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UPDATED: BIG THINGS POPPIN

Wanye
By Wanye
12 years ago
"Now do it, you better do it, you better do it. Hey whatchu waitin for? Now do it, you better do it, you better do it. Hey whatchu waitin for?" – T.I
Steve Tambellini is taking a page out of a GM who makes moves book and is doing all sorts of things today.

MOVE 1: BEN EAGER

 
The day began with the Oilers signing noted pugilist Ben Eager to a three year contract worth $3.3 million dollars. Eager was drafted by the Coyotes 22nd overall back in 2002 and has been a bit of a suitcase in the past few years playing for Chicago, Atlanta and San Jose. All that comes to an end and the player who led the NHL in penalty minutes in 2006-07 season will be an Oiler for the forseeable future. 

MOVE 2: DARCY HORDICHUK

 
See this adorable fellow with the even cuter puppies? Well that’s Darcy Hordichuk who also joined the Oilers today on a one year contract for $825,000. But don’t let the dogs and the smile fool you, Hordichuk is a bruiser and will beat you down on the way to a fight.

MOVE 3: CAM BARKER

The Oilers continued to toughen up on the back end today signing Cam Barker to a 1 year $2.25 million dollar deal. The two time Gold medalist at the 2005 and 2006 World Juniors has been plying his trade in Minnesota after being drafted by the Blackhawks 3rd overall in 2004.

MOVE 4: SOURAY GOES TO DALLAS

Saints be praised! The Dallas Stars have gotten substantially more injury prone and definitely more cancerous in the room with the addition of Sheldon Souray. Dallas has needed to do something about their defensive corps for a couple of seasons now but inexplicably they have done this instead. Enjoy your time in the Big D Sheldon!

MOVE 5: OILERS INK BELANGER

Tambellini finally addressed the fact that the Oilers haven’t won a draw since October 1997 with the signing of Sexy Centreman Eric Belanger to a 3 year deal for terms currently undisclosed. Note: this is actually him. SPICY!

MOVE 6: OILERS TRADE FOR SUTTON

Andy Sutton 6’6 765 pound donkey that can hurt everyone and anyone at the same time. Kurtis Foster seemingly good guy with a cannon shot and has remarkably bounced back from that horrific injury where his leg was made into cheeze doodles. A win for the Oiilers to be sure.

RUMOR MILL

The twitters are abuzz with rumours, speculation and innuendo. One particular tweeterer @treenasoil has been correctly predicting all sorts of things today and for some reason she poses in her altogethers in her twitter photo. Darren Dreger ain’t got nothing on her!
She claims that the Oilers came close to making a deal today:
Oilers came close to trading Coglino and Gilbert to the Rangers for Dubinsky and a draft pick.
And also lays claim to the Oilers having serious talks with former Oiler Jason Arnott.
It must be July 1st – because we are filled to the very brim with optimism and joy. Further updates will be right here as things unfold.

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