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Photo Credit: © Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports

Should the Oilers trade for Jack Johnson and play him at forward

In one of the hottest takes that I can remember, Jesse Cohen from the All The Kings Men podcast and LAKings.com dropped a truly hilarious idea about a player the Oilers could look at acquiring. Should Edmonton look to acquire Jack Johnson from the Blue Jackets and convert him to forward? Let’s take a look.

Now, before we get started here I’m going to go ahead and give Jesse the benefit of the doubt and assume he’s joking. At least I hope he was joking. I mean, there’s no one on Gord’s green earth that could possibly think that spending assets on Jack Johnson and trying to convert him to forward is a good idea. So I refuse to believe that Cohen is serious. The guy has to be trolling the Oilers for their odd choices, right? It’s the only thing that makes sense. I mean, if we’re throwing out hypothetical trade scenarios to solve the winger crisis in Edmonton then I want to throw Polkaroo‘s name in the mix. He has the size the Oilers are looking for and he always seems to be able to find the soft spots in coverage.

Jokes or not, Cohen’s TV partner, Patrick O’Neal, wasn’t having any of this suggestion and shut it down immediately.

“Yeah, and everyone gets fired for making this dumb decision and moving Jack Johnson to forward.”

But since the Internet has already blasted Cohen for his idea that’s totally super-cereal, I wanted to give him the courtesy of joining in on the discussion. I’m not going to make fun of Jesse for his out of the box thinking but rather will nurture this horrible take with a few of my own. With that in mind, I will present a few pros and cons for why the Oilers should trade for Jack Johnson and slot him beside Connor McDavid on the wing.

Pros Cons
Johnson has album after album of smooth jams that are perfect for the beach or dressing room The dads trip will be incredibly awkward
Johnson checks off the big and slow boxes that Peter Chiarelli covets Scott Howson probably thinks this is a great idea and can’t understand the backlash
Benoit Pouliot (4) was the highest pick the Oilers have had from the 2005 Draft. Johnson (3) would set a new record. Johnson wears No. 7 and would have to fight his new skills coach, Paul Coffey, to get that number back
Considering his personal finances, you know you’d be getting a motivated player You can never have too many guys in their 30s
This idea opens up other possibilities like trying out Kris Russell as a backup goaltender or stadium mechanical bull operator Yohann Auvitu doesn’t appreciate someone else stealing his forward dreams
First defence. Then forward. Then goalie? Versatility be thy name. Edmonton doesn’t have a goal cannon

THE WRAP…

If Jesse Cohen isn’t being serious about this Jack Johnson thing then why am I talking about it? I guess it’s because it’s Monday and I’m looking to kill time, but also to point out that there is probably someone out there that actually thinks this is a good idea. Why is that concerning? I need you guys to think of me here. There’s a chance (albeit a small one) that I may have to spend time reading a comment or tweet from someone genuinely wondering if the Oilers should try this or not. You just know that there is someone out there that watched this video and nodded their head in agreement, and it’s because making weird choices is kinda the Oilers’ thing at this point. That ‘who knows what will happen’ approach means that no ridiculous idea is necessarily off the table and there lies the problem.

That said, I know that most people will look at this kind of hot take and realize it’s nonsense or was said with tongue firmly planted in cheek (again, I hope so), but they’re not the ones I’m worried about. I’m worried about the wildcards that care what a player’s dad does for a living and think trading everyone is for another team’s garbage is a good idea. On one hand, I genuinely burst out laughing that someone would say this on TV with a straight face. On the other hand, I had to look up who Jesse Cohen was this morning and decide whether or not I think he was serious. Then again, when you’re talking about the Edmonton Oilers, you never know what could happen so why not throw out a weird idae. As Kevin Lowe used to say, expect the unexpected.

But let me say right now, if this trade goes through I’m heading out to invest in a helmet.