Oilers lose in shootout, Jani Rita blamed

What exactly are we supposed to feel after the 5-4 shootout loss against the caps? Up 2–0 on a couple of quickies in the first, we felt good. Really good, if you know what we mean. “Just found out that a Victoria’s secret model moved in next door and you got X-Ray binoculars for Christmas” kind of good.

Then the wheels fell off the locomotive. Down 4–3 going into the third, we cursed the day in grade 1 that we decided to abandon Ninja Turtles in favour of hockey equipment, and became interested in hockey. You don’t lose 5–4 to the Capitals. Each and every Oiler got cussed out at OilersNation HQ. From Hemsky to Garon, Stortini to Souray. Everyone felt our collective wrath. We were even cursing players who aren’t even Oilers anymore, like former first-round draft pick Jani Rita.

Where the hell are you, Jani Rita? You were supposed to be a good player. The Mighty Oil selected you 13th overall in 1999. You know what kind of responsibility that brings? We picked YOU Jani Rita, over Havlat and Zetterberg, who was picked 210th overall that year. 210th!! You know how good Zetterberg is? WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?

If Jani Rita had any heart, the Oilers wouldn’t have surrendered the 2–1 goal last night in the second period, Jani Rita would have scored in the shootout, being our fourth shooter. If Jani Rita wasn’t such a douchebag, we would all be sitting around in Jani Rita jerseys saying “Thank God the Oil, signed Jani Rita to that long term deal. He is only 26, and you don’t want to lose a talent like Jani Rita to free agency.”

We hate you Jani Rita, we hate you so much.

(Number of times “Jani Rita” mentioned in this post: 12)