Yesterday we collectively looked into the abyss and decided who our Goats were going to be for the 2014-15 season. It’s a grim experience deciding who is going to be the fall guy for the inevitable woes in the season ahead. Should you make a mistake and name someone who has a good season your Goat? Yikes.
Fortunately today we get to pick our Star. Rarely do you make any mistakes involving Stars – excluding this unfortunate gal of course.
PICKING THE STAR
Picking the Goat gives you someone at whom you can vent your eternal Oilers related rage. The Star is quite the opposite. The Star is someone to pin your very hopes and dreams to. His greatness is often the single ray of sunshine in an otherwise interminably cloudy season of ice hockey (see: Oilers, 2007 to present)
There was some suggestions around the Nation HQ that I should go with a different player this year. “I think you should name Eberle your eternal star, then pick another player” came one suggestion. “I agree Wanye,” said another, “spread the love around and pick someone new.”
JORDAN EBERLE FOREVER
What the hell is going on with you people? Did we just meet? Did you forget who you are talking to? I am not allowed within 150 feet of Regina because of my love of Jordan Eberle. When I log in to shop.nhl.com a special box pops up that says “Welcome Wanye, click here for only Eberle crap” because of my love of Jordan Eberle.
I am banned from downloading MS-Paint, demanding gap tooth enhancement surgery from any more Edmonton dentists and have made a formal application to the Government of Canada to change my name to 14 because of my love of Jordan Eberle.
As long as I am drawing air in my lungs and my lump of coal for a heart pumps blood there is only one star:
Jordan Eberle.
LOOKING BACK
Allow me to quote myself back in 2010 on Star Picking Day:
Picking Jordan Eberle – a 20 year old rookie who hasn’t played a single game in the NHL – might seem like a bad idea. But on a team with more teenagers than a Justin Bieber concert, going with youth is probably the best move. We feel it is extraordinarily important that everyone understand that Jordan Eberle is going to be our boy. He’s ours dammit. Go get your own Jordan Eberle. This one is all ours!
It’s like being friends with Nostradamus isn’t it? I’ve been singing the Eberle song since day one. I ain’t changing my tune now – no way no how.
LETS GET SERIOUS FOR A MOMENT
All hyperbole, jokes and elective surgery plans aside let’s take a look at why Jordan Eberle is the best. Since being drafted in 2008 all Jordan Eberle has done is be a shining example of all that you could ask for in an Edmonton Oiler. It has been a true pleasure and the highlight of the last 6 years of Oilers hockey watching 14 play 275 games in the NHL and put up a tremendous 221 points in the process.
In an era where athletes are selfish buggers who could often give a tinkers cuss about their community, teammates and team itself – ol’ 14 has gone about establishing himself in the NHL as a legitimate star, a gentleman in the community and ostensibly a demon in the sack.
Unlike others on the roster we have never heard a single negative word about 14 from anyone who has come within 100 miles of the guy. Teammates, media, fans and random citizens of Edmonton alike have nothing but glowing reports about Eberle’s character and his on ice performance speaks for itself.
There are no issues with him from top to bottom. He is now easily the best all around Oiler since Ryan Smyth gloriously retired with the C on his chest where it belonged.
JORDAN WITH KIDS
Let’s take pause and look at some pictures of Jordan with some children shall we?
Yes. Look at him here taking a moment to pose with a tot. He hasn’t even finished his coffee!
Even tiny fans of the Red Sox know a Superstar when they see one. What a guy.
JORDAN IN COSTUME
Remember when he went to Vegas with the Nuge for the NHL awards and dressed up in the Cirque du Soleil costume???? I have never been more thankful for the invention of full body lycra suits than I was that day, I’ll tell you what.
Guess who?! This costume and fake moustache do little to conceal the juggernaut within. I pick Jordan Leslie Eberle for the Halloween win.
IN CLOSING
We have had a scare this offseason haven’t we Jordan? People were suggesting you were on the chopping block and could be potentially traded. We kept getting texts and tweets from dark souls saying “your boy is gonna get traded you know.” Many a shudder went down my spine.
But thankfully that wasn’t the case and now we can get back to the business at hand – you kicking ass and me taking names.
Until you retire and we open that Detective Agency in Papua New Guinea that we are always talking about, I am going to cheer mightily for you each and every night Sir.
Good luck in the season ahead. You are a Champion of the highest order and I salute you.
STARS THROUGH THE AGES
Here is a look at my star selection on an annual basis. I still shake my head at the Erik Cole pick.
2013-14 Jordan Eberle
2012-13 Jordan Eberle
2011-12 Jordan Eberle
2010-11 Jordan Eberle
2009-10 Mike Comrie
2008-09 Erik Cole
2007-08 Shawn Horcoff
2006-07 Ryan Smyth
2005-06 Chris Pronger
Nail Yakupov! YakCity shall rise again
I wanna pick 3.
Forward: Yak City!
Defense: Marty MacMarincin
Goal: Benjamin theprofessor Scrivens!
I’m drinking the kool aid, and it tastes so sweet! It’s going to be a great year ladies and gentlemen.
Every fall,
It’s gotta be Hall,
He is the best,
Heads above the rest,
He kicks Eb’s ass,
Since his face scar is first class…
Hall is a given. But only Captain Obvious would pick him as the star. I really want to see Eberle get to that next level. Gonna have to go with Wanye on this one.
You have Gagner listed as your Star. Tisk, Tisk, On behalf of the Nation, I hear by revoke your Star naming rights for the up coming season.
BUSTED! Holy man do I have to update that profile.
*Wipes cobwebs and dust off profile*
Holy crap I’ve been an Oilers Nation pirate for 5 years!
Its gonna be a YAK ATTACK,
in the NHL and AHL.
Viktor. Fasth.
Will become our no. 1 within the first 30 games and won’t look back for the next several years.
Draisaitl. He knocks it out of the park with 25 goals and 50 assists. Who knew?
I’m going to go with a risky one: Schultz
Ballsy. I respect that. I think that “Norris” talk of MacT’s might have some motivating power.
+1 for Pouliot. These fancy new competent players will do wonders for helping this team become mediocre.
For the win on Oilers Nation I’m going with the kid that you can’t help but smile along with when you watch every single Nail Yakupov interview ever made!!!
YAKCITY
None other than the beauty NAIL YAKUPOV!!!!! The kids got the swagger back … WOOOOOOO
$))))))))))))))))))))))
luke gadzic, he’s gonna teach them boys how to be men.
Hall’s just too good not to pick as the star. Although if Eberle could grow an epic ‘stache like that Alfred fellow in the picture above he might be able to channel the power of Lanny MacDonald and Harold Snepsts into All-Star territory.
David Perron. This will also make him highly, and I mean Highly!, sought after throughout the year. I hope he retires an Oiler myself.
Look for a career high again. I predict 34 goals, 27 assists, 61 points. Teams will take Halls points into account; almost like a handicap of sorts. They wont be as prepared for Perron and company.
Oilers NHL 2014/15 star is David Perron
How can I argue with anyone as respectably named as BaggedMilk?
Yak has an amazing bounce back year and tallies 30+ and finishes +2 on the year.
NUGE
If the oilers are gonna have any success Nuge is going have to turn into a #1 center.
He is gonna knock it out the park this year!
Got to go with my boy baby Nuge all the way. I will always stand behind him no matter what. I guarantee Nuge puts up a 90 – 100 point season because of course he’s setting up two great wingers but they are being fed by the catalyst of the team. As I believe ryan Smyth once said “he sees the game a lot like Gretzky did”
As Panger would say: “Holy Jumpin'”
This is what Kool-Aid overdose looks like.
Perron all day. More heart than the entire team combined last year.
YAK CITY !!!!!!
Nail Yakupov because I want him to stick it to the media. Yak is going to turn it around.
Nail.
I am digging the Schultz pick.
We have the analytics. We have the capability to build an NHL defenseman.
Justin Schultz will be that defenseman.
Better than he was before.
Bigger. Stronger. Faster.
And it won’t even cost 6 million dollars.
The avatar pic says it all – Yak for the win!!!
(And no, I’m not changing this to a #10 – this jersey is going down as a classic collectable)
I don’t know who this Wayne fellow is but I think he’s the start after this one. But really I think yak. He’s gonna have a grand old year
Boyd Gordon.
Wanye?
Erik Cole?
Seriously?
That was rock bottom.
I chose Yak! The kid’s heart is bigger than anyone else’s on this team! More of his teammates need his brand of ‘give-a-sh$&-factor’.
Yak city!
More heart than the rest of the team? Are you serious? I like Yak and Im routing for him bigtime this year but didnt he cry to his agent about having to “skate alot” and “back check”?
Whining about having to skate and hes a hockey player. That is not heart
Jeff Petry, because Corsi