14 AND 93 AIN’T NOTHIN TO FU*K WITH

 

Despite the fact that Jordan Eberle and Ryan Nugent-Hopkins were defeated tonight in their bids for glory at the NHL awards we must put this in perspective. The two wonder studs are no joke – and most teams in the league would trade away most of everything for either of them.

To have BOTH players in the lineup is an embarassment of riches that will be discussed in hushed and reverent tones by panels of talking heads for a long, long time.

Believe that.

These fellas – with a combined age of 40 years you haters out there – are but beginning in careers that will ultimately be as productive as any Oiler circa 1990-2012. And who knows, they may start chipping away at some of the records the old fellas have collected in the all so distant 80s too.

It is easy to get caught up in the perpetual woes of Steve Tambellini and Co and the hilarious back end and goaltending debates that occupy so much of our time these days. But we must never forget what these two bring to the table and remember that no level of buffoonery in the Front Office can really impact what these two are going to do in the coming decade.

Like seriously, what are these two worried about on the horizon exactly? Diamond shoes fitting too snuggly as they lumber aboard their private jets? Exhorbitant long distance bills as the womens from all over hells half acre call them morning noon and night seeking amourous conversation?

Having to graft on extra fingers 11 seasons from now so they can wear all of their Edmonton Oilers Stanley Cup rings at once?

We won’t go so far as to lob the cliche "YOU SUCK BRIAN CAMPBELL" and/or a quick "GABRIEL LANDESKOG IS FOR THE BIRDS!" No, the Nuge can’t be exposed to such negativity at such a young age. He needs to be lured back into his home gym with little Nuge sized weights and left in complete silence and positivity for the remainder of the summer.

Eberle needs to go back to bench pressing Volkswagen Jettas and eating glass in preparation for next year. If he wants to have two –  no wait THREE – beers this summer to cool off he has our official permission now that the strain of the awards season is behind him.

And we will say that the NHL Awards may want to reserve the front row of the arena for Mr. Eberle and Master NUUUUUUUGE for the coming decade.