Championship weekend

A select group of athletes brought a trophy home to Canada this weekend and will be celebrated for all eternity as the Champions they have now become. Statues will be commissioned in their honour, national holidays will be declared and years from now, towns will be renamed.

Of course we are talking about the World Sledge Hockey Championships which ended with the Gold Medal Game on Saturday in Charlottetown, PEI. For the second year in a row the Canadian squad faced the dreaded Norwegians and for the second year in a row the Canucks rained blows upon their Norwegian esels winning 7–0.

According to the Globe and Mail: “Greg Westlake of Oakville, Ont., and Marc Dorion of Bourget, Ont., each scored twice for Canada, with Bradley Bowden of Orton, Ont., Todd Nicholson of Kinburn, Ont., and Billy Bridges of Summerside, P.E.I., adding singles. Paul Rosen of Thornhill, Ont., earned the shutout in the Canada goal.”

Well done, gentlemen. You have done your country proud. Here’s to a three-peat in 2009—and let’s hope it’s Norway that gets the short end of the sledge stick in the finals again. Those bastards.

After all you know what they say in Norway:

We can hear some of you right now “But Wanye, how come you didn’t watch no Grey Cup and instead are talking about field hockey?” Firstly, it’s sledge hockey not field hockey. We have witnessed one of these games live at JP Arena and we can tell you that these dudes have heart—they put the NHL to shame. The battles for the pucks are extraordinary.

The CFL? Not so much. What do you want to hear?

What a Grey Cup! How many field goals were kicked? Seven? Fantastic! This is a much superior team to the Stampeders squad that beat Winnipeg in 1992. Don’t even get us started on how much better they are than the 1948 club that beat Ottawa. Tell us: did reserve half-back Demetris Summers see any action? He didn’t? Dang nab it!

We would rather listen to the new Guns n’ Roses album for a month straight than write an article about a game we would have had to pretend we watched. And that says a lot cause we would rather have a 10-day vacation in the Bowden Correctional Facility than listen to Chinese Democracy.