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Why you should hate the LA Kings

alt
baggedmilk
7 months ago
I don’t think I need to give anyone reading this reasons to hate the Los Angeles Kings, but with the playoffs set to start in a few hours, I think we could all use a few ideas for fuelling the rivalry. And since we’ve only got a few hours left to build out this rivalry, I think we can all use a few more ideas to inspire our LA-based hatred.
Seeing as tonight will be the first playoff game with fans in the building that we’ve had since 2017, I’ve decided that we can all could use a quick list of ideas to make sure that there’s plenty of hatred in the tank to fuel the rivalry between these two Pacific Division combatants. Frankly, after seeing all of the love the Kings have been getting all season after no one expected them to do anything, I found myself annoyed that they were even able to sneak into the dance in the first place, and that means finding new and creative reasons to hate them for the duration of this series.

THE RECORD

                 A L L    G A M E S                  
 DECADE:         W-L-T  Win % GFPG GAPG          
 2020's:          6-2-0  75.0  3.3  3.1 |         
 2010's:        14-28-0  33.3  2.1  3.2 |       
 2000's:        20-14-2  58.3  3.1  2.8 |       
 1990's:       34-30-14  52.6  3.5  3.5 |       
 1980's:       52-26-14  64.1  5.2  4.0 |
Table from mcubed.net
Look at the record from the 2010s in the table above and tell me that doesn’t give you horrible flashbacks to a time when the Oilers would get absolutely dummied any time they went to California? I mean, back in those days, every Cali road trip meant a world of hurt for our beloved squadron, and even though things have turned around in this head-to-head battle since that time, I’m a guy that holds a grudge and would love nothing more than to see our side lay the boots to a team that was so rude and inconsiderate of our failed rebuild attempts for so long. Here in 2022, I want to see the McDavid-led Oilers pay the Kings back for all of those long winless nights with a series of performances that makes them question whether they even want to play the sport anymore. I want to see them suffer. I want to send Dustin Brown off into retirement with a crushing defeat fresh in his mind. I want revenge.

THEY’VE WON RECENTLY

Not to mention, the Kings have won the Stanley Cup relatively recently and that tells me that they shouldn’t even be given a chance to win another. Even though 2012 and 2014 seem like a long time ago at this point, I’m old enough to remember when the Kings were the toast of the league and those are memories that can start to be wiped away with an Oilers victory in this series. Call it schadenfreude or whatever you want, I’m happy to see the Kings sucking and I would love nothing more than for the Oilers to drop a turd in the punchbowl that is their playoff aspirations.

SHOWING UP YOUR EX

Listen, I’ll always have love for Todd McLellan. Not only was he the first head coach to bring us to the playoffs after the Decade of Darkness, but he also refused to play Evan Bouchard in his draft+1 season, which was a move that kept him safe from the expansion lottery while also extending team control for another year. Those are two pretty sizeable green flags that I have beside his name in my own personal Oilers coaching history, and I’m not one to forget a thing like that. That said, I’m telling you with peace and love that I will absolutely enjoy his demise. Despite the remaining fondness for our former friend, this is a situation that reminds me of dealing with an ex-girlfriend in the sense that you always want to see them do well, but maybe not that well. It’s worth mentioning that McLellan is also the guy that dinked Jesse Puljujarvi around a little bit in his first tour of duty with the Oilers, and I can think of no better way to exact revenge than by coming up with a big series win to show ’em where the bear shits.

THESE HELMETS ARE HORRIFIC

I don’t know who thought the chrome space buckets were a good idea or that anyone would want to see them, but they look ridiculous. I don’t even know that I really need to say a whole lot apart from just pointing at the picture above, ya know? I mean, if the Oilers were wearing space domes like this I would honestly be embarrassed for them, and that is certainly the way I feel for whoever thought these would be a good idea.

WAYNE GRETZKY

I don’t even have to say anything here. We all know why.

THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW IT’S THE PLAYOFFS

Ryder and Lisa from Play 107 called countless LA businesses this morning to see how excited they were about the playoffs and not one (NOT ONE) spot they called even knew what they were talking about. I mean, I know California isn’t a traditional hockey market or anything, but to not even know that the NHL Playoffs are starting tonight and that their team is involved? For shame, Los Angeleans. For shame.

ANDREAS ATHANASIOU

I kinda forgot Athanasiou exists tbh, but now that we’re here I feel like this dude coming and going in only 13 meaningless games is another reason to take our frustrations on the Kings. Not only was Athanasiou a non-factor in the short time he was here, but we also gave up two second-round picks to acquire him. I know that’s not Athanasiou’s fault but I’m certainly going to blame him for being invisible on his end of that transaction.

CARTMAN CHEERS DON’T MAKE SENSE

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Yes, I’m talking about Eric Cartman from South Park. Why the Kings have him trying to rouse the crowd at the Crypto.com Arena doesn’t make any sense to me, and I say that as someone that started watching South Park back in 1997. Why is he there? Are Kings fans so bored that they need really Cartman to tell them when to get excited? Not to mention, shouldn’t Cartman be cheering for the Avalanche since South Park is supposed to be in Colorado? Yes, I understand that the South Park Studios are in the Los Angeles area, but it still DOES NOT MAKE A LICK OF SENSE TO ME.

BETTER LAIT THAN NEVER

I dove into a lot of Kings talk on the latest episode of Better Lait Than Never last week. Subscribe on SpotifyApple PodcastsGoogle Podcasts. 

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