Fletcher speaks, people laugh

Cliff Fletcher, GM of the Maple Leafs and the oldest man on Earth, recently told Sportsnet that he’s happy with his roster as they head into the 2008–09 season. Cliff Fletcher saying he’s happy with the Leafs is like the Captain of the Titanic saying “I know we just hit an iceberg, but I’m confident that the violin players we have on board will guide us to safety.”

It just doesn’t make sense.

“The keyword for the Maple Leafs management and coaching is going to be patience,” said the 109-year-old Fletcher. “You can’t force things to happen—you have to let them unfold and happen at their own pace.”

We can speed things up for you, Cliff, ‘cause we know time is of the essence—you may not have a lot left. Toskala and Cujo are going to be brutal. Bryan MacCabe will leave at the end of a bayonet, and sadly there will be no one to replace him. The “signings” that you made in the off-season—Finger and Frogen—aren’t going to amount to anything.

Things will happen at their own pace. Just like the Titanic, the Leafs will go straight to the bottom and there you shall rest.

  • Don't knock Cliff. When my dad was a kid he was a great GM.
    Is it Cliffs fault that the Leafs want to suck harder than they ever have ever sucked before? Does Cliff own the team? Cliff has about as much authority as Garth Snow.
    The real culprits are the Ontario teachers pension fund. They are a waaaay better owners than Ballard was! You can tell by all the cups they have won. Oh, wait a sec…
    I hope they educate better than they run a hockey team.

  • Gotta disagree on the Toskala quip. Vesa is the only thing this team will have going for it. It'll be like watching Luongo play in Vancouver. Goalie tries to salvage some semblance of a season, but forwards can't score. In truth, the Leafs would be better off to trade Toskala to another team for youth if they were really committed to a re-build, because Toskala will not be at his full potential in 8 years when the Leafs may make a run, thanks only to the greatness of Luke Schenn.

    Speaking of Schenn, they better not wreck this kid's career by playing him this year. I want to see him wearing the red maple leaf and not the blue one this year.

    I'm curious to see who Wilson throws out there as his first line centre this year, because I seriously can't think of anyone who can handle it. Matt Stajan? That's the best I can think of, which is pitifully sad. I feel bad for poor Alex Steen, he deserves better than this.

  • 3 sure fire signs of Cliff FLetcher's senility;

    1) When he implimented his plan to rebuild the Leafs, he only got as far as tearing the existing team apart before getting too distracted by Murder She Wrote re-runs to actually start building it back up again.

    2) Jeff Finger

    3) He is seen talking into his calculator as if it was a cell phone. When asked about it, he replies "how do you get these new fangled gadgets to work again?"