We won’t get fooled again


Just when you think things couldn’t get any more insulting to Oilers fans – it happens.

We were forcibly sat down late last night and made to listen to this Oilers appeal to the fans on Dan Tencer’s blog. If you haven’t gone and listened to it we can fill you in quite quickly. A bunch of Oilers who didn’t identify themselves – Horcoff was there (we would know his voice anywhere) and perhaps Gilbert,  Strudwick and even a Hemsky at the end? It’s neither here nor there – whoever they were they collectively made a flat and unemotional appeal to Oilers fans to be supportive of the team in the next 6 games in a clip with about as much production value as an OilersNation Podcast. They certainly didn’t sound like a bunch of players that were about to catch fire and start rag dolling teams in their final 6 games. They sounded more like tired and defeated hockey players who would rather have worn a beard of angry bees than face Tencer and his micromophone. This is at least an acknlowedgment of the gillions of Citizens of the OilersNation, albeit a strange way to go about engaging the good party people. But that too is neither here nor there.

After sitting down and giving it the benefit of the doubt we listened to the appeal three seperate times. Three seperate listens and we have one real take on the matter:

Are you serious?


“We the Oilers need you the fans, to cheer” they said. Uh, we need the fans need you the Oilers you to win some games!! If there is one party in the fans-team relationship that is failing the other we hardly think its the billions of devoted citizens of the OilersNation.

There is a touching part of the audio clip where the player reminisces about the fans on the route to the Cup run. Unidentified Oiler #2 mentions vague sentiments about how awesome it was when the fans would sing the anthem before the game. MY GODS MAN!! You do realize that you are basically rubbing salt in our collective wounds right? You do realize that we want nothing more than to get behind this team and cheer you idiots to 10 Stanley Cups in a row right? Invoking these memories as if to somehow suggest it’s the fans fault that you and your coworkers are anything short of bad right now is an absolute slap in the face to the hundreds of millions of fans that live and die with your every word. Rather than getting on the radio-blog thing and calling for support maybe you could go out there and earn it the old fashioned way:

Go out and play some friggin playoff hockey.

We would personally give our left testicle, 3 toes and half of our thumb if you idiots would win a Stanley Cup. So don’t you go on the air and somehow infer that we are letting you down in any way shape or form. It is you who is letting us down. Get that very, very clear in your collective minds.

Perhaps we too should go on the air and make attempted emotional pleas that come off insincere and self serving too.

“Please Oilers on behalf of the fans, please go out and play better hockey. You have no idea the lift it provides to all of our frozen spirits when you and your cohorts go out and play some decent puck. It would be just lovely if you could find it in your hearts TO PLAY SOME FUCKING PLAYOFF HOCKEY”

Playing the heart strings of Oilers fans in the powder keg of emotion we have going right now may not be the brightest idea guy-signed-to-gigantic-contract-starting-next-year. But if that is the game you want to play Shawn Horcoff, we will play along.

We have reached out to our vast network of criminal associates and have arranged tickets to tonight’s game against the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim. The fact we are going to drag ourselves to the game despite the performances we have witnessed at RX1 as recently as last game should say something about commitment. We will join the other 1.4 million committed fans who will be filing into RX1 or dejectedly plunking themselves down in front of a telematrix to witness the hockey match this evening. We are going with our boy MSG who is one of the most knowledgeable hockey fans and biggest Oilers fans around. The two of us sat side by side for the bulk of the games during the SCF run in 2006. We will do as you ask and will personally drink ourselves under the table (as usual) screaming and yelling all the while (as usual) while making off-handed quips much to the delight of our section mates wherever we are sitting. 100% positive and 100% believing as we have done since we were 4 years old and started watching your predecessors play. We will do as you ask Oilers, but know this:

If you show us the same effort you showed us when we attended the games against Minnesota, Buffalo and Chicago this year we don’t know what we can do next but it will be dramatic. Not that anyone really cares what we think, but WE care what we think and we won’t be able to look ourselves in the mirror at the bus depot in the offseason if we know we let you kick us again when we were down.

But OK Shawn Horcoff. You have earned the right to make an appeal to the fans. We will do as you ask and we put all the negativity on hold. We will try and encourage the other dejected Oilers fans we know to cheer as though it is a playoff game tonight. We have collectively gone to the trouble of buying tickets and everything so why not right?

You have now have our full and undivided attention Edmonton Oilers Hockey Club and we are going to come through in spades like Oilers fans do time and time again. But if you fail us, so help you Gods Edmonton Oilers.

So help you.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    The Towel Boy wrote:

    At least he didn’t go the “Insurance Salesman” route.

    When I read this, I just pictured the guy from Groundhog Day… "Phiiiil? Phil Connors????"

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Wanye Gretz wrote:

    @ Jay:
    I have taken a preliminary look at your calculations and they seem to be valid. We will need our resident scienticians to give this a read:
    Archaeologuy, Iamascientist! thoughts on this?

    The only other thing I could add to the formula is that any of the items on the list of the same Groan/Cheer value (from here on out understood as the symbols Ch or Gr)executed consecutively increases the value of Ch or Gr exponentially.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Librarian Mike wrote:

    Wanye, perfect choice of title. This is especially valid when the final line of that song describes our coaching/management situation perfectly:
    “Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss.”

    "And a [Eric Cole] on the left… is now a [Eric Cole] on the right… and the beards have all grown longer overnight…"

  • I'm a Scientist!

    @ Jay:
    Wanye Gretz wrote:

    Archaeologuy, Iamascientist! thoughts on this?

    *adjusts glasses*

    Well, after running the formula through my computer, and crunching the numbers i find that there is one missing part of the equation. Mostly Jay was correct, but he must have forgotten to carry the one.

    *clears throat and adjusts glasses nervously again*

    The missing part is this:

    Monkeys = cheering

    *awaits applause*

  • I'm a Scientist!

    I think we need to get a Nation party going tonight. If things dont go well, we can start chanting FIRE MACT, and it should be loud enough to get some attention.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Oh man there is no way Tencer monitors his own blog.

    "Wow…an absolutely overwhelming response…thank you! If you have time, be sure to read what fellow readers/listeners have to say; there's tremendous insight from some of those posts."

    Uhhhh….18 of the 20 comments are all, "this is BS"

  • I'm a Scientist!

    Well, apparently I'm going to the game tonight (a friend of mine got passed a couple really good tickets, else I wouldn't go to the game in person — I have a habit of getting seated next to the worst people generally). I plan to cheer like we're winning the cup tonight. Why? Why not? Its a win-win. I can either cheer because we're playing well, or because we're playing badly and its another nail in the coffin of the management's running of the team.

    That and apparently we're smuggling in hard liquor so I won't have to decide between the water-downed swill/beer and suffering through the crowd/game sober.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    The Towel Boy wrote:

    What’s the difference between a pixie and a fairy? Anyone?

    Ill try!!

    a pixie wears a really short dress as in tinkerbell, cannot reproduce and loves peterpan… when shaken emits "pixie dust" allowing gay people the power of inter dimensional flight

    a fairy lines up beside studley bomblauncher on our 5 on 3 and stands terrified of moving as paying people scream SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!, sadly can reproduce and also loves peterpan, when shaken pleads for the fans to cheer before emitting foul mucus like anal matter prompting nation people the choice of flee or be fleeced.

    I think.

    hey gregor careful on the GQ duds in the club… spiteful people lurk*

  • I'm a Scientist!

    I'm a Scientist! wrote:

    *awaits applause*

    sir, wait no longer because you've earned it.
    I'm faxing this work off to the Nobel commitee of Hockey statistics.


    Nevermind Corsi, +/-, G, A, P, SO, or even W, L, OTL. Ladies and gentlemen, we have developed a trackable stat that appeals to the whole world. These stats will even make it possible to compare players from different sports to each other (once we develop Ch/Gr values for Baseball, Soccer, and Football).

  • I'm a Scientist!

    @ Archaeologuy:
    Make sure you name is included in the nobel prize application form. The creation of the Ch/Gr factor is pure and simple genius. I knew there were smart people on this site before, but this is beyond my expectations.

    Even roughnecks description of pixie vs. fairy? Brilliant, and deserves some recognition.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    @ I'm a Scientist!:
    We cant leave out Wanye or Jay either. Well we could and people would take our word over theirs, but I can share a Nobel prize…unless they only give one medal to share. It better be like the Oscars where they make enough statues to go around.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    I still hope they'll do well and make the playoffs, but it's becoming more and more apparent that these guys would rather play golf than hockey. Hopefully Tambellini will clean house in the off season and get rid of all of the guys who consistently showed no "jam" throughout the season.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    *grabs some paper, an erasable ink pen and starts to compose his speech, making sure to thank both Wayne Gretz and the Academy*

    I hope the prize includes monkeys that are trained to shoot imaginary AK47's in the air as a celebration. It would be difficult to share that with the others because it would just be so damn cool. Sacrifices I guess. Jay DID build the foundation and 4 of the walls, all we did was put a roof on it and let it roll.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    humantorch wrote:

    What a crock of crap from an organization that can’t tell it’s own ass from a hole in the ground. This is some of the most insulting tripe this side of Pat Laforge that they’ve trotted out yet.
    Between this video and MacT insinuating in the Journal two days ago that the fans haven’t done THEIR part in cheering loud enough, I’d be taking my seasons tickets into the head office and burning them on Kevin Lowe’s desk before punching him in the mouth if I lived on the right side of the ocean.

    do you want laforges cell number????
    then all of ON can text him during the game and tell him what they think of this crap

  • I'm a Scientist!

    I don't understand why you would even mention Tencer's blog. Of course it was his idea…no other outlet had any mention of it… Just shows you again why Gregor's show is much better.

    His insight is way more realistic and factual, not to mention he can talk more than just the Oilers.

    Gregor not sure if you read this, but kudos on your show. It rocks…Now lets get to thinking about the game…Come on Oil…win PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

  • I'm a Scientist!

    There is a video clip at edmontonoilers.com. They sent it to me last night and I felt for all intensive purposes the same as you Wanye. I'll show up tonight I jst hope the Oilers do too!

  • I'm a Scientist!

    I saw this late last night and I thought it was hokey, pathetic and manipulative.

    And, I also think you guys missed an obvious title for tonight's gamethread.

    Death of The Salesmen.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    deepoil wrote:

    interesting to note that each round has its own pricing

    Shut up you douche! in 06 every round had its own price as well, and you had to pay all 4 rounds in advance then as well. And if you recall 2006 was well before Katz took over, so the increased price/round is not about Katz paying his loan or whatever other drivil you are trying to spill.

    Now shut the f*ck up with your anti Katz propaganda and get behind the team for the their biggest game of the or f*ck right off and quit posting here. This is an Oilers fan site, not a forum for the delusional.


    On another note HG scored tickets this afternoon and will be at game tonight and I will be heard cheering my beloved team on. It's a longshot we make the playoffs, but I have always cheered for the underdog.

  • I'm a Scientist!

    this is lame. the oilers are begging for people to cheer. maybe they don't understand how this whole fan thing works. all they have to do is try hard and people will cheer – they don't even have to win, just play like they are happy to be there. these bunch of knobs have the audacity to make a shitty podcast and basically beg for people to cheer for them? get real, i'll cheer when there is something worth cheering about.

    i have heard a lot of people say that they have lost interest in the team this year because it is just more of the same. more macBlender, more sub-par performance, more Reddox/Reasoner/Peterson on the first line. i would like to take it a step farther, i have actually developed a healthy HATE for this team. i wish so badly for them to lose now… i cannot stand to see macT fiddling with his rolex one more time. i cannot bare to listen to moreau go on about how the team needs to play harder and yet do just the opposite of that on the ice. i cannot stand the idea that dustin penner is going to be an Oiler for another couple of years.

    this season has turned me into an anti-fan. i follow the team with the same vigor as any of you, but with a different motive. i watch as though it were a gruesome car-wreck. i watch because i enjoy the mass-schadenfreude that occurs with after home loss. i watch because i keep hoping that Kevin Lowe will come down from Mr. Katz lap and rip MacTavish's head off Mortal Kombat-style. why can't this season just be over so we can get rid of Mac, Huddy, Bucky and Billy?