I hate to be the bearer of bad news, and to ruin everyone’s week on a Tuesday, but something truly heartbreaking happened this morning.
Reporting that former Leafs, #Oilers #OKCBarons Mark Arcobello has signed 2 years with SC Bern (NLA). https://t.co/lvlElKyho1
— Patricia Teter (@Artful_Puck) May 31, 2016
I’ll give you all a moment to let that sink in.
Yes, the nightmare has come true: Mark Arcobello got so sick of playing for the Leafs that he has fled to Europe to seek asylum. It’s a devastating day for Oil Country, witnessing one of their greatest heroes head for the chocolate filled hills of Switzerland. But let’s not mark today with sadness; let us celebrate all the great things Marcobello was able to accomplish during his time in Edmonton.
NOVEMBER 24, 1905
Mark Arcobello arrives in Edmonton via the brand new Canadian National Railways line. Shortly afterward, not coincidentally, Edmonton is named the capital of Alberta.
FEBRUARY 13, 1947
The first major oil deposit in the capital region is discovered, marking the beginning of the oil boom in Western Canada, and cementing Edmonton as the “Oil Capital of Canada”. The man who discovered all this black gold? Mark Arcobello.

SEPTEMBER 15, 1981
The ribbon is cut on the world’s largest shopping mall, West Edmonton Mall. Developers originally wanted to call it The Mark Arcobello Super Centre but Arcobello refused, citing concerns people would confuse it with his personal home, and not realize it was, in fact, a giant shopping mall. “Even if it was my house, everyone would be invited over anyway” Arcobello later told the Edmonton Journal.
MAY 19, 1984
Mark Arcobello, Wayne Gretzky, and the rest of the upstart Edmonton Oilers defeat the New York Islanders four games to one en route to their first Stanley Cup win, ending the Islanders dynasty and beginning a new one in the City of Champions.
NOVEMBER 5, 2013
After spending three seasons in the AHL, Mark Acrobello needs only 17 games before he pots his first NHL goal. “THIS IS THE FIRST OF LIKE 2000 CAREER GOALS” we scream to an empty apartment.
DECEMBER 27, 2014
Mark Arcobello plays his last game in an Edmonton Oilers uniform. He is traded to the Nashville Predators for veteran centerman, and Yak Whisperer® Derek Roy. At the time of the trade Arcobello has 7 goals and 5 assists, which I assume was the team lead in both categories, as this is the 2014 Edmonton Oilers.
A forlorn blogger puts together this video tribute; an entire city weeps.
#MARCOBELLO4EVER
Mark Arcobello would go on to play 61 more NHL games split between the Predators, Penguins, Coyotes and Leafs. He would finish his North American career strong, putting up 59 points in 49 games with the AHL Toronto Marlies, before helping them reach the Eastern Conference finals of the AHL playoffs.
Arcobello was a very competent bottom six player for the Edmonton Oilers, who could easily handle spot duty up with the top six. Undersized and undrafted, Arcobello was able to carve out six solid seasons of professional hockey in North America before heading off to find greener pastures filled with expertly crafted timepieces littered throughout the Swiss Alps. He was a fun player to root for (even in a Leafs jersey!) and we wish him all the best in his future endeavours, wherever they may take him.
Godspeed Mark Arcobello; may your spirit live on in the hearts of Oiler fans everywhere!
Good article, but I would have expected something entitled, “A Brief History” to have at least some accounting of what type of underwear he wore during his playing days.
That’s the rub; he also invented the modern day “commando” style!
Anybody else find themselves calling him “Marco Arcobello” all the time? Just me?
Always thought he sounded like he was named after an old timie European explorer– maybe he’s seen enough and going home to report his findings to the Queen of Spain and obtain the best chocolate for the new arena when it opens?
Maybe he finds an even better way to trade spices and textiles with the Orient
Am I way out to lunch? I thought that was his actual name when he came into the league and changed it to “Mark”.
Surprisingly, no, he;s just boring old Mark.
I invented the Marco Arcobello name…although I always assumed Arco Bello Was two words.
Too bad you can only trash a comment once. Stfu
Marcobello, the prototypical AAAA player.
Lol! Some entertaining Photoshop work on this article.
I’m an unabashed Arco fan. He was a rare pro-scouting win for this organization, and it still frustrates me how we traded him for a player (Roy) we could have claimed on waivers a day before for free. People said it was to clear NHL contracts for the big trade that was coming up…that never came up…and we had 3 or 4 contract spots at the time anyways. Throwing away found money = bad asset management. Glad that management team is gone.
Arco got more that a cup of coffee in the NHL after working his way up from the ECHL which is a very rare feat and he should be proud.
Good for him. Anywhere has to be better than Toronto, No?
Getting paid to play hockey in Switzerland doesn’t sound like a bad gig at all.
Whether you’re an NHL player or a construction worker Jeanshorts prefers that you’re adorably mini.
He scored his first NHL goal when he was more than 100 years old. That has to be some kind of record right? The Legend.
Mark Arcobello is not bound by the rules of space and time like we are.
Space-Time…..Jeeze jeanshorts, are we a little behind on our physics journals? 😉
Too bad that the upcoming WHC doesn’t have a ‘Team Lollypop Guild’ that he and Sam Gagner could co captain.
Off topic, but this needs to be said:
If someone told me in January that Justin Schultz would get an assist on the first goal scored in the first game of the 2016 Stanley Cup Final I would have told that person they were on drugs.
Yet here we are…
A goal scored by Mark Arcobello no less!
I could actually see Arcobello fitting in with the penguins on their 4th line in Matt Cullen’s spot.
Tough choice between him and Cullen though.
Best ON comment I’ve ever seen. The Arco Part, So good.
Not only that, he played 18+ minutes and was +1. All this is after just 3 months of proper development.
Atta boy Jeanshorts. A lot of work put into this on a really slow news day.
*speaks super loudly so the bosses can hear me* YES I PUT IN A LOT OF WORK TODAY THANK YOU FOR NOTICING AND APPRECIATING IT!
Mark, I’m sorry about those games when I was really mad and I intentionally mispronounced your name as “Fartosmello”, it’s just really hard being an Oilers fan sometimes.
D*&%it, i just spit my beer all over my laptop. Fartosmello, classic.
Seeing as he wore 62 and 26, they both should be retired which means Pakarinen and Gryba would be wearing different numbers next year. They could have a double jersey retirement ceremony where they pull off their jersey’s revealing a new number and give their old jersey’s to Arcobello like Bourque did back in the day with Esposito when he switched from 7 to 77. Although with the Oilers luck they would just reverse the numbers and Pakarinen would be wearing 62 while Gryba had 26, thus accomplishing absolutely nothing at all.
Sad to see a legend go. I thought he passed away with how this article started out.
Haha me too!
Glad he’s still kickin
Someone has to be the new face of the NLA with Matthews coming to the NHL. I wonder if the chance to play with Derek Roy had anything to do with his decision to sign in Bern?
Sign the Man! Honest question, is he better than Lander?
No mention of the pasta dish named after him? Penne Arcobello – a spicy marinara sauce with large chunks of yellow and green peppers and grilled chicken strips. A staple at fine Olive Garden locations across Canada.
Thanks for nothing Jeanshorts, the headline made me think he met an untimely and violent end…
Oh great another 3 months of this…..’Horks and spits’
Trust me, I’ll be posting even DUMBER stuff during the season!
I have faith in you, sir!!
Arco could teach Eberle a thing or two about effort and defensive play!
PS: Sooner have Arco than Lander and Testube.
Next story should be another Norris legend who is about to deliver another Cup to the kid Sidney.
Funniest article low you low tide
Mark-e-Markobello will be missed from the files of North America and may he teach all the undersized players of Europe to be effective hockey players
Playing pro hockey in Bern, Switzerland has got to kick some serious ass. Good luck, Mark Arcobello!
I was in a shipwreck once back in the early 50’s, thought I was a goner. I spent 17 days floating on a piece plywood. Luckily, Mark Arcobello was out waterskiing being pulled by 2 great white sharks.
Thanks again for dragging me home mark, good luck in Swiss!!