APPEASING THE DRAGON

 

In the absence of anything interesting happening, we will discuss uninteresting things that are on our brain today. If not for a brief escape from the day to day mundanity of the work week, but to appease Ender the Dragon who emailed us earlier with a message:

“Do you think that just because you have real writers on the site now that excuses you from contributing from time to time? Get off your high horse Wanye, put on your powdered wig and robes and report to the courthouse . People need judging.”

These sorts of inspirational messages are one of the reasons Ender is one of our favourite Citizens of the Nation, along with Natalie Portman, who we imagine reads the site on an hourly basis and wonders what we look like nude.

We look damn fine Natalie, but now isn’t the time.

Not with all of the interesting things going on in the world of Ice Hockey:

RETURN OF COMRIE

We saw a list on TSN the other day that named Mike Comrie as one of the players that has departed from the Oil during the offseason. Is this actually the case? We can’t find any mention of it anywhere else on the telematrix, despite watching hours of Big Brother hoping for an update.

Is Comrie going to return? Does anyone in the Nation other than us even care?

With the news that ol’ Raff “Daddy” Torres has signed with the Canucks for a mere 1 million dollars, one has to wonder about Comrie’s value in the offseason.

Look at em both last year:

If Comrie’s salary demands are in the million dollar range, we have to think that one of the three Cali teams will take a chance on the guy for a year or two. This will not only allow him to settle into his Nick Cannon-esque role as husband in close proximity to Duff, but will also allow him to be within an hour of any casting calls he may need to attend.

Or he may be returning here again courtesy of another deal personally wired up by Dear Leader Kay-Z himself. Who the heck knows in this day and age?

If you were a betting person, what would you bet he will do next year?

We will put it to a poll.

THE PLAY BY PLAY MAN

So finally the quest has come to an end and the Oilers have finally named their new play by play man with the announcement that Jack Michaels of Alaskan Fame will be replacing Rod Phillips at the start of the season. You have to love how the Mighty Oil have kept this process a state secret the entire time.

One has to stand back and admire the moxy of 30th place team in the NHL playing their cards this close to their chest, as though giving the fan base something – anything – of note during the selection process amidst a long offseason could compromise their efforts.

Yes, in the absence of any moves of note to actually help the product on the ice, the Oilers have kept everyone out of the loop despite the unusually high level of interest by the rabid fan base.

We have to wonder why the Oil wanted to keep the short list secret. Would it really have had any impact on the selection process? Would the Flames have swooped in during the 11th hour and stolen away the new guy? Would the Devils have offer him a 17 year contract too? Why keep it on the down low?

Just to be dinks to the fans? Good grief.

In any event, good luck Mr. Michaels. We will be listening.

LADY GAGA TONIGHT

 

If anyone in attendance at the concert tonight at RX1 sees a guy trying to sneak on stage to dirty dance with LG during her performance of Paparazzi, let out a mighty cheer for your ol’ pal Wanye.

Is she really a Lady? Or as many suggest is she a guy in drag? There is only one way to find out Nation and that is by completing a thorough inspection up close and personal like. 

That’s the problem with these superstars nowadays. All hats made of hair and no public gender verification. No matter, hopefully "she" has been enjoying all of the letters we have been sending her daily and that big box of hair we Fed Ex’d over on Valentines Day.

See you tonight Gagaloo.