SRSLY WTF?

Ah pity our beloved Edmonton Oilers, down and out by November 18th. That has to be a record around these parts doesn’t it? Much like this here 2 legged cat going for a stroll, we can’t quite figure out what we are looking at when we watch Oilers games of late.

FIST SOME ASSUMPTIONS

We have never been of the belief that the Oilers were going to be a playoff contender this season. Indeed one of our two off season nightmares consisted of the Oilers competing for 8th down the stretch only to miss the post season by 2 meagre points.*

A season of that variety would be far worse for the Franchise than this current stretch of shitaneously bad hockey.

But having set our collective sights on last place, how can it be that the Mighty Oil somehow falling short of even that? Where is the compete level? Where is the fire? Where are the defense for the love of Jordan Eberle?

Lowetide and Brownlee can soothe our tattered nerves with their articles of logic explaining that this is all part of a rebuild all they want. But games like last night have to raise some concerns – even if the goal is to land squarely on the bottom of the league and stay there for the rest of the year.

Is this what you look like year one into a rebuild? How long is this going to take? Will the Nation celebrate it’s 6th birthday in 2013 without a single playoff game in the books?

It makes a fellow simply want to cry it does.

LOOK SOUTH

We can’t help but compare the wicked Edmonton Oilers to the stupid Calgary Flames as a yard stick of crap. If you have been too busy cringing for the past few weeks and haven’t had the sack to look at the standings in the West – the oh so haughty Flames are in second last place, a mere 3 points ahead of the Oil. 

Heh heh heh. You stupid Flames. Look at you down there all laden with all your "veteran talent." Our defensive corps looks like a Bantam AAA tryout whereas you have a small nation’s GDP tied up in defensive salaries. How many points has that bought you? Three? Hilarious.

The result of this terrible hockey down south? FlamesNation is getting tremendously interesting and everyone is running around like chickens with their heads cut off in full panic mode. 

What with the Kings tabling a secret offer for Jarome Iginla and calls from the fans to blow the team up and start again starting to rain down from the rafters. It positively warms the heart.

It must be nice to have a choice in the matter and be able to debate a rebuild. Up here, us long suffering Oilers fans were forced to witness the team ‘asploded from the inside simply because 30th place was the lowest a team can physically fall in the NHL without a team plane crashing.

WITNESS THE DEBATE

FlamesNation writer Robert Cleave wrote a really interesting piece debating the merits of blowing up the Flames recently and made reference to our beloved Oilers in his arguments against trading Iginla away for youth and building through the draft:

"If you want another example of what can go wrong when you blow things up, take a gander at the team up Highway 2. Again, they didn’t plan a teardown out of principle. Lauren Pronger made that decision for them around Christmas time of 2005 and the Oilers have been suffering for it ever since.

Even if their three highly touted young guys make the leap to be good NHLers, that team stands every chance of being bad for 6 or 7 years running. The Oilers are no more guaranteed long term success from their accumulation of kids than Atlanta was or the Islanders are. The Thrashers likely drafted better players in Heatley and Kovalchuk than Edmonton has, and as I mentioned, that franchise is nowhere."

UGH

Now first of all Cleave – if that is your real name – you had best keep the Mighty Oil’s name out of your mouth when discussing the downside of rebuilding. We seem to remember a certain heroic squadron laying an epic beat down on someone during opening night this year. That alone should buy us some level of shutting up for the remainder of the season.

Secondly you should also refrain from making chilling statements like "things going wrong when you blow things up." We consider this to be the first season of the rebuild – the past 3 seasons of hockey consisted of a bad team trying to put lipstick on a pig.

Thirdly, we would waaaaaaay rather be in 15th place trying to work out the problems with the Oilers baby faced squadron than be staring down the bench of expensive veterans who have collectively moved the team to 14th place in the standings.

We think.

*Our second offseason nightmare consisted of Pat Quinn trying to sell us ice cream at a Capitals game completely in the nude. True Story.

  • Max Powers - Team HME Evans

    Gotta say, from where I stand and the info available to me, I think I would do the trade if I were the Flames.

    Schenn is supposed to be the real deal.

  • I have received 3 emails asking me about the two legged cat. So far as I know the cat is legit and he is an inspiration to us all.

    If that cat can overcome his obvious obstacles and carry on in a business like manner, what right do we have to complain about the Oilers?

    WHAT RIGHT?

  • Great point about Atlanta. Heatley and Kovalchuk and later Hossa and Kovalchuk got the Thrashers one playoff appearance. A quick “one and done.” The problem with Atlanta is that they never had the fundamentals in place. Strength down the middle and a dominant Dman that can move the puck.

    Eberle, Hall, Paajarvi are all going to be excellent wingers. But it is incumbent upon the franchise to ensure that they get the top end centres and Dmen to give this team the backbone that it needs to be an elite team. Wingers are just arms and legs. This draft is rich in centres and dmen. I think this draft is more important to the Oilers than last years draft. They MUST find an elite centre or Dman in this draft.

  • lateralus

    You know I love my Oilers.

    Sure this year it’s been much more frustrating than I thought it would be but I still cheer for every goal they score and cringe for every lose they take.

    Sure I might drink more and stress more but if you slag my team, city or province I’m bringing the heat!

    I just love hockey and the Oilers, it’s that simple.