Q: What is the worst Oilers game you have ever seen live?
A: December 16, 2008 — 9-2 vs the Hawks. And this is amazing remembering we had season tickets with Grandma Gretz during the dark years. The really truly dark years circa 1992-1998. In those days the Oil would get blown out most nights. But to be fair they sucked.
These Oilers? We don’t even know what they are anymore. We even felt for MacT after the game. There isn’t a bag skate hard enough to fix this squad. If you’re him and you’ve walked around the dressing room screaming and yelling, you have punched every Oiler directly in the face (Garon twice) then what? It doesn’t really matter how the Oil bounce back tonight against the Canucks. The Oil need a heart transplant, mass firings, mass hirings, every single player mentally reprogrammed, a new arena, a new coach, a new GM, new training staff and a mascot.
You know what we love?
Being point night for the friggin’ Chicago Blackhawks. Not the Red Wings. The Blackhawks. Not a team like San Jose filled with wily veterans and big ol’ goons. The Blackhawks — a fellow squad also filled with punk assed 19-to-21 year olds. Thing is, the punks in Hawks jerseys were laughing and celebrating after every goal like it was a WHL intrasquad scrimmage, while our little friends in Copper and Blue were thinking only of getting in to Diesel Ultra Lounge later in the night.
Well done Oilers you have truly embarrassed yourselves. And on Handbell Anthem Night to boot.
To be fair
To be fair the first seven goals were suspect. Really they could have gone either way. Right.
To be fair most fans really aren’t that upset this morning. See everyone had cleared the hell out of Dodge as soon as the 50-50 was announced. Like seriously everyone. And the millions watching at home were probably long gone by the time the score was in the books too. Only the JL kept ‘er goin all night long. Bless their hearts.
To be fair Liam Reddox had an assist. You’ll forgive us if we wouldn’t give two shits if Liam Reddox woke up this morning and decided to never play another game of hockey ever again. There is nothing more heart breaking than listening to the remaining 45 per cent of the RX1 crowd cheering their hearts out for the 9-2 goal.
Only bright spots
The pictures from the game last night are pouring in from Citizens of the Nation. Apparently there were some folks that managed to keep their eyes open and dinners in their stomachs long enough to send their ol’ pal Wanye some great snaps. Keep them comin’ to firstname.lastname@example.org. We will have some up later in the day.
The most interesting thing on the whole night was finding out a friend of our co-worker once hooked up with 50 Cent. Something about living in Washington and something something 50 Cent met her and bingo bango. Normally we would lead with news of this magnitude but today, well we just don’t have it in us.
There. You finally broke us Oilers. Thanks.