NATIONRADIO: THE BIG SHOW

This is not Lowetide. While the picture above was taken before colour technology was widely available for your trusty Kodak, which would make Allan Mitchell about 39 at the time, it is actually yours truly, circa about 1985 at old Memorial Arena in Kamloops.

As you can see, I was an astute observer way back then (the play is at the opposite end of the rink from where I’m looking but I’m fixated on Rob Brown combing his hair on the Kamloops Blazers bench) and, thus, I’m older than dirt just like Lowetide and just as qualified to host a radio show, which is what I’ll do Saturday at noon on TEAM 1260.

With Lowetide recovering at home after having his lips surgically removed from the backsides of all the advanced stats types from around the hockey blog world he insists on booking on Nation Radio week after week, I’m taking over the microphone for the next two shows.

So, while you won’t hear anybody whispering sweet-nothings into the ears of guests with kooky mathematical takes on the game of baseball hockey if you tune in, you will get me — I’ll be wearing my Jeff Deslauriers jersey from the Greenville Grrrowl era — in full-blown monotone and what can only be described as an impressive roster of guests for 120 minutes.

Assuming I can get the phones to work and that Ross MacLeod doesn’t lock me out of the building after the first segment with Oilers chief scout Stu MacGregor goes horribly wrong because the stupid buttons on the big panel won’t work, here’s the show.

— I’ll open with MacGregor and, borrowing from Mitchell, we’ll go over again what a bloody genius he is. That, or we’ll talk about the depth of organization talent drafted over the past three summers and get his take on the rookie camp in Penticton and where he sees the kids slotting in as 2011 training camp approaches.

— I’ll talk to goaltender Devan Dubnyk in our second segment. Is he ready for primetime?

— We’ll open the second hour with defenseman Ryan Whitney. I’ll ask him about the status of his ankle and try to find out if his broken heart will ever heal now that’s it’s obvious Tiger Woods is a spent force.

— Our second segment in hour two will be with Sportsnet play-by-play man Kevin Quinn, who just inked a new deal worth $35 million to call Oilers games for the next five seasons. More important, we’ll talk about MSM and the blog world. He’s got some strong opinions.

— I’ll dedicate our third segment in both hours to taking calls and reading e-mails from listeners, so if you’ve got something to say you can call us at 780 426-8326.