Belgians don’t understand hockey and can’t fix the Oilers. Neither can Kevin Lowe, apparently

 

Now Kevin, we love a good joke every now and again. But humour has a time and place. And this is neither the time nor the place for jokes.

Seriously.

WTF?

If we “do a hockey trade?” Has it been so long that you’ve forgotten the terminology associated with “moving out a bunch of crap players as a package for a better player making the team capable of making the playoffs?”

You remind us of this kid in our 6th grade class, Gabor. Ah Gabor, with your love of ice cream and your big copper ski jacket that you would wear and we would all call you Duracell cause you looked like a battery. Oh, we would laugh and laugh and laugh… (wipes eyes) Gabor was from Belgium, you see, and for some reason or another couldn’t follow hockey at all. Couldn’t play floor hockey, couldn’t skate and used to call hockey “ice hockey” as though the field hockey community in Edmonton was so large that you had to clearly distinguish which sport you were talking about.

“Hockey?” people would say to one another, “Ice or field, ’cause I’m confused. Both are such awesome sports.” Gabor didn’t get it, and we’re starting to wonder about you K-Loweezy.

Where just exactly is your head is at these days, oh fearless leader? Lowe states that the Oil don’t have much to move because they have “got a lot of injured guys right now and a lot of young guys that we like.” How in the hell can that be the case? The last time we looked the Oil have to win 12 games in a row just to be able to make the claim that they are in the playoff hunt. We can only imagine that a team like this must have a lot of bright spots for a GM to point to and say, “Oh yeah, that’s working great.”

The 4th line has scored five of the team’s last 20 goals down the stretch drive.
“Oh yeah, that’s working great.”

23rd in the league in scoring.
“Oh yeah, that’s working great.”

24th in the league in goals against.
“Oh yeah, that’s working great.”

Seven points out of a playoff spot.
“Oh yeah, that’s working great.”

Didn’t make the playoffs last year either.
“Oh yeah, that’s working great.”

A brand new boss on the way who wants to win and must be itching to make changes.
“Oh yeah, that’s working great.”

This team has some injuries, sure, and has some good potential, sure, but if we’re sitting in 26th place in the league with no hope, and we have nothing to trade, we’re like Paris Hilton at the LA Raiders training camp.

We’re screwed.

Do a hockey trade. If not for us, for Gabor.