NATION, WE NEED YOUR HELP EVALUATING THE INTERN
By baggedmilk
8 years agoA photo posted by baggedmilk (@himynameisbaggedmilk) on
For those of you that don’t know, we hired an intern named Chris a few weeks back and we need your help evaluating him. On the night of the draft party (June 26th) we asked Chris to write an essay to explain why he’s a good intern, and why he thinks he did a good job. The essay was due on Monday – it is now Friday.
Part of my job here at the Nation is to include you guys in as many different things as possible and the evaluation of our interns is no different. It’s about creating a show within the show. As such, I want to bring you inside Nation HQ as much as humanly possible without having you actually stare at me in person. Today is one of those days where I’ll be relying on your judgement.
Aside from getting us coffee and refilling the water cooler we ask Chris to do things like get out there and be a man of the people, and to be our eyes on the streets. To put it another way, Chris the Intern is like your very own window into what’s happening at Nation HQ. He will be your man on the street, your man inside, and the man that will give you free stuff if you harass him long enough.
One of the first tasks we gave Chris, when he started, was to lead the charge at the draft party, interview some fine citizens, man the door, and get into the mix whenever possible. He did that, and he did a good job of it. Well… later on in the evening (as the beers were flowing) we asked Chris to write us 500 words on why he thinks he’s a good intern and why he thinks he did a good job at the draft party. It took him seven full days to finish.
As you can imagine, we thought it was funny that 500 short words would take so long to write. Quite frankly, this rambling nonsense leading up to the essay is FAR more than 500 words and I just banged this out in 15 minutes. Needless to say, we have not been whipping the intern nearly enough or nearly as hard as we should be. This blinding lack of foresight has left us feeling as though we are unable to accurately evaluate said intern – that’s where you come in.
Below is the essay that Chris the Intern submitted to us this morning. What I need your help with is to read the essay and evaluate it on our behalf. We’re tainted, and we need fresh eyes to take a look at this thing. I ask that you let Chris know what he did well, and maybe let him know that writing 500 words over the course of seven days is a pace that even a snail would laugh at. “Look at how fast that snail is going. Slow down, man!” I imagine Chris saying as he types away.
THE ESSAY
So here it is… This is the piece of art that took seven whole days to complete. As a thank you for evaluating Chris’ work (or lack there of) we will be picking five random commenters that provide constructive criticism to win a random NationGear tee. Now put your English professors cap on and let him have it…
Sorry, Chris. This is for your own good.
My first week at OilersNation/Why I did well at the Draft Party:The Best Damn 500 Words You’ll Ever ReadAlright, somewhere in the middle of the Draft Party I was challenged by @golfun13 to write 500 words on the party itself, and my work as a Nation Intern. Personally, the memory is a little foggy of that night, and for all I know he’s making this whole thing up. However I just wrote 50 words in a filler sentence so this thing shouldn’t be too bad.My first week at OilersNation HQ was like winning the Draft Lottery… peachy! I received an extremely warm welcome from everyone in the office, as well as all the Nation Citizens online. The most intimidating part of my entry was definitely JeanShorts’ beard, and BaggedMilk’s mysteriousness. The week was focussed on Draft Party prep, and all the classic introductory training stuff.I had a blast at the Draft Party, meeting and talking hockey with everybody. The most fun I had during my sober part of the night, when I was still on the clock, was interviewing and chatting with people during the Between Two Gregors segment. Everyone at the Pint that night proved how passionate the City of Edmonton was about the Oilers, OilersNation, and Connor McDavid.Besides that time, I’m pretty sure nobody in the building knew who I was, especially because everyone was yelling at BaggedMilk, calling him the intern. Besides, I was busy during the night being WanyeGretz’s decoy. Wearing his nametag around the bar made me feel way funnier than I actually am… thanks Wanye! I’m not even sure if Wanye was in the building that night or not, but it was a fun time watching people try to decipher if i was him or not. The best comment I heard was “you’re too young to be Wanye.”How am I doing… 315 words so? Easy peasy! I hope the title is included in this word count. As far as the rest of the night went, I just remember that I had a lot of drinks come my way. Had a solid time getting to know the Nation Citizens better, as well as the Nation staff. I wish I could have hung on later than 2a.m. and got some #noodz after, but my body was shutting down already, and I had an early morning the next day.400 words? Let’s wrap this up. I don’t really feel comfortable talking about how awesome of a job I did during the Draft Party… even though I killed it! But if the guys really want to hear it, I was and will basically be the best intern they will ever have in their lives. Give them a month and they won’t even remember that one time I was a week past the deadline to hand in my essay. Hell, I might even start refilling the water cooler and flushing after I use the toilet once in a while.Where are we at? 502 words? Once again, @TheNationChris exceeding expectations. *Drops mic. Chris out!
All jokes aside, I want to thank Chris the Intern for being a good sport about this and helping us out with anything and everything we need him for. He’s got a good sense of humour and he fits in with our group of misfits quite nicely so go easy on him, he’s just a kid. If you don’t want to go easy on him than let him know just how bad of an intern he is on his Twitter account at @TheNationChris.
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