Sidney Crosby shaves rat off face


The Penguins are having a live press conference right now on their website featuring a cranky and clean-shaven Sidney Crosby trying to explain why he and his team are down 2–0 and haven’t scored a goal since PJ Stock became an analyst on CBC.

The burning question in our minds is has Crosby shaved the “beard” off his face because:

  1. A third grader can grow a better beard,
  2. He has given up on the playoffs altogether,
  3. Mario said to him “Listen you little sh*t, I didn’t rock a beard for one period of my career and I won two Cups. Shave that crap off your face and win me a game or you aren’t coming out of my basement till fall,”
  4. All of the above.