It seems there is finally a trade rumour about Sheldon Souray that wasn’t written by a hopeful Oilers fan, desperate to conjure up a scenario to get Big Sexy on the first thing leaving the International Airport.

The Columbus Dispatch is reporting that the Blue Jackets may be interested in doing a deal.

As was astutely pointed out by CurtisS this morning: 

"Not to derail the thread but lots of speculation today about Souray going to the Jackets. First Rishaug and now this."

THIS

As it turns out is a lengthy piece discussing the merits of trading Souray to the Blue Jackets for Mike Commodore.

"The Dispatch has learned that there have been internal conversations within the Blue Jackets about trading for Souray, a three-time All-Star with record-setting power play ability and one of the most feared slap shots in the NHL.

The likely candidate to be traded by Columbus would be Mike Commodore, the club’s highest- paid defenseman.

To be clear, there is no deal on the table between the Blue Jackets and Oilers. If there have been talks between Blue Jackets GM Scott Howson and Oilers GM Steve Tambellini, they have not been extensive or specific, The Dispatch has been told.

The Blue Jackets want to see how their defensemen look in the early stages of training camp, both in terms of how they’ve improved over the off-season and how they adapt to new coach Scott Arniel’s go-go-go system. But Sunday’s injury to defenseman Kris Russell could speed up the process"

Commodore is signed through the 2012-13 season at salaries of $3.8 million, $3.5 million and $3.35 million in his final year for a cap hit of $3.75 million according to NHLNumbers.com. Souray has two more seasons remaining at $4.5 million per year and a cap hit of $5.4 million.

BUT WHAT DOES TWITTER THINK?

Ryan Rishaug tweeted something to this effect earlier today:

"Russell hurt in columbus. 2-4 weeks. Souray trade more likely? Probly premature, but they’re a possibility. Commodore back? All speculation"

Meanwhile we were tweeting this:

"Was anyone else as excited by the picture of Justin Bieber at Hooters on the cover of the Edmonton Sun today?? #whatatown"

While LeVar Burton of TNG Fame was tweeting this:

"Avast, mi Mateys! I be headin’ to the pub now for a bit o’ the grog… Arrrgh!"

Now we could sit here and chatter away about the resulting Bieber arguments on Twitter or the excellent role model that Pirate Burton has become in retirement, but really all you want to read about is

ENHANCED VISION LEVEL ANALYSIS

The initial euphoria of the prospect of sending Sheldon Souray packing quickly wore off when we realized that Commodore was a part of the 2006 Carolina Hurricanes team that cheated in the Stanley Cup Finals and forced the Oilers to graciously place second in the league that season. No player on that roster has any business suiting up for the Oilers at any point in their careers.

*Someone leans in and whispers in ear*

Yes, we know damn well Erik Cole played on that team. How did that go for us?

*more whispers*

Gerber was the backup? Son of a gun. (whistles loudly)

ANYWHOO

If that is the case and we are bringing over the greatest enemies of the last 10 years by the boatload, why not Mike Commodore. Is he a fair trade for Souray?

As a matter of fact:

WHAT IS A FAIR TRADE FOR SHELDON SOURAY?

In a word: anything.

You could tell us that the Oil get to pitch Sheldon Souray and all we get in return is a bag of bees. That trade should be considered a win. If all we got in return was that a randomly selected group of Edmonton men would be subjected to Japanese Gameshow torture – it is still a good deal.

Anything is better than having an asset that sexy and that expensive sitting on the shelf with the impressionable New Boys reporting to work.

Souray for Commodore? Whatever.

Sure.