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Letters to Santa: Oilers Edition

With Christmas coming up tomorrow, I decided to write a few letters to Santa on behalf of our boys to see if we can’t get them a few last-minute gifts under their trees ahead of the 2021 NHL season.

CONNOR MCDAVID:

DEAR SANTA,

As you’ve come to expect, I’ve been a very good boy in 2020 and I think you should know about it. My peers around the league have the utmost respect for me and even though I didn’t win any of the major awards this year, there’s little doubt in my mind that I am the most outstanding player in the entire National Hockey League. Not to mention, I’ve also decided to grow my hair out again and, not to sound too full of myself, it looks amazingly good. For Christmas this year I would really like some of that depth scoring we’ve been talking about over the years to try and take some of the pressure of Leon and me. If you could find a way in your heart to make that happen I would be forever grateful.

Your Friend, Connor

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LEON DRAISAITL:

Lieber Weihnachtsman,

All I want for Christmas this year is a little bit of respect from some of the Eastern media that don’t seem to realize how good I am at playing hockey. Not only did I win the Art Ross, Hart Trophy, and Ted Lindsay Award, but I also carried the Oilers on my back for most of the year so it would be cool if people that aren’t Oilers fans realize it. Anyway, at the very least, just make sure that Connor and I keep getting all of the powerplay time together so we can get our points up and torch the teams that dare cross us. 

Danke, Leon.

RYAN NUGENT-HOPKINS:

Dear, Santa!

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It’s me, Ryan but all of my friends call me Nuge. This year, I would love to get hooked up with a fresh contract extension that will keep me in Edmonton for the rest of my career and to help stop this weirdo named Baggedmilk from crying outside of my house every night. I mean, he’s a nice guy and all, and I always appreciate the way he tells people to keep me around forever, but the unexpected visits and hair dolls have to stop. If you could help me out with this then it would allow me to remain focused on the task at hand, getting myself to a point per game pace and leading the Edmonton Oilers to the Stanley Cup we greatly deserve.

Thank you very much, RNH.

JESSE PULJUJARVI:

Rakas Joulupukki!

This is my second go in Edmonton and I’d really like to turn things around this time, so if you could please make sure that I have some consistent linemates and playing time throughout my first year back then that would be great. I feel pretty good about my game and, as you can see, my English has vastly improved so I think that this is the perfect time to show Oilers fans that I’m legit. I mean, even if things don’t work out I’ll probably have a good time in Seattle so anything you can kick my way will be much appreciated. 

Jesse, Yup!

TYSON BARRIE:

Hey, Santa,

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So last year, things didn’t really go as I had hoped with the Maple Leafs. At first, Babcock really didn’t like what I was bringing to the table and he tried to turn me into some kind of Steve Staios clone that was never going to happen. Thankfully, things got better after he got the axe but it felt like Leafs fans were already on my back and there was no winning them back. This year, I bet on myself with a one year deal in Edmonton and I think that if I can just man that first unit powerplay with McDavid and Draisaitl that this one-year gamble will pay off greatly, earning me a monstrous contract either here or elsewhere in the offseason. If you could make that happen, I’ll be sure to upgrade the cookies we leave for you and balance it out with a perfectly made White Russian to wash it all down. 

You’re the best, Tyson

ALEX CHIASSON:

Dear Santa,

I could really use another big season in 2021 because my contract is up at the end of the year and I’m really hoping to pick up a new wakeboarding boat for the summer. If you can help me out with some power play time with the boys then that would be great.

Merry Christmas! Alex.

JUJHAR KHAIRA:

Hi Santa

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If you’ve been watching over the last couple of seasons then I would understand why you’d think I should be on the naughty list, but I promise you that this year will be different. Not only have I had a long and productive offseason, but I also plan on embracing my role as one of the first penalty killers off the bench and your support would be hugely beneficial. If it’s not too much to ask, do you think you could hook me up with one of those silver Gretzky Eastons from the 90s? I could use some of my scoring confidence back and I think using the Great One’s wand would go a long way in helping me get there.

Thanks, Jujhar

ZACH KASSIAN:

Hey, Santa,

A few people around these parts aren’t happy with me because of the contract I signed last season, so it would be great if you could hook me up with that spot on Connor’s RW so that I can pop a few goals to keep the haters quiet. It’s either that or I punch their heads clean off their shoulders. The choice is yours.

You the man, Zach

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ADAM LARSSON:

Dear, Santa,

Even though I’m built like a Swedish God, my back is still giving me some problems so I’d like to ask for the strength of Zeus as we approach this new season. With Klef out of the lineup, the boys will depend on my skills and my abs to balance things out, and I could really use your help to make sure I stay healthy.

Thank you, Adam

WHAT SAY YOU?

Obviously, I wasn’t able to write letters to Santa from all of the guys but I felt like I did a pretty good job of helping these ones out with a few last minute requests. That said, I know I definitely missed a few guys, so if you’re writing to Santa in the spirit of helping out the Oilers, what would you like to see some of these guys get for Christmas?

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