168

Famous last words

If Tuesday’s 2-1 loss to the Los Angeles Kings was Craig MacTavish’s last gasp as coach of the Edmonton Oilers, and I suspect it was, don’t count me among those overjoyed with his demise.

31

Fresh Meat

Now that the bones of the Edmonton Oilers have been pretty much picked clean as the season’s slid into the sewer, you get the kind of stories we’ve had in the last week or so.

97

APRIL FOOLS

In yet another kick to the groin, the Edmonton Oilers shafted themselves — or is it bladed themselves? — in Tuesday’s 5-3 loss to the Anaheim Ducks when coach Craig MacTavish guessed wrong on Teemu Selanne’s stick.

81

THANKS FOR COMING

The official sign golf season was underway used to be the opening of Golden West Golf Course, but with the modest old track now closed, the Edmonton Oilers have taken over as the official beacon that’s it’s time for fans to move along and tee it up.

79

Desert no place for ice hockey

This just in from the Department Of The Obvious: residents of Phoenix (the people who haven’t lost their houses to foreclosure and still live there) don’t give two squirts about the Coyotes, let alone the Edmonton Oilers.

99

True Confessions

Faster than oil companies have gouged us again with a four-cent increase at the gas pumps to mark the first day of spring, optimism over the Edmonton Oilers playoff chances has grown in leaps and bounds after Thursday’s 8-1 laugher over the feeble Colorado Avalanche.

65

Under pressure

Funny thing how expectations work. When there are none, you get rolls like the Edmonton Oilers fashioned in their final 20 games last season as they went 14-5-1 and looked like the 1957 Montreal Canadiens doing it.

121

Deep Thoughts VIII: the great race

Not since Bob Stauffer and I attempted to propel our fat asses over 40 yards in a foot race without taking the twister at Edmonton Eskimos training camp a few years ago has there been a sight as sorry as the Western Conference playoff race the Edmonton Oilers are involved in.

68

No Oil Country for Old Men

I love old guys because I am one. I appreciate old stuff because, well, there’s something to be said for time-tested reliability and familiarity even when it’s obvious there’s newer, better junk around.

76

The Lewinsky Effect

“I did not have sex with that woman.” What else did you expect Bill Clinton to say after he got caught with his pants around his ankles and Monica Lewinsky under his desk in the Oval Office several years ago? “She was polishing my shoes?”

116

What go-to guys?

When the Edmonton Oilers miss the playoffs, they’ll look back on losses like Thursday’s indifferent 4-2 shoulder shrug against the feeble Ottawa Senators and untimely no-shows by their best players as the reason why.