You wanna hurt Matt Greene? Try again sucka


The guy who hit Matt Greene with his SUV in 2006 was sentenced yesterday in an Edmonton Courtroom:

“Sean Robert Brooks, 26, has lost his licence for a year and must pay a fine of nearly $3,000, a judge ruled yesterday morning. Brooks had been drinking for more than two hours on Feb. 27, 2006, when he lost control of his Jeep Cherokee near Gateway Boulevard and 82nd Ave. He climbed the curb and rumbled up onto the sidewalk, hitting the six-foot-three-inch, 223-pound NHL player and hurtling him into a large powerbox.

Brooks then reversed into a stand of trees and shot across the three-lane boulevard, where he came to rest by the curb. He fled but was later arrested and charged with drunk driving causing bodily harm. Greene suffered serious bruising to his legs and other minor injuries, including a black eye. Crown prosecutor Dennis Chronopoulos told the court Greene’s peak physical condition prevented the injuries from being much more serious.”

Firstly, this stuff ain’t funny, and it’s lucky this wasn’t a more grave situation. We’re happy that Greene wasn’t injured more seriously. That being said the obvious springs to mind:

Tasteless jokes about Matt Greene being hit by a SUV

  1. Greene was made available to media after the accident and was quoted as saying “I am just glad that I was only hit by a car. Most people leaving the Whyte Ave area in an ambulance have been shot, stabbed or worse.”
  2. NHL Referee Kerry Fraser, who standing on the corner during the time of the accident, failed to stop the play stating “Brooks’ feet didn’t leave the ice, there was no penalty on the play.”
  3. When Joni Pitkannen learned of Greene’s injuries, he was immediately placed on the IR citing a “major emotional knee strain.”
  4. Greene later claimed “He has taken harder hits, and had he seen it coming the Jeep would have been taken away in the ambulance not him.”
  5. Green credited his training regimen created by Oilers’ training staff where he is regularly hit by Jeep Cherokees as part of the reason he was able to withstand a direct hit from a speeding Jeep Cherokee.
  • I'm a Scientist!

    Just to clarify, when you say that we are lucky this wasn't a more grave situation, you actually mean we are lucky it was only Matt Green that was involved and not Ales Hemsky. Right?

  • I'm a Scientist!

    i'm thinking if you really wanted to let a tasteless joke loose you'd have to make it have something to do with MacT. Anyone else know what i'm talking about? I tried to be subtle…

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Actually Matt I like to think that the people at Oilernation are a little more high brow than that.

    Which reminds me, did anyone hear the one about Robin Regher, the Catholic Priest and a Rubber Sheep?

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Matt – I like where your head is at. Fortunately, I truly believe that MacT would beat me to death, or worse yet have Billy Moores bore me to death, if I were to tell that joke.

    Rick – Wow, that comment brings tears to my one working eye. No one has ever said the words "high brow" with "OilersNation" unless the words "aren't at all" were also included.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    6. It was rumoured that Marty Reasoner was the driver behind the wheel of the Jeep Cherokee, playing a practical joke of "hit Greener with a SUV" on Matt Greene. In typical Reasoner fashion, he found some technicality where a drunk guy off the street takes the fall, avoiding any blame for himself. Team Reasoner 1, everyone else 0.