This just in: Oilers win two fewer games than the Ducks


You think Kevin Lowe isn’t smiling right now? After blowing a 1–0 lead going into the third and allowing four third-period goals, the Ducks fell to the Dallas Stars on Sunday night. So, on behalf of the great city of Edmonton and the citizens of the OilersNation around the world allow us to be the first to say “Suck on that, Burke.”

We might be up to our eyes in snow here in E-Town, but we can stay warm feeling the rage emanating off of Brian Burke’s gelatinous forehead. Hey Brian, do you miss Andy MacDonald? Do you think trading your leading goal scorer in last year’s playoffs is such a good idea now? How wise was operating the Seniors Back-To-Work Program and bringing back Selanne and Niedermayer? A hat trick of smooth-movery.

And it’s also nice to see that the 1.345 of a reporter that actually covers the Ducks found some time in between articles on Polo and junior Nascar racing to make the following insights:

“When Niedermayer returned and General Manager Brian Burke had to make salary-cap space for him this season and next, Burke had to choose between trading center Andy McDonald or defenseman Mathieu Schneider. He dealt McDonald, the team’s top playoff goal scorer last spring, so he could keep his defense intact.

“That was the wrong decision, not only because the Ducks lost McDonald’s playmaking and scoring but because Schneider is incurably soft and untrustworthy defensively. Those failings were never better typified than when he let Stephane Robidas get past him along the right-wing boards and set up Stu Barnes for Dallas’ second goal.”

Har har har (wipes eyes). Even reporters in Anaheim are questioning ol’ Burkie. It warms our frozen heart, it does. If you want to read more page-15 coverage on the Ducks collapse you can read here:

And you can read about Stephane Robidas outplaying Niedermayer and Pronger here.

Oh it’s rich, lambs. Kiss our frostbitten asses, Anaheim

  • I'm a Scientist!

    I want to throw one more thing out there for Brian Burke to suck on and this is coming from a guy who was pretty hard on the big mennonite from Winkler Manitoba wearing George Larouque's old #27.

    Brian Burke paid 4 mill per year to Todd Burtuzzi for 14G, 26A and 40P. TOdd Burtuzzi is washed up and will never again have more than 40 points per season.

    KLowe paid Dustin Penner 4.25 Mill for 23G(which lead the Oil), 24A and 47 P. Dustin Penner is going to get better every year and will score 35 goals or more in one of the next 2 seasons. Dustin Penner will have more goals next year than Burtuzzi is going to have points.

    I think Brian Burke is the most overated GM in hockey. He won one cup with a team that was already built for him when he got there. I think Toronto should sign him so that the Leafs can miss the playoffs for the next 10 years while the Oil get better and better every year.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    I agree with Moony. Bertuzzi is junk now, whereas Penner will get better with time and is already outperforming big bert.

    Screw you Burke! How does it feel to taste the sweet embrace of defeat?

  • I'm a Scientist!

    I loved that look on Burke's face after the game. He reminded me of a constipated owl trying to pass a frozen puck.
    I think his team is a reflection of Burke. A arrogant, blustering, blabbering gas bag. So what did Lowe say about the Anaheim 1st round pick this year? 18th? I wonder if Lowe was giving high fives and pumpernickels all round after that game?

  • I'm a Scientist!

    In Lowe's last new conference he said he was pulling for Dallas. Depending on how far Anaheim gets in the playoffs the Oil could draft as low as 18 or as high as 30 if the Sucks were to win the S.Cup. He said he had been talking to the league offices and determined an early 1st round exit could mean an earlier. He also said it isn't finally determined until the playoffs are over

  • I'm a Scientist!

    I beg to differ with the math that says the Oilers would pick 18th. The last four picks belong to the participants in the East and West Finals, if I read things correctly. the next worst spots belong to any Division winners who did not make the final four, and the remaining playoff teams remain ranked by their regular season finish. As Anaheim finished with the best record of any non-Division winner in the league, the only teams that can improve our pick are Division winners that DON'T make the final four. Since two Division winners already cannot make the final four, the worst pick we can have is 24th. If NO Division winners make the final four that leaves the final four contestants and the six Division winners to pick after us, which means we pick at best 20th. The easy way to keep track is assume we pick 24th and improve that number by one for every non-Division winner that makes the final four.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Tim- All I can say is what I understood Lowe to say at the last newser. He did say the playoffs would have to end before the other skate drops when we will know for sure. Whatever the Oiler's (formerly Anaheim's) 1st rounder (acquired in Pronger deal when Ducks won S.Cup last year)it should be a lower pick but we'll just have to see how it all turns out. Best of all we didn't hand Burke a lottery pick for the Penner signing. Thank you Oil!

  • I'm a Scientist!


    that's awesome…..looks so good on ol' Quackie ….where's the hockey news now???? I think he payed Big Bert the $$$$ to keep quiet about the "hit". Screw Quakie, screw pronger. If Klowe had the class that Quakie does….he'd be out there talking about how he has ruined the ducks and how great he is and on and on…..LOVE IT!!!!
    Now, come on San Jose!!!!!

  • I'm a Scientist!

    IF Burke goes to T.O. as suggested by most of the eastern media it will be quite interesting to see how long it takes for a showdown to take place at high noon on Yonge St. His bombastic personality is likely to become an issue very quickly. What he will inherit is lots and lots of face time on the national sports shows and approx. 7 million assistant GM's second-guessing every move he makes. Has he ever seen a camera he didn't love? Also, he may have created a real mess in Anaheim by fining Niedermayer a half mil. That may give him some reasons to exit there stage left. The decision to make that move may have an impact for season(s) to come.