The first epic battle of the year. If something epic happens from here on out, it happens for real.

MPS nets a hattrick? He is up 3-0 Ovechkin. Eberle gets 4 assists in a single game? Break out the ghosts, the rides and the whips. There is excitement in the air today. Real honest to goodness excitement.

It’s Game Day Bitches.

We have had to supress an overwhelming sense of Squee in these here preseasons. We somehow managed to watch every minute of every game to date and though it is clear that the Oil are going to have some holes – like the entire defensive corps and all eleven goaltenders – there is cause for an extreme case of hope-itis.

Remember how much suck it was last year when the team was 100% brutal? Remember how frustrating it was when ass hats like Nilsson and Patrick O’Sullivan would just mail it in night after night?

Well we have a whole bunch of new Oilers now. Good ones. Young too. And they are just itching for a lineup to dominate and are thrilled to be playing in the NHL.

These kids develop for a couple seasons and all of these bleeding heart free agents that wouldn’t have touched Edmonton with a ten foot pole will be lining up to sign discounted deals to "play with a winner." And we will allow them, in our infinite compassion as Oilers fans.

But they will only be hired guns – not really one of us.

"Us" begins tonight.

 

 

That Ladies and Gentlemen is your opening lineup.

 

If this team is going to play Exciting Last Place Hockey™© and collect FIST overall at the 2011 Entry Draft it is going to be important to make our own fun. As we have had to do for the past few seasons watching the team slide into the old crapperoo, it is going to be on us all again this year Nation.

Before we get into Game Day mode, leave some predictions for the year. What is going to happen? Who is going to score on the other team? Who will pass the puck to the guy who scores on the other team? How will the Oilers Ice Hockey Squad finish vis-a-vis the other Ice Hockey Teams in their Conference?

We have already written off the season before it begins but we also guarantee it will be the most fun year since the Oil went on The Run. Here is what else we will predict:

During the course of this season, we predict that we will consume over 70 – count em 70 – beers at Rexall Place. With an expected attendance of 12 games that will be an average of five per game. Ignoring some sort of liver failure or kidney shut down, this is going to be a good season for your ol’ pal Wanye.

Look at them all there –  condensed on the outside and carrying illegal amounts of alcahol on the inside. Look how blurry that picture is. That’s how our eyes are going to work when we are peeping at the ladies too this season.

Flame wars, twitter wars, calling out the media, fans of other teams and anyone who works within 500 feet of the Edmonton Oilers. It is going to be another season of hilarity across the board, the soaring traffic on the Nation will ensure it.

The sheer number of people who are putting real thought into entertaining themselves completely independent of the product on the ice is at an all time high.

Welcome to the Fun Mothership Nation.

Let the season begin.

Oilers 4 Flames 2.

Flames Fans can be found here. Perhaps you’d like to say hello.