Over on Twitter, Connor McDavid announced that he’s doing a Q&A with Gene Principe and I know how valuable his time is, so I thought I would answer as many of these questions as possible so that he doesn’t have to.
Before I get started, I wanted to mention the thing that teachers sometimes say when they talk about “there are no bad questions”, because let me assure you that this question thread is proof of the contrary to that statement. Some of you are asking horrible, terrible questions and our beloved Connor just doesn’t have time for that. Luckily, your boy Baggedmilk is here to speak the truth, have some fun on a slow news day and get to the bottom of some of these questions that will likely go unasked and ignored during the actual Q&A.
Your on my bucket, is there any change I can take a picture with you?#GoAsksConnor— Gary Carvalho (@79gfc) July 13, 2017
You’re probably going to have to work harder than that, Gary. I understand why you want a picture with Connor but this probably won’t get it done. BTW what kind of bucket are we talking about? Four gallons? Five?
How many points did you get when you were 13 #GoAsksConnor— Adam Teryek (@ATeryek) July 13, 2017
I’m going to go out and say that he would have no idea, but the default answer is likely in the ballpark of ‘a shit tonne.’ If the asker of this question is a 13-year-old hockey player, it may actually be better for his self-esteem to not find out the real answer.
at a young age did you wish to pursue a career in hockey or did career opportunities just come to you and you tried them out? #GoAsksConnor— leila (@seguinstars) July 13, 2017
At first, I heard that making the NHL was a fallback career for Connor just in case his snake milker plan fell through. He also wanted to be Drake’s hype man but that spot had been filled so he had to look for other ideas. From there, the legend goes that he applied for a job in the NHL when he was 17 and was lucky enough to get picked first overall.
What's your daily calorie intake? #GoAsksConnor— Chris Gordeyko (@TheNationChris) July 13, 2017
Honestly, I think Chris is just looking for someone that eats as much as he does. Chris will often bring in three or four lunches to Nation HQ and I’m guessing that he asked this question in the hopes that an athlete at the top of his game ploughs through even half the amount of food that he does.
Sure. Stub Hub is usually pretty good about that kind of thing.
#GoAsksConnor how did u decide on #97?— Jason Pedersen (@pedersenJR) July 13, 2017
I can’t believe you don’t know this, Jason. He’s a big fan of when Spain granted Puerto Rico autonomy on November 25th, 1897.
#GoAsksConnor How Does it feel to have the biggest contract in the NHL?— Joe (@danglesnipece1y) July 13, 2017
I’m sure it’s horrible. Frankly, I’m surprised that he didn’t push the contract away and say no thank you.
if the number 1 pick had the choice to pick the team they wished to play on, which team would it be? #GoAsksConnor— Cosmo Palermo (@CosmoPalermo) July 13, 2017
“Please like my team.”
Wanna give me some of your skill? #GoAsksConnor— Josh Olson (@JOlson_77) July 13, 2017
I don’t like the sounds of this one and would avoid this guy at all costs because I’m not positive that he’s not actually Shang Tsung hiding behind an anonymous Twitter account. Pull the chute, Connor. He’s after your essence.
Why did they cancel King Of Queens after only 9 seasons? #GoAskConnor— GoodOneRandy (@hockeydummy34) July 13, 2017
I'll ask you now, does Pierre McGuire creep you out? #GoAskConnor— HabsFan24Cups 🇺🇸 (@habsfan24cups) July 13, 2017
You and I both know the answer to this. Don’t make Connor say it out loud.
Would you come and play in Toronto if you got the same contract as now?— Nick Belej (@belej_) July 13, 2017
I love that Leafs fans won’t let the dream die. Get over it, bruh. Enjoy your lesser prospects and admire McDavid from afar like everyone else does.
What was going through your head during your time with your ankle injury?— CDN11PRo (@Cdnxboxchamp) July 13, 2017
I’m pretty sure his thoughts were, “I wish I could trade this broken collarbone for an ankle injury.” That said, I’m no anatomy expert.
Why did you look for a paycheck instead of taking a discount to keep a competitive team together?— Mike DiRienzo (@pensfan2169) July 13, 2017
I didn’t know he signed for the 20% max that is allowable under the CBA? Oh wait, he didn’t do that, did he? This is the kind of guy that thinks you should be allowed to have a Rolls-Royce on a Honda Civic budget.
Why did you turn your back on leafs Nation #trader— Slim (@Luke01114230) July 13, 2017
I just wanted to include this one because of how sad Leafs fans are about where he wound up. The saltiness sustains me and will continue to do so for the next nine years.
Honestly, I could have gone on forever with these questions but I have a life to live. Some of the heaters that people were throwing out there were so dumb that I actually had to re-read them just to make sure that I could understand what was being asked. The moral of the story is that some people need to learn how to use Google or that Twitter needs to install some kind of skill testing question before a tweet goes out. Either way, I’m just happy that I was able to take some of the pressure off Connor and answer the questions that had no chance of being responded to. Adieu.