man with a wide range of skills. Besides, you never know when you’re going to need to microwave something and you accidentally threw away the English instructions.
YOU WANT TO WIN THE LOTTERY, DON’T YOU?
Now, George, before you start thinking that this is a negative point I need you to hear me out on this one. You guys want to get the first overall pick — this we know. One of the best ways to do that is to be one of the most penalized teams in the league and ensure that your guys are playing shorthanded most of the time. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that Benny is always in the penalty box but when he is there’s a good chance the penalty occurred in the offensive zone and will be completely deflating for the rest of your team. If you’re in the hunt for a first overall pick then that’s something you need to consider.
From what I can tell, you’re doing favours for a lot of other teams during this whole expansion thing. I don’t know why you’re letting the Anaheim Ducks bully you into not taking Josh Manson but we could use some of that same compassion coming our way. With Connor and Leon set to make bank later this summer, we could really use some cap relief around these parts. I don’t know when the last time you performed a mitzvah for someone but this type of good deed will surely bring you some good karma in return. Besides, taking Pouliot wouldn’t even be the dumbest thing you’ve ever done. *cough* Erat for Forsberg *cough* Excuse me. What was I saying?
WHAT DID I MISS?
Now that you’ve seen my list, I’m asking that you chip in with a few Benny Benefits® of your own. Does he make great guac? Is he a good cuddler? Does he always know which movie to watch on Netflix? Is he a fantastic Trivial Pursuit player? I think we should all put our heads together and try to swing the votes despite the fact that the picks have already been submitted. I believe that we can achieve.