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An Open Letter to the Minnesota Wild

With rumours circulating that former Edmonton Oilers GM Peter Chiarelli could be in the running for the vacant manager job in Minnesota, I wanted to sit down and write a letter to our friends in Minnesota to let them know how wonderful of an idea I think that is. In fact, I think hiring Chiarelli is the best idea and I’m here to explain why.

After only a single season in the job, Paul Fenton was fired as the Minnesota Wild’s GM and now they’re on the hunt for a replacement. Considering the vacancy and pressure of the job, you’d assume that the Wild would be looking for an experienced replacement to come in and right the ship, which is exactly where Peter Chiarelli comes in. As any good Oilers fan will tell you, Pistol Pete did a hell of a job around these parts and I’m sure each and every one of us would be completely devastated* to see him hired by another Western Conference team. That said, I still feel like I should support him in his quest for the gig.

Dear Craig Leipold and Wild crew,

I know that you guys are upset about the lacklustre job Paul Fenton did for you last season, an obvious fact since you fired him after only a single year, so I think the right play is to bring in a man with experience. In Fenton, you brought in a guy who had spent many years as an AGM in Nashville but hadn’t run his own team before and I think his overall lack of at-bats came into play with why things went wrong. The guy simply didn’t have enough knowledge to make it work and that’s why I think you need someone that’s seen it all before. Someone that has won before. Someone like Peter Chiarelli.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. You probably wondering why Peter Chiarelli should be the right man for the job since he was just fired in Edmonton, but I’m here to tell you that those fears are completely unjustified. Sure, Pete may have made some questionable moves in his time here, his one-for-one trades are the stuff of legends, but he also was in charge when the Oilers made the playoffs for the first time in more than a decade. Yeah, you could credit the Connor McDavids and Leon Draisaitls of the world for making that happen or Cam Talbot for standing on his head all season, but Pete did his part by growing varying styles of facial hair and rocking a tracksuit like no other. You do want to make sure your merch is worn with pride, don’t you? Of course you do.

Not to mention, Peter Chiarelli is also very charitable and I’m not sure if you know that. Through the goodness of his heart, he’s made many men a lot of money whether they deserved it or not and I know that’s not because he’s bad at his job but because he cares about them. For instance, you might wonder why Mikko Koskinen deserved a $13.5 million contract when he was completely unproven but I know it was because Pete wanted to make sure that he and his family would be comfortable for the rest of their lives. Without him, the Koskinens might have had to set up a table to sell homemade hummus at their local farmers market when Mikko’s playing days were over, but not any more thanks to Pete. That’s love, my friends.

And not only is he charitable, but Peter Chiarelli also has a lot of friends too. In fact, he’s so popular that other GMs frequently call him just to check in on what he’s thinking and to see if there are any pesky players that they can take off his hands for him. And like the good friend he is, Peter is always willing to do what it takes to make sure his GM friends are happy. Some people might think that’s because he’s horrible at assessing talent and has no ability to negotiate, but I know that it’s simply because he cares about his peers and wants them to be successful. When you give lovingly as Pete often does, the universe will find a way to provide — that’s how karma works. Besides, you can’t possibly tell me that it wouldn’t be a good look for the Minnesota Wild to be the most popular team in the NHL. You want everyone to like your franchise, don’t you?

Lastly, maybe you’ve heard of Harvard University? Well, Peter Chiarelli went there you know, and I think it’s pretty obvious that any organization would be better served by having a Harvard man in the mix. So do what’s right and bring in the man that will help rebuild the reputation of your franchise by being so loving and kind to the other 31 teams. That’s how winners are built and that’s why Peter Chiarelli deserves the position.

Your friend,

-Baggedmilk

*elated