Put me in, coach

Written by Matthew Eaton

It’s going to be Draft-a-Fan night for the Oilers. Everybody going to the game is going to bring their skates and a stick. Then, the moment we get another injury MacT is going to turn around and yell out a seat number.

“Grebeshkov is down with an exploded heart from that check into the boards! No penalty on the play! Looks like he’ll be replaced by a bitter looking fan in a Pronger jersey,” Harry Neale will say.

When MacT calls me down, I’ll do what we all want to see on the ice: slash Iginla and paste Lombardi. Don’t be worried when Regehr retaliates and puts me in the hospital; I’m just getting the true “team experience.”

Penner is out for blood

Tonight’s game will hinge on a few young guys turning into human torpedoes and making the game physical. If Penner isn’t going to get goals I want to see him sitting on top of a pile of skulls and broken sticks.