GDB 37: No threats on horizon

When we got our tickets to tonight’s game we told ourselves “we will witness a win at RX1 this weekend come hell or high water.” And we guarantee that this will be the case. See, we went to our first Oil Kings game last night and witnessesd what (we remember to be) a 4-1 win. And it was during this game that it became apparent that the Oil Kings staff are working their collective butts off to provide an entertaining evening for their fans.

Prize giveaways, a mascot and an awesome funky fresh dance break once a period where everyone gets to stand up and Vogue their hearts out. That’s some gangster shiz. Oh and did we mention baby races?

It was pretty much as it sounds. 8 babies on a special baby racing track on the ice during the first intermission. The winner got a $500 Baby Gift Certificate or something from ATB. Probably the best display of athleticism we have seen at RX1 since the beer vendor fell down three steps in our section in 2007 and didn’t spill a drop of beer (true story.) Unlike falling beer vendor 2007, Baby Races 2008 were rigged – given half a chance your ol’ pal Wanye could have destroyed the baby that eventually crawled his way to victory.

You may be asking yourself “why on Earth is Wanye telling me about all of this garbage?” For a simple reason Nation. The Oil Kings charged people like $3.46 per ticket and they tried their damndest to put on a good show. Skating, shooting, scoring, cheering, dancing, and racing babies. What a night. The Oil are going to be charging hundreds of dollars more tonight and we bet that a lack of racing babies won’t be the only thing different between the two games.

What else should we talk about? Hemsky being half dead? The fact that the best player on the team was destroyed by a clown from Nashville and he wasn’t beat within an inch of his life? The fact that little T up there would be viewed as more of a threat than the pop gun offense that the Oil are throwing over the boards these days? The fact that the Oil could potentially win tonight but even that won’t give us enough confidence to scream fearless playoff predictions at the bar later?

The fact that we will still be standing and cheering against all hope because we have rocks in our head?

Want to waste your time with any of that? 

Two teams.

One owner.

One is still trying to entertain the troops during a ball freezing January. The other?

Not so much.