Calling all bandwagon-jumpers…

We have had four messages from buddies/readers that basically say, “WHOA, you can actually see the bandwagon start to fill up on the Nation right now can’t you? It happened in like a day! Bet you don’t want to fire MacT now do you Wanye, you wanker?”

Originally we thought, “Yeah WTF? We hate bandwagon jumpers more than we hate people from Norman Wells. And we hate people from Norman Wells.”

But after some re-reading of comments we realize that the bulk of bandwagon climber-onners are Citizens of the Nation who are die-hard fans who comment all the time. In our mind they have earned the right to be unreasonably optimistic if they so choose. It’s the folks that altogether ignore the Oil — or even worse diss them continually when they are in the toilet only to climb aboard the wagon when the team inevitably catches fire each spring — that we really hate. These bandwagon-jumping idiots can just go back to Norman Wells and spend their days combing their moustaches and watching Season 3 of Magnum PI for all we care.

Losers.

Now we have these bandwagon-jumping clowns saying, “But Wanye you wanted to see MacT fired and thrown into the street by the same RX1 ushers who throw out anyone who has more than half a beer in their possession. Now, you’re sending him daily boxes of toenails to show him your love. You’re a bandwagon jumper too just like us.”

Here’s the thing. We look at MacT like we look at any other appliance with a specific function. For the sake of argument let’s call him a hot plate.

Fig. 1: Coach MacTavish
Fig. 1: Coach MacTavish

If we have a hot plate and it’s working, life is good. We can heat up our beans, or some nice soup, or whatever we need to be hot at any given moment. We love the hot plate. But the instant that thing doesn’t bring our creamed corn to a piping hot temperature what do we do?

We throw out the hot plate.

Why? Because it no longer works. We don’t sit and try and convince the hot plate to do a better job. We don’t think to ourselves, “Maybe it’s the corn’s fault for not heating up,” or “Maybe it will work better in a few months.” We don’t blame it on the toaster or decide that tepid corn is an acceptable alternative. No. When the hot plate stops working we go and get ourselves a new hot plate.

Same with the coaching staff. You certainly don’t want a revolving door of coaches who are canned the instant the Oil fall behind in the first period of a game. Long-term coaching stability is good for a franchise — assuming they’re doing a good job. But at the same time if you have a coaching staff that is incapable of heating up the team beyond a tepid temperature in the long run, it’s time to get new coaching staff. All the people that say “Eight years of mediocrity ain’t it” are correct in our mind. Sometimes the old hot plate fires up for a few days and all is well again, but it doesn’t mean we won’t be price shopping for a new one and waiting for it to finally pack it in.

It’s not rocket science. We like our hockey like we like our cream corn. Hotter than a $3 pistol.

So going into the all star game we love all the excitement up in this piece because that old hot plate seems to be working again. But we still have one eye on the door in case we need to go to the store.

I think this is one of our most analytical articles to date. Ever call MacT a hot plate, Professor Willis?

Thought not.

Now if you will excuse us, we have a war to prepare for.

PS: four days till Gretzmas.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Antony Ta wrote:

    The Oilers improved performance has more to do with Hemsky than MacTavish. I would still fire him anyway.

    Does this have anything to do with beans? Get back on topic.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    But the instant that thing doesn’t bring our creamed corn to a piping hot temperature what do we do?

    We throw out the hot plate.

    Why? Because it no longer works. We don’t sit and try and convince the hot plate to do a better job. We don’t think to ourselves, “Maybe it’s the corn’s fault for not heating up,” or “Maybe it will work better in a few months.” We don’t blame it on the toaster or decide that tepid corn is an acceptable alternative. No. When the hot plate stops working we go and get ourselves a new hot plate.

    Sometimes this is hard for us, because it is very dark in the house and none of the lights seem to work. We have a hard time finding our keys. We are unsure if the stores are still open because all of our digital clocks seem to stop working. We are unable to find out where one would purchase a new hot plate because our computer has also stopped working.

    NONE OF THAT MATTERS. We will walk, if necessary, going from business to business until we find a place that is open and that sells new hot plates so that we can replace the old one.

    Of course, sometimes we then get home and find that the old hot plate is working again. We don't really know if the new hot plate will work – we couldn't really see in the store because it was dark in there, just like it was in our house when we left. Once, we thought we bought a new hot plate but it turned out that we accidentally bought a turntable. Rather than admit our error and use the old hot plate that worked, we went out and bought a third hot plate. Clearly, this was the correct decision.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Dropping Deuces wrote:

    I do notwant a recycled hot plate, I want a new one. The same place Washington found the Boudreau 2500 model.

    The trouble with picking up a new hotplate is knowing where to get one. It would be really great if there were some kind of big appliance market where you could go and pick up something that was guaranteed, factory-tested, and CSA approved; trouble is, it's not that easy in the NHL. All the factory-tested hotplates are under contract and the ones that are turning out piping hot beans every year are signed long-term. And it's not like you can go to your neighbor's house and say 'Hey, that's a pretty nice hotplate you've got there; can I have it?'

    So the alternative is to do what Washington did; go to the kid down the street and say 'Hey, that was a pretty nice cheese-slicer you built for the science fair out of a piece of hot wire and a battery. Think you could build me a hotplate?' and the kid says 'Sure.' A week later, you find out what you bought; maybe a functional hotplate at a great price, maybe a big insurance claim on your kitchen. You rolls the dice, you takes your chances.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    I note that JSBM has been removed from 'Voices of the Nation' at the top of the page, but then so has JW, so I'm not sure what's going on . . .

    Unless Amber has agreed to to triple her output with generous inclusions of profanity-laced statistics . . .

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Ender the Dragon wrote:

    I note that JSBM has been removed from ‘Voices of the Nation’ at the top of the page, but then so has JW, so I’m not sure what’s going on . . .
    Unless Amber has agreed to to triple her output with generous inclusions of profanity-laced statistics . . .

    Everyone is still on there – just not when there is a youube video as the picture. I looked in another article.

    Dana @ AgileStyle wrote:
    No, you’re looking at a wonderful mix of crappy IE, crappy Flash, and incorrectly inserting of a youtube movie into a post. JSBM are still there, they just appear behind the movie.

    @ Mark Martin:

    JSBM has a blog too – read it if you like…

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Travis Dakin wrote:

    @ BUCK75:
    holy man I thought the Nation was crumbling. Phew.

    Not sure about jeanshorts but we couldn't go on without baggy. At least I couldn't…:(

  • I'm a Scientist!

    I for one have said that from day one that I like MacT. I can't say that it has always been that way. He grew on me. I just find it funny that people were quick to say MacT is a bum. Yet… as it turns out, it was the players that had the issues. Not MacT. He was just trying to do his job while players couldn't get along.

    MacT for Mayor!!!

    ok. That did sound dumb. Sorry. But he is a good coach.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Ender the Dragon wrote:
    And it’s not like you can go to your neighbor’s house and say ‘Hey, that’s a pretty nice hotplate you’ve got there; can I have it?‘

    No, but you can trick your neighbour into throwing the hotplate out. Here's how: make sure the hotplate wins an award. The way the NHL goes through hotplates is it wins an award, then winds up in the blue bin the next year. So just lie in wait by the recycling. Don't forget the taser for the guy from the halfway house down the road who's had his eye on the same hotplate. I think he's from Vancouver or something.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Travis Dakin wrote:

    @ Smokin’ Ray:
    Don’t be so quick to forget about him using the wrong player in the wrong situations. That was all his fault.

    Only because the ones that were supposed to be used were not producing. I'm not saying I agree with what he does all the time. Just saying that I like him.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Smokin' Ray wrote:

    Just saying that I like him.

    Oh he's personable all right. I'm sure you'd like me if you met me too haha but that doesn't mean I would be a good coach. The guy has so many good points but some of the crazy ass decisions he makes baffle me. I do like how he stuck by Gagner though.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Smokin' Ray wrote:

    yeah. Like WTF with Reddox? I don’t get it.</blockquote

    EXACTLY!!!! Crazy…. Or waiting 38 games to figure out that Gagner and Cole might work together. Or that Penner is NOT a checker.