Behold the Canadian Male. Full swing into the Christmas Season of Hibernation he shan’t leave his couch for days. The big morning is now behind him and there ain’t not nuthin’ to do until the New Year but watch WJC, eat wings and – oh what’s this?
The Oilers play the Canucks tonight.
Thanks the Gods the game isn’t in Edmonton and would require the intense effort required to go to RX1. Get dressed, find way to game, go into game, take off jacket, stash beers under seat for third period. No thanks.
For that there is a time and place and this is neither the time nor the place. We will stay home at Wanye Manor where we are safe in our festive squalor thank you very much.
But for the Oilers it is both the time and the place. Bo-jillionaires don’t get Christmas breaks. Nay! They are forced from their 5,000 count sheets, loaded into their chauffeured Maybachs and driven to their waiting private jets.
Because the show must go on.
The Oilers have been doing a damn fine job of staying in lottery pick territory while enthralling the masses of late. Sure, they aren’t in last place in the league but they are sitting comfortably in 15th place in the West. If that is too successful for you at the Christmas Break then we tip our hat jauntily in your direction Sir.
The stupid Canucks on the other hand are pushing a 20-8-5 record. The Sedins are ever so identical and continue to put up points. Luongo and Co have let in a piddling 86 goals – to the Oilers eye raising 113 – and things out on the coast can be described in one word:
Rainy and winning.
Meanwhile the Oilers are in fighting condition and looking for trouble anywhere they can find it. The in house production crew has taken note and produced a ground breaking take on the Oilers Secret Santa plans this holiday season.
Lengthy statements by Devan Dubnyk. Zach Stortini jobes, Steve MacIntyre threats. Save some for the ice Oilers. Spicy!
We hope that Santa treated you exceptionally well this year and might see fit in his infinite wisdom to bring our beloved Oilers a victory tonight. Perhaps a Jordan Eberle hat trick if he has time.