Question: What is worse than a 30th place NHL Team?

Answer: A 30th place NHL team with 8 regulars out of the lineup.

You won’t believe what happened Nation. The Edmonton Oilers lost an ice hockey match! And even more mind shattering – the game wasn’t that exciting!

And are you sitting down for the final bit of shockery? They were outshot in the process.

We are with you game 82 Edmonton Oilers Ice Hockey Club. Every single bit of heart breaking, mailed it in hockey. We will be watching until the very end. And for some of the members of the squad, the end seems to have been about 10 games ago.


  • Kurtis Foster fell awkwardly into the boards and gave his coconut a good wrap in the process in the third. Given the Oilers luck of late he is probably out until some time in the 2015-16 season. Hopefully that isn’t the case, heavens knows the guy has been injured enough for a career.
  • One of the few remaining bright spots is Ryan Jones. Not only is he a delight on twitter, but he is trying quite hard when it comes to the on ice play. Remember that this guy was a waiver wire pickup – a win Tambellini should remember when he wakes up at night in a cold sweat this summer fearing for his job.
  • Eberle scored his 17th goal of the season. When you remember that he too missed a chunk of games due to injury, he seems like everything we were promised in the offseason. Hopefully he is getting the boxes of hair we mail to Rexall Place every Friday Night.
  • Won’t it be fun to have another first pick overall to fawn over next season? Won’t it be fun to witness 37 simultaneous sophmore slumps at the same time?


  • 24% body fat

    after wacthing tonight i cant fiugure out who is more offensiely dissapointing and who is more or a defensive liabilty Foster or Gilbert, man they are both junk. Hopefully Tuebert and Marancin turn out so we dont have to watch those two in the future.

  • Let's Rebuild

    I thought Gilbert looked pretty good on the PP, Foster has a shot but his puck handling doesnt seem to be on the level of Gilbert..

    I thought Omark was awesome once again, and I hope that one day the refs will start calling all the hooking the other teams do on him, the guy is so damn crafty and nearly impossible to move off the puck..he has got to be a keeper in the long run..Cogliano played aiight, but I wished he couldve finished those beauty feeds from Omark, yeah they were mostly saucer passes..tough to handle..but I hope Cogliano figures out how to finish those..

  • NamelessNed

    Tambo fearing for his job over the summer? You mean getting promoted to some other title like President of Hockey Operations Operator. Then make room for the next guy…

    On the upside(down), 30th has to be ours now!

    Wife was encouraging me to finally get an Oilers Jersey the other day, opted to wait for both better times, and to see who’s still here. Pretty sure Its going to be a #4 I’ll be sporting…perhaps in more exciting times.

    Good article…hope Foster is OK, not that I’m even remotely a fan, but hate to see someone get hurt like that; especially since his past has been ugly in regards to health. So frustrating seeing him, the guy who apparently has a BOOMING slapshot, and opts for poor passes and weak wristers…I mean, c’mon, BLAST IT ALREADY!!! thats your thing!!

    • Gerald R. Ford

      Nameless Ned said:

      “Wife was encouraging me to finally get an Oilers Jersey the other day, opted to wait for both better times, and to see who’s still here. Pretty sure Its going to be a #4 I’ll be sporting…perhaps in more exciting times.”

      Nameless Ned,

      First of all I feel your pain. I was facing the same problemo and solved it this way. I picked up an Oilers sweater out of the trunk of a taxi in Nogales that came with a chalkboard attached to the back so you can change the player name and number several times a day, depending on how pissed off you become. Right now my chosen sweater name is Don Nachbaur. I’m currently just working my way through the ‘N’s.

      After tonight’s lousy effort I’m thinking of changing my favorite player’s name to Mark Napier!!

  • PhillipSmithson

    Another year is coming to end, here’s hoping that Stu can pick another good crop of kids that will be playing in Game 7 for the Stanley Cup in 2020 (my 2 1/2 year old is giggling in excitement at the very thought).

    In the meantime, here are some building block ideas for Tamby.
    1) Go get a veteran center (good at faceoffs) to teach the young centers already in the system. Remember Oates/Peca teaching Stoll those many years ago??
    2) Find a way to turn Ryan Jones’ work ethic into an energy drink so that the rest of the team plays as hard as he does. (Be careful not to give the team his breakaway ability…not good)
    3) Bring back Ryan Smyth, that way he can retire as an Oiler!

    Enjoy the rest of the…season!

    • fuck off

      I think those honors go to Renney. No body else could be more responsible for all of the losses he added to the pot by starting Superbowl Sunday in the middle of every hot streak Duby had. Not to mention he only allowed Gerber to win 3 games rather than tossing ReKhabi down to the Barons where he has belonged this year.

  • stevezie

    The team is injured beyond criticism. The only thing to do is see which farm-teamer makes the most of the difficult opportunity.

    Giroux! I’m cheeri’ for ya! I know you’ve got bad linemates, but I’m cheerin’ for ya!

  • O.C.

    Hopefully Foster’s okay. Guy can’t hit the net for the life of him and he’s had too much bad luck with the boards,

    I predict the Oil have locked up 30th.

    (raises glass)
    “To the future.”


  • Reality Check to the head

    This to shall pass…

    Hopefully our patience will be rewarded. It is better to be the Oilers than the Flames at the moment. The Flames are where we were 2-3 years ago. Desperately holding to the flicker of a hope that you will make the last playoff position, while sacrificing draft position and salary cap to do it.

    I truly respect Iginla, please trade him to a team with a chance to do something in the near future.


    • Golden Seals

      The Flames are indeed just were we were. I suppose there is not an Oiler’s fan anywhere that does not truly respect Iginla. The guy is in the top 5 most classy players on the Ice in the modern NHL. When the Flamout management realizes that what we are doing is the only way they will once again come to the dance late and if very fortunate win one cup after we win at least two. So no matter what when this is all said and done it will still be better to be an Oiler Fan than a flames Fan.

      Man I loved game # 1 that was the best of fun!

  • Gerald R. Ford

    You know it’s been a long season when your best chance at Oiler-related entertainment is hoping that some half-wit caller taunts Dan Tencer with more “Mllhouse” smack on the post-game show, and then you turn on the radio, and some clown is talking about politics instead.

    Loving this team is like being a character in a Kazuo Ishiguro novel. Pain and suffering is not only our station in life, it is our sacred duty, and we embrace it with a quiet dignity.


  • book¡e

    On the Ryan Jones note, He was fun to watch last night. I think that comment Stauffer made to Jones last night about how Edmonton fans are taking a shine to him really motivated him. I mean, he is usually good, but I think that was one of his best games all year.

  • ubermiguel

    Top Ten things Oiler “situations” that are worse than this Edmonton winter?

    1. Tambo’s patience or lack of hockey sense?
    2. Habbi’s year in net or the fact he will be driving his Ferrari to the golf course in Phoenix in a couple weeks.
    3. The Oiler’s have more injuries right now than Lowe and Tambo’s bad deals combined
    4. Fans paying big money to watch half of the Baron’s play at Rexall right now.
    5. Jones will probably sign with the Flames for $80,000 more than Edmonton is willing to offer.
    6. Kates sends a Tweet that Tambo’s not going anywhere, at least not until we have finished 30th next year and get that draft’s first pick.
    7. Hemsky is injured in game number 3 next year and it is announced he is gone for the season.
    8. Horcoff gets a contract extension this summer, with more money and Tambo proclaims he is the team’s all star and one of the top first line center in the league.
    9. The new arena deal is voted down by city council next week, and Kates threatens to move the team to Quebec City. Kates hires Pocklington as a consultant for the move.

    and finally

    10. Octane is put cancelled until further notice, as they have become the biggest attraction at Rexall. It is taking away from ELPH

  • ubermiguel

    Correction to the opening riddle:

    Question: What is worse than a 30th place NHL Team?

    Answer: A 30th place NHL team with most of it’s regulars in the lineup and they’re in 30th place because they suck so much (see: last year).

  • Golden Seals

    Is this training staff going to get canned at the end of the season. It appears the new guys couldn’t keep this team any healthier than the old ones.

    • Ogden Brother Jr. - Team Strudwick for coach

      Maybe it’s time to not trade away guys that only miss 1 or 2 games a year, and start moving guys that constantly are injuried.

      • SLAM

        I don’t see how most of the injuries could have been prevented by the training staff unless they had some sort of psychic powers:

        Shawn Horcoff – Hit by an errant slapshot

        Taylor Hall – Getting up from a fight

        Gilbert Brule – Ran into Kris Letang

        Ryan Whitney – Caught a rut on the ice

        Sam Gagner – Cut from a skate while on the bench

        Ales Hemsky – Shoulder surgery

        JF Jacques – Foot injury

        Colin Fraser – Foot injury

        Kurtis Foster – Neck injury

        It seems to me that to avoid most of these injuries, the training staff would have to be able to predict when it’d happen and do a Quantum Leap to set right what once went wrong. And if they did have these powers, they should go back and unmake the Gretzky trade somehow or at the very least send me the winning lottery numbers. 😀

  • SLAM

    had a good laugh today listening to nashville’s commentators say eberles name. go to nhl rookies and click video for jordan and listen to the commentator say his name on his goal. EEEBERLE.