The death of .500 hockey and Cross Colours Jeans

We remember when we were in junior high and wearing Cross Colours clothing was the bomb. Anyone in the Nation remember Cross Colours? Ah yes, if you rocked a T-shirt, you were pretty cool. If you had jeans, you were definitely hip. If you had a sweater, you were no joke at all. If you had the jacket, you were a force to be reckoned with during recess football.

But then one day everyone started to wear the C&C. The market was flooded with cheap knockoffs, you could buy fakes at those stores in the mall. Suddenly the whole school was wearing the same thing, and though they looked funky fresh, it didn’t mean anything anymore. Soon, we had to find something new to show you were cool and the fashions changed.

The same path to lameness seems to be happening these days with .500 hockey. Remember when it used to mean something? Remember when a team could point to .500 hockey and say “Look! We are playing at .500, all is not lost!” Coaches and commentators alike would say “Look at this team in all its glory. Behold the funky fresh look of playing at .500!”

Well, sure as the guy at the bus stop still wearing purple Cross Colour jeans isn’t cool, .500 hockey no longer means you’re a good team. Ten short years ago, when the 1997-1998 season drew to a close, twelve teams had records under .500. This year there are only four. The Lightning, Thrashers, Panthers and Kings are the only teams that can’t break the .500 barrier.

Should we all get together and decide that .600 is the new .500 hockey? ‘Cause if 26 of the 30 kids in your class are wearing the same thing, it ain’t that cool anymore. The Oil won again yesterday against Columbus and for this we are grateful. They are seven points out of a playoff spot, yet they are 1 game over 500. This ain’t how it used to be.

It used to be that battling to .500 put you in the hunt for a playoff spot. Now you just look like every other kid in your class.