Hilariously lame quote, hilariously awesome game

“It was like ’80s night tonight,” said head coach Craig MacTavish, after Edmonton outlasted the Los Angeles Kings 5-4.

Oh, MacT! When your career as an NHL coach comes to an end, and hopefully this is soon, you should TOTALLY become a stand up comic. You’d tell jokes, we’d sit in the audience nude under our rain coat and we would laugh and laugh and laugh. Sometimes, when we watch MacT talk to the media, we can tell he didn’t wear a helmet when he played the game. But on a night like last night, who cares? We were at the game, getting the $400 beers in us, and damn it, they tasted good. Nothing beats victory beers.

Hemsky kept it oh-so fresh with those two goals; he’s at 17 on the year now, lambs. We didn’t think we’d see Ales Hemsky put 17 goals up on the board unless two seasons of his stats were combined. He collects assists like Justin Timberlake collects notches—but his scoring is starting to pick up which is sweet. He’s a *c* hair away from being the true-blue star the Oilers would have us believe he has been for the last three years.

Credit where credit is due: K Lowe was smart getting Hemsky locked up for four more years. We can all enjoy his lighting of the lamp without having to wonder what it’s going to cost the Oil in a new contract. The kid might not have the best grill in the world—that chipped tooth can be fixed, playboy, you make $3,600,000—but he brings the heat.

In other good news, did anyone happen to notice that Hossa got injured 13 shifts into his first game with the Pens? Har har har, wouldn’t it be a delicious bowl of irony ice cream if the Pens traded three players for a guy who played two periods, got hurt and then signed somewhere else in the summer.

Somewhere like Edmonton?

Mmmmm Irony Ice Cream.