November 12 2013 09:52AM
Let's all simmer down for a moment. Let's put down our shotguns and forget for an instant that Yakupov's agent is showing everyone why he is entitled to hundreds of thousands of 64's dollars every year "having his back" or whatever it is that agents do.
It's time for some fun, some laughs and hours crouched in front of the warm glow of a computer monitor as we touch up photographs in a photoshop contest.
Poor ol Bryz. Sitting on millions, blessed with an imagination that most writers would kill their English Honours classmates to possess. Banished to the frozen Northern tundra to ply his trade for millions more. As a man from the frozen Northern tundra of Togliatti this is going to create some massive culture shock that will take minutes to overcome.
We feel for the guy on one level. He went from being the Boss of all Bosses, signing a 9 year 51 million dollar contract with Philly to being summarily tossed from the league and exiled to the place where millionaires go to die: Las Vegas, Nevada. Now he has been signed to the Oil of all squads and has been reduced to making positive statements about coming to a team so broken it will be studied in GM School for decades to come.
And during all of the inevitable backlash on the twitterz - we Oilers fans are a tense lot these days - we can't think of a single positive message of support that we have seen until last night when we started trying to locate the 5 Bryz fans in the OilersNation.
So you are saying there is room on the Bryz Bandwagon then?
*scratches beard itchily*
GO GET EM BRYZ!
Wouldn't it be great if Bryz showed up and put on a clinic of awesome in net? You know he has it in him - the man has played great for three different teams. Nothing would be more hilarious if he came to Edmonton and gave us what we have lacked for so long - a dose of hot goaltending. Imagine he was the guy that Eakins is able to super charge with all of his Jedi mind tricks? Classic.
Remember when a goalie gets hot and steals you a few games in a row and all the players say "man we had no business winning this game or the last. Thank God our goalie is hot." When did that happen last? Probably 2006.
We need you Bryz Khalifa. It's dire times around here and if you are somehow the answer this is going to be a grand ride for all involved.
Anyone who has seen 24/7 or any of the many other interviews with the new Oilers tendy has probably marvelled at the wonderous statements the man has made on camera. Has he been bitten in the brain by some sort of bug? Is he slightly touched by the angels? Is this English as a second language acting as a barrier to understanding what he really means?
Ah screw it.
We need this Soviet Space Cowboy to step up and remind us all why he was worth 51 million to Ed Snyder only a few months ago. And that is the theme for the sixth installment of the infamous OilersNation photoshop contest.
Bryz as an astronaut - as my boy @_AGuyNamedKris has brilliantly shown above. Bryz fighting space bears. Bryz as our mystical shaman leading us out of the darkness and into the brilliant light of a nearby dwarf star.
Thy sky is the limit. Send your entries to wanyegretz at gmail dot com. We will close off entries on Friday then we can all laugh and vote over the weekend.
Oh and first prize? Hmm. How about the first Bryzgalov Oilers jersey on the market?
Yeah, that will do nicely.